LOHOCLA'S TOME OF ULTIMATE CHAOS APPEARANCE: This is a magical volume 12" long and 6" wide. Both covers and the spine of the book are fashioned from a oiled cedar wood which possesses a deep golden-brown shine. On the inside is a spine made of leather, glued to the wooden spine, to which are sewn the pages of high-quality vellum. The corners of the cover are reinforced by silver corner caps. Silver hinges attach the covers to the spin, and both covers are joined by a silver clasp with a lock. The symbol of Lohocla, an ornamental "L" of gold is on the cover. The "L" is engulfed in beautiful vines, wheat, barley, and other natural, agricultural resources of alcohol. HISTORY AND DESCRIPTION: Lohocla has created many of these tomes and has distributed them across the planes. The main recipients of such a grand prize are those mages with a great, if not excessive, fondness for alcohol. Although there are many tomes, they are all identical except for a small serial number on the back cover in the lower right hand corner. PAGES: Symbol Page (1 page) The decorative symbol of Lohocla which appears on the cover fills this page. Once a person views the symbol, he/she must make a save vs. poison or enter a state of comatose intoxication. Of course, this page is intended to be a non-lethal defense mechanism. Alcohol Information (50 pages) These pages are an informative collection of knowledge on alcohol. The player should consult the Introduction To Alcohol, Skill In Brewing, Skill In Wine-Making, Skill In Distilling, and Everything You Ever Wanted To Know About Distilleries sections of The Complete Guide to Alcohol for examples of the content. A character with Intelligence of at least 12 that studies the information may take a non-weapon skill in brewing, wine-making, or distilling if a NWP slot is available. Information Transfer Pages (6 pages) The first page of this section tells of Lohocla's plans to collect all the information in the known planes on alcohol. This is followed by specific instructions. The instructions direct the mage to write any pertinent alcohol information on the next five pages using normal ink. After the information is written, a magical transfer takes place in an hour. All information on those 5 pages appear on magical scrolls in Lohocla's possession. At his convenience, Lohocla examines the information and probably archives it. Depending on the content, Lohocla may decide to follow up the information. He would be curious to sample a new alcohol drink, visit a new and exciting tavern, or research a new alcohol spell mentioned in the information. The information is wiped clean from the tome. Spells Level 1 Lohocla's Create Beer & Pretzels Lohocla's Deadly Bottle Rockets Lohocla's Enchanted Bartender & Staff Level 2 Lohocla's Drunken Memory Teleport Lohocla's Monster Summoning 1/2 Pint Level 3 Lohocla's Aqua Vitae Lohocla's Fire Flow Lohocla's Tipsy Turvey Teleport Level 4 Lohocla's Cloud of Alcohol Lohocla's "Shaken Not Stirred" Level 5 Lohocla's Mother-of-All-Burps Lohocla's Create Beer & Pretzels (Alteration) Level: 1 Range: 10 yards Components: V, S, M Duration: Special Casting Time: 1 turn Area of Effect: Special Save: None Lohocla didn't want clerics to be the only spell casters able to create food. Unfortunately, the results might not be as nourishing as a cleric's food and water. However, Lohocla's beer and pretzels have their benefits. When this spell is cast, the mage causes beer and pretzels to appear. For every level of the mage, a quart of beer is created and a half-pound of pretzels. The pretzels come in a wide variety of sizes and types. The beer is of excellent quality and quite filling. The beer becomes flat and the pretzels become stale in 24 hours, although they can be restored for another 24 hours by a purify spell of some sort. The material components of the spell is a pinch of salt and a pinch of hops. Lohocla's Deadly Bottle Rockets (Evocation) Level: 1 Range: 50 yards + 10 yards/level Components: V, M Duration: Instantaneous Casting Time: 1 Area of Effect: 1 or more creatures in 25-foot cube Save: None This spell was created by Lohocla or at least commissioned by him. Lohocla wanted to give a gift(?) back to those mages who have supported him in the past. This spell is bizarre in that a person must be intoxicated to use. Lohocla has a unique concept of magic and the best way to wield it. Yet, this may be a benefit because