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THE WILD-THING RULES

(There's one in every bunch!)

NOTE: These rules are not necessarily suppose to be taking seriously. If anything, they are provided for your amusement. It seems people will make rules for anything. Before throwing this guide a way because of this section, you might want to read the whole guide and then only throw out sections like this one. And if you keep sections like this one, you may want to seek counseling :)

There comes a time in an adventurer's life when he/she wants to engage in the act of sex. Unfortunately, most RPG rule books avoid the subject for obvious reasons. A player rolls dice from pottery to dancing, so why not sex.

At first glance, it may seem that a character can have sex for quite a long time. This is true for player characters. They have superior attributes and thus can perform better (that's why they're great adventurers). However, an average character would have attributes between 9-12. Using the below rules, an average character (10 or 11 in all attributes) could go a minimum of 10 or 11 minutes (rounds) and might be able to go an additional 10 or 11 minutes if very, very luck (dice deities willing, but don't bet on it).

Some GMs may feel that certain races should be more adept at sex than others. Many arguments can be made for every race. The one race that most people feel should have modifiers is the dwarf race. However, since theses rules are based on constitution and since initial character generation gives bonus or penalties to Constitution (dwarves get +1), it is not necessary to give additional modifiers to race.

The following is the steps to go through to see if a character can continue having sex:

  1. A character can initially last a minimum of rounds equal to his/her Constitution with certain modifiers. Table 1 lists modifiers to Constitution by dexterity (remember: it's how you use it). Table 2 lists modifiers to Constitution by strength (gotta be able to keep up). Table 3 lists modifiers to Constitution by the partner's Charisma (charismatic partners really enhance sex, even if their Attractiveness isn't high). If he/she wishes to continue, then he/she must make Constitution checks (Step 2).

  2. After the initial rounds pass, the character must make a Constitution check for each round he/she wishes to continue. Modifiers to this check are from Table 1 and Table 2 And Table 3, plus cumulative modifier of -1. The character also needs to make a time to climax (TTC) check. A 1 on a 1d6 for males and a 1 on a 1d10 for women indicates such an occurrence. An additional TTC roll is made and a result of 1 indicates multiple orgasms (keep rolling while 1s come up). Of course, males could have trouble continuing after this, but the player can make such decisions.

  3. A failed check means the character lost interest for whatever reason.
NOTE: In most cases it take two to tango, so remember to keep track of all participates.

Table 1: Dexterity Modifier
A. Score Modifier Description
03-05 -4 <-- not much fun
06-08 -2  
09-12  0  
13-15 +2  
16-18 +4 <-- someone could get hurt

Table 2: Strength Modifier
A. Score Modifier Description
03-05 -4 <-- wears out easily
06-08 -2  
09-12  0  
13-15 +2  
16-18 +4 <-- nasty

Table 3: Partner's Charisma Modifier
A. Score Modifier
03-05 -4
06-08 -2
09-12  0
13-15 +2
16-18 +4

Table 1: Dexterity Modifier

A. Score   Modifier
 03-05        -4   <-- not much fun
 06-08        -2
 09-12         0
 13-15        +2
 16-18        +4   <-- someone could get hurt


Table 2: Strength Modifier

A. Score   Modifier
 03-05        -4   <-- wears out easily
 06-08        -2
 09-12         0
 13-15        +2
 16-18        +4   <-- nasty


Table 3: Partner's Charisma Modifier

A. Score   Modifier
 03-05        -4
 06-08        -2
 09-12         0
 13-15        +2
 16-18        +4