this eccentric spell allows the mage to cast at low-level, a powerful and damaging (possibly dangerous) rockets at its opponents even though his current ability is poor because the intoxication. The material components of this spell are a bottle of alcohol (any type) and a 1-foot long smooth stick that can fit into the bottle with one end sticking out. An unusual spell indeed, this spell cannot be cast unless the caster is under the influence of alcohol (i.e. in a state of slight, moderate, or great intoxication). Of course, the mage generally doesn't go adventuring while drunk, so this becomes a big hindrance if not useless. On the other hand, it can be a real benefit when the mage goes to a place knowing full well that he will become intoxicated. Mainly, because the % of spell failure does not exist in the case of this spell (note that the chance of spell failure is still there for all other spells). This becomes very valuable because the mage can get intoxicated, with all the problems it entails, and always have a memorized spell that will work (especially when greatly intoxicated when the % chance of spell failure is 100%). When the mages casts the spell, he must take a swig of alcohol from the bottle, place the stick in the bottle, and then aim the bottle at its target which all takes place while saying the magical words. Once the spell is cast, 2 per-level sparkling rockets of magical energy fly out of the bottle with a ear piercing whistle to unerringly strike their target(s) with a dazzling display of colors (see below). This includes enemy creatures in a melee. The target creature must be seen must be seen otherwise detected to be hit, however, so near-total concealment, such as that offered by arrow slits, can render the spell ineffective. Likewise, the caster must be able to identify the target. He cannot direct a rocket to "strike the captain of the guard," unless he can single out the captain from the rest of the soldiers. Specific parts of a creature cannot be singled out. Inanimate objects (locks, etc.) cannot be damaged by the spell, and the rockets disperse with no effect. Very fascinating, the damage a rocket does is dependent on the state of intoxication the mage is in. If in a state of slight intoxication, each rocket will do 1d4+1 points of damage. If in a state of moderate intoxication, each rocket will do 1d8+1 points of damage. If in a state of great intoxication, each rocket will do 1d12+1 points of damage. This is possibly the only instance where being more intoxicated is a benefit in combat. When a rocket hits a target, a spray (5' X 10' X 10' wedge) of vivid multiple colors spring forth from the impact spot. Usually, the color splash is harmless but dazzling. There is a 1% chance per level of the caster that the color slash will be harmful. If harmful, then from one to six creatures (1d6) within the area are affected in order of increasing distance from the target. All creatures above the level of the mage and all those of 6th level or 6 hit dice or more are entitled to a save vs. spell. Blind or unseeing creatures are not affected by the spell. Creatures not allowed or failing saves, and whose hit dice or levels are less than or equal to the mage's level, are struck unconscious for 2d4 rounds; those with hit dice or levels 1 or 2 greater than the mage's level are blinded for 1d4 rounds; those with hit dice or levels 3 or more greater than that of the mage are stunned (reeling and unable to think or act coherently) for one round. Lohocla's Enchanted Bartender & Staff (Conjuration/Summoning) Level: 1 Range: 0 Components: V, S, M Duration: 1 hour / level Casting Time: 1 Area of Effect: 40-foot radius Save: None Lohocla created this spell for a tavern owner, who happened to be a retired adventurer mage, that was having business trouble. Lohocla gave him 100 gold pieces, bestowed the bartending NWP on him, taught him an abundance of alcohol drinks, gave him the spell, and cast a permanency spell on an enchanted bartender to serve the mage as a main bartender. The spell is not one normally studied by adventuring mages but is often used by retired adventurers and other sedentary types. This specialized version of the unseen servant was developed with one particular task in mind - bartending and barkeeping. The enchanted bartender and staff are magical forces under the control of the mage. The main power of the spell creates an enchanted bartender. It can perform simple barkeeping actions like making, serving, and doctoring drinks; wiping the bar; cleaning dirty drinking vessels; filling snack bowls; etc.. The enchanted bartender can only make mixed drinks that the mage himself has prepared at some point in his life. Hopefully, the mage has the bartending non-weapon skill so that his enchanted bartender can make perfect drinks. Every three levels, the mage can create an enchanted barmaid to assist the enchanted bartender. Thus at level 3 the mage can create one barmaid, at level 6 the mage can create two barmaids, at level 9 the mage can create three barmaids, etc.. An enchanted barmaid cannot mix drinks like the enchanted bartender. An enchanted barmaid can perform simple barmaid actions like serving drinks and snacks, wiping off tables, sweeping up messes, etc.. Every six levels, the mage can create an enchanted bouncer. Thus at level 6 the mage can create one bouncer, at level 12 the mage can create two bouncers, at level 18 the mage can create three bouncers, etc.. An enchanted bouncer serves only one purpose: to expel disorderly persons (with the exception of the mage of course) in a bar/tavern setting. An enchanted bouncer has a Strength of 18/1d100, a Dexterity of 18, and a number of hit points equal to the mages. If an enchanted bouncer is given resistance, he proficiently attacks with non-lethal combat such as punching and wrestling. GMs must be sure that the player does not abuse an enchanted bouncer's power. It is only created to expel disorderly people in a bar/tavern setting, not to enter the mage's combative battles while adventuring. The enchanted bartender and staff with the exception of the bouncers are no stronger then an unseen servant and no more dextrous than its creator. The enchanted bartender and staff can be left to do their duties on their own. If something disrupts the smooth flow of their routine (such as the arrival of Tiamat), the staff will go to the enchanted bartender who will seek the advice of its creator. All creations may be dispelled by the caster at will. Also, an enchanted bartender or any staff other than the bouncers can be dispelled by taking 6 points of damage from the area of effect attacks such as breath weapons, explosions, etc.. A dispel magic spell will get rid of everybody. The material components of this spell are a block of birch wood and some string. Lohocla's Drunken Memory Teleport (Alteration) Level: 2 Range: 5 feet / level Components: V Duration: Permanent Casting Time: 2 segments Area of Effect: Special Save: Reverses Another gift of Lohocla's to strange mages this is the low-level sister spell to Lohocla's Tipsy Turvey Teleport. Although it may seem quite powerful, it is not. The consequences of casting this spell are quite dangerous, which will be mentioned later. Many first-level spells would be a much better pick, but some half-crazed mages add this spell to their collection for a little random spontaneity. When this spell is used, the mage is able to teleport a maximum weight of 250 pounds, plus additional 150 pounds for each level of experience above the 10th (a 13th-level mage can teleport up to 700 pounds), to a randomly selected place. The place has an alcohol theme (i.e. inns, taverns, bars, wineries, breweries, distilleries, vineyards, etc.) and is a location previously visited by the mage after receiving the spell. Thus, a mage who just copied the spell into his spell book would have a non-functioning spell until he visited an alcohol-related location. The player should make a table of all the locations and once the spell is cast, roll on the table to see where the teleportees go to. The GM may opt to make the locations on the table be weighted thus making the more frequently visited places become the target of the spell more often. The spell functions by scanning the character's subconscious for those places in memory where alcohol or alcohol themes were present. Every living being or magical item gets a save, if desired (a person who wants himself and his belongings teleported doesn't require a save). If the save is successful, the mage and any comrades/friends (the spell scans the mage's mind to see who should accompany the spell) are teleported instead as long as everybody's weight is under the maximum weight able to be teleported. It is the GM's decision who gets teleported with the mage if everybody can't be teleported because of the weight restriction. Because the spell can be reversed and that the spell uses the mage's memories, it can be very dangerous for the mage if he uses it against enemies. Mainly, the spell sends the enemies to the establishments that the mage visited and if the mage ever returns to these places, the people there will probably be quite upset. The best use of the spell is to cast it on himself and the his comrades so they will be teleported to the places. Of course, if there are hostile places that they can be teleported to, then they could be in an even worse situation. Also, not to many adventuring parties will want to chance leaving in the middle of an adventure because of this spell. Unlike its sister spell, Lohocla's Tipsy Turvey Teleport, this spell permanently teleports the teleportees to the location. Why such a low level spell? Without reiterating the dangers of the spell's reverse ability, randomness, and the level of relative spells (i.e. Teleport, Teleport without Error); the best argument is based on spell and mage level. It is a fact that a high level spell can only be utilized by a high level mage. It is assumed that a high level mage will have high level opponents. High level opponents will have a good chance of making their saves, thus rendering the spell reversible. Thus, as a mage goes up in level, this spell becomes progressively useless. If the spell has a high level that only high level mages can take, it would not see much use. However, if the spell has a low level that can be utilized by low level mages, it would have use (at a high risk) for a time. Before a player or GM doesn't give this spell a chance, just remember that nothing can be more nostalgic then high-level characters being teleported to a tavern they once visited when they were first level. Plus, GMs can dig out the old information that they thought they would never use again. Lohocla's Monster Summoning 1/2 Pint (Conjuration/Summoning) Level: 2 Range: 20 yards Components: V, S, M Duration: 1 rounds + 1 round/level Casting Time: 2 Area of Effect: Special Save: None This chaotic spell is respectfully named for the Guardian of Alcohol Lohocla. Actually the spell was created by a mage, with a fondness for booze, who wanted to pay tribute to the "King" with a powerful low-level spell. When Lohocla found out about this tribute, the mage was lavishly rewarded with many bottles, barrels, and jugs of excellent wine, beer, ale, and mead. They became quick bar buddies with a hefty tab. Anyhow, the spell isn't as grand and powerful as it may seem. Although the spell can give great rewards, it can equally cause as much trouble. Thus, it is a low level spell that few mages would add to their collection. Only the foolish of mages take such an unpredictable spell. Luckily most adventurers are foolish. Within one round of casting this spell, the mage magically conjures a monster or monsters that have a relationship to alcohol (no matter how minute). Roll on the Table A to see what monster(s) are summoned. When a mage reaches 9th level, he may at his option modify the die roll by 1 thus giving him a choice of three monsters. Thus a 9th level mage rolls a 2. He can now decide to summon a St. Bernard dog (2), Throat Leach (1=2-1), or Clydesdale horse (3=2+1). Every four levels, the mage can get an extra roll on the table if he wants. Thus at level 5 the mage gets two rolls, at level 9 the mage gets three rolls, at level 13 the mage gets four rolls, etc.. TABLE A: Monster(s) Summoned (1d100 / 3 rounding up) Die No. Frequency Roll Monster Appearing Found In & Hit Die 1 Throat Leach 1d6 FF 88 comm 1hp 2 Dog, Saint Bernard 1 Alcohol Guide comm 2+2 3 Horse, Clydesdale 1 Alcohol Guide comm 3+3 4 Leprechaun 1d20 MC2 unco 2-5hp 5 Satyr 2d4 MC1 unco 5 6 Boozeworm 1d2 Alcohol Guide rare 2hp 7 Sprite 10d10 MC1 rare 1hp 8 Oozes, Crystal 1d2 MC1 rare 4 9 Centaur, Sylvan 1d8 MC1 rare 4 10 Milwaukee 1 Alcohol Guide rare 5 11 Succubus 1 MC Outer Planes rare 6 12 Mold, Brown 1 patch MC2 very - 13 Alcohol Hummingbird 1 Alcohol Guide very 2hp 14 Alchemy Plant 1 MC9 Spelljamer2 very 1 15 Skeleton, Yo-Ho-Ho 3d10 Alcohol Guide very 1+2 16 Ants, Red Alcohol 1d100 Alcohol Guide very 2-3 17 Ants, Black Alcohol 1d100 Alcohol Guide very 2-3 18 Gremlin, Fremlin 1d4 MC Greyhawk very 3+6 19 Horse, Volatilis Clyde. 5d10 Alcohol Guide very 4 20 Horse, Pravus Clydesdale 1d20 Alcohol Guide very 5 21 Dragon, Kodragon 1 MC DragonLance very 5 22 Korred 1d4 MC1 very 6+1 23 Elephant, Pink 1d12 Alcohol Guide very 11 24 Luch 1 Alcohol Guide very 11+ 25 Alcohol Dragon 1 Alcohol Guide very 13+ 26 REROLL on Table A with -1 cumulative to the die roll 27 REROLL on Table A with -2 cumulative to the die roll 28 REROLL on Table A with -3 cumulative to the die roll 29 ROLL twice on Table A ignoring rolls greater than 24 30 ROLL thrice on Table A ignoring rolls greater than 24 31 Special: ROLL on Table B TABLE B: Special (1d100) Die No. Frequency Roll Monster Appearing Found In & Hit Die 01-15 Malus Succubus (avatars) 1d2 AG (Malus) very 6 16-30 The Wines (avatars) 1 AG (Vinumus) very 31-45 Boozies (avatars) 1d12 AG (Ebrietas) very 15 46-60 Swissyries (avatars) 6 AG (Excitarus) very 15 61-70 Excitarus' dogs (minions) 4 AG (Excitarus) uniq 10ea 71-75 Berry & Grape (minions) 2 AG (Vinumus) uniq 15ea 76-80 Seltzer (human) 1 AG (Ebrietas) uniq 7 81-90 The Guardian Of Alcohol 1 AG uniq 91-95 Bartles & James (gods) 1 AG (Vinumus) uniq 96 Ebrietas (god) 1 AG (Ebrietas) uniq 97 Malus Temulentia (god) 1 AG (Malus) uniq 98 Vinumus (god) 1 AG (Vinumus) uniq 99 Excitarus (god) 1 AG (Excitarus) uniq 00 Special: ROLL on Table C TABLE C: Special II (1d30) Die Roll Result 01-05 REROLL on Table B with -10 cumulative to the die roll 06-10 REROLL on Table B with -20 cumulative to the die roll 11-15 REROLL on Table B with -30 cumulative to the die roll 16-20 REROLL on Table B with -40 cumulative to the die roll 21-22 ROLL 2x on Table B 23-24 ROLL 3x on Table B 25-26 ROLL 4x on Table B 27 ROLL 5x on Table B and duck because the shit will hit the fan 28 The mage may choose his force from Table A 29 The mage may choose his force from Table B; no gods 30 The GM should reward such great dice rolling with a wish or some great item of alcohol nature. Then he should have the dice checked to see if they are really that good. Any rolls equal to or less than 0 are equal to 1. The monsters, or monster if only one was summoned, appear in an area within the spell range, as desired by the mage. If the monster is from Table A, roll on Table D to see how the monster or monsters will react. TABLE D: Monster(s) Reactions (1d12) 01-06 They attack the spell caster's opponents to the best of their ability until either he commands that the attacks cease, the spell duration expires, or the monsters are slain. If no opponent exists to fight, summoned monsters can, if a wizard can communicate with them and if they are physically able, perform other services for the summoning mage. 07-10 They attack the spell caster and his comrades to the best of their ability until the spell duration expires, or the monsters are slain. 11-12 They act independently of the spell caster and will act according to intelligence, alignment, morale, and the GMs wishes. The creatures vanish when slain. Creatures from 1 and 2 do not check morale. The material components of this spell are a tiny bag, a small candle (not necessarily lit), and a 1/2 pint of pure grain alcohol. Lohocla's Aqua Vitae (Necromancy) Level: 3 Range: Touch Components: V, S, M Duration: Permanent Casting Time: 9 Area of Effect: Creature touched Save: None The great magic of healing is not limited to those medic clerics that roam with adventuring parties. Lohocla bestows the art of healing to mages through this spell. Known to some as the "Water of Life", this spell's healing powers begin once the mage anoints the injured person with alcohol. The alcohol may be of any type (i.e. beer, wine, liquor, etc.) but must be a minimum of 100 years old (i.e. created at least a century ago). When anointing the injured person, the mage must have physical contact with the victim (i.e. touch him). After the spell is cast, it causes 1d8 + 1 for every level of the mage points of wound or other injury damage to the creature's body to be healed. This healing cannot affect creatures without corporeal bodies, nor can it cure wounds of creatures not living or of extraplanar origin. Curing is permanent only insofar as the creature does not sustain further damage; caused wounds will heal - or can be cured - just as any normal injury. This spell along with the permanency spell and a few other magicks can be used to make a healing potion. Unlike the cleric's healing potions, this mage's potion has the taste and effects of wine. An exciting concept indeed. Lohocla's Fire Flow (Alteration) Level: 3 Range: Special Components: V, S, M Duration: 1 round / level Casting Time: 3 Area of Effect: Special Save: None After the mage casts this spell, a stream of flaming alcohol shoots out in a straight line from his clenched fist. The mage can move the stream 90 degrees per round. Thus given 4 rounds, the mage can cover 360 degrees, i.e. engulf his surroundings. The amount of flaming alcohol is dependent of the mage's level. A 5th level mage casts a "stream", a 5' long stream, at a rate of 5 gallon per round. A 7th level mage casts a "fountain", a 10' long stream, at a rate 10 gallons per round. A 9th level mage casts a "geyser", a 20' long stream, at a rate 25 gallons per round. A mage has the option of producing a less potent flow. For example, a 9th level mage is able to cast a geyser but may opt to cast a fountain or stream. When any creature comes in contact with the burning alcohol, it suffers 1d4 points of damage, plus 1 point of damage for each level of experience of the mage. The liquid will remain for the duration of the spell doing 2 points of damage each round. Flammable materials touched by the liquid burn. Things burning can be extinguished in the next round after the spell ends if no other action is taken. "Stop, Drop, and Roll." The mage's movement is quartered for the duration of the spell. Also, he may not perform any other actions except aiming the flow. The mage may not stop the flow of the flaming alcohol, only the ending of the spell will do this. The material components of the spell are a bar of lye soap, a pint of pure alcohol, and a flame from any source. Lohocla's Tipsy Turvey Teleport (Alteration) Level: 3 Range: 10 feet / level Components: V Duration: Special Casting Time: 2 segments Area of Effect: Special Save: Reverses Lohocla wanted to help mages escape from dire situations or get rid of their enemies very quickly. Unfortunately the spell tries to do both which lends itself to chaos and tends to accomplish the wrong solution. The disorder of this spell presents itself in many ways, as most of Lohocla's spells do. This spell isn't the most powerful spell (although it may seem so), mainly because it has a big chance of backfiring. It might get the mage and his comrades out of trouble, but it could give them some new problems. When this spell is used, the mage is able to teleport a maximum weight of 250 pounds, plus additional 150 pounds for each level of experience above the 10th (a 13th-level mage can teleport up to 700 pounds), to a randomly selected place. Every living being or magical item gets a save, if desired (a person who wants himself and his belongings teleported doesn't require a save). If the save is successful, the mage and any comrades are teleported instead as long as everybody's weight is under the maximum weight able to be teleported. It is the GM's decision who gets teleported with the mage if everybody can't be teleported because of the weight restriction. Roll on Table A to see where the victims are teleported. The descriptions presented here are in terms as if the characters were teleported. Why? Nobody cares what happens to other people who are teleported to these locations. Players want to know what happens to their characters and GMs will be required to run a scenario in the new location. Thus, the information is provided to assist GMs in a running a clever and humorous scenario. The places presented here are ideas and suggestions from fiction and non-fiction of the past, present, and future. GMs should feel to modify the locations as he sees fit to better suit his knowledge (some suggestions are give in the description). The better a GM knows a place, the better the characters' encounter will be. Also remember: "Just go with the flow". The duration of the spell is: 1d30 hours + 2d30 minutes + 2d30 seconds + 1 hour per level (Note: those that aren't one of the elite group who have a 30-sider may substitute a 20-sider, but they are missing one of the great treasurers of the RPG world). GMs may opt to decide the duration based on his plans for the characters in the strange locations. GMs are encouraged to make these encounters exciting and unique. If the GM thrusts the characters into an exciting plot in a bizarre environment, then the GM should not be constrained by the spell's duration. The spell is intended to add thrills to PCs' adventuring career and a little fun for the GM's hard work. Why such a low level spell? Without reiterating the dangers of the spell's reverse ability, randomness, and the level of relative spells (i.e. Teleport, Teleport without Error); the best argument is based on spell and mage level. It is a fact that a high level spell can only be utilized by a high level mage. It is assumed that a high level mage will have high level opponents. High level opponents will have a good chance of making their saves, thus rendering the spell reversible. Thus, as a mage goes up in level, this spell becomes progressively useless. If the spell has a high level that only high level mages can take, it would not see much use. However, if the spell has a low level that can be utilized by low level mages, it would have use (at a high risk) for a time. TABLE A: Locations (Roll 1d100 / 4 rounded up) 01. Dodge City Saloon in Dodge City, KA (1874, real world) The characters find themselves, just outside the swinging doors of an old west saloon in Dodge City, or an old west city the GM likes. Great scenarios exist in the root-and-tooten wild west. Hopefully, the characters arrival will stir up a lot of trouble with the outlaws, sheriffs, and other interesting folks. The GM is referred to The Complete Guide To RPG Technology and the Boot Hill RPG to assist in handling old west situations. 02. Miriam's Place in Nepal (1936, Raiders of the Lost Ark) Miriam's Place is a dive nestled deep in the cold mountains of Nepal. Miriam, inherited it from her father Abner, an archaeologist. The adventurers can appear in the establishment before Indiana Jones or the Nazis show up OR any time the GM wishes. Hopefully, the characters will tag along with Indiana Jones as he searches for the Ark of the Covenant (treat as a powerful artifact). If GMs want to allow characters to adventure with Indiana, then he should watch the movie and take some serious notes. It will be worth it, even though the players have probably seen the movie. GMs may want Indiana to go back to the characters' world as an exciting NPC or new player character. 03. Rosie's Bar or The Officer's Club at MASH 4077 in Korea (1950- 1953, MASH television show) The characters find themselves in one of the local bars of the MASH 4077. The GM can put them in any time with the old or new cast. Many exciting scenarios exist with this mad-capped crew. Frank Burns can capture the characters as the enemy. Hot lips can be attracted to one of the charismatic characters. The GM should consider picking his favorite episode and drop the characters in the middle of it. "5:00 Charlie". 04. Schott's Brewing Company in Milwaukee, WS (1950s, Laverne and Shirley) The characters find themselves in the middle of the Milwaukee Brewing company surrounded by bottles traveling on conveyor belts and lots of other machinery. Two young workers, Laverne and Shirley, are nearby working. Of course, Laverne and Shirley will have to get involved with the characters, possibly even asking one of them out for a date (a good way to see the 20th century city). GMs should watch the television show to see some of the mad-capped adventures they can get into if they stick with Laverne, Shirley, Lenny, and Squiggy. 05. The Regal Beagle in Los Angeles, CA (1980s, Threes Company) The characters find themselves in a corner booth of a small pub. Sitting nearby by are Jack, Janet, and Chrissy (or Terry). Across the room is Larry picking up a women. The Ropers (or Mr. Firley) are also in the pub. Many exciting plots can develop if the characters interact with the people. Of course, it should be based on a huge misunderstanding, GMs should watch the television show to see how goofy everybody acts. Hopefully, GMs won't go crazy watching the show. 06. The Pacific Princess cruise ship some where on the Pacific Ocean (1980s, The Love Boat) Possibly one of the worst encounters, the characters find themselves at the bar by the pool or in the Pirate's Cove on the Pacific Princess cruise ship better known as the Love Boat. Of course, the first person they meet will be big-grinned Issac Washington the chief bartender. Other ship's crew are Julie Mccoy, Gopher, the good doctor, and the captain. Hopefully, the characters won't be considered stowaways and can interact with everybody. All kinds of people can be passengers on the ship so the GM may go nuts with interaction. Please don't let Charo on. 07. Alcohol Anonymous Meeting, anywhere (present, real world) The characters find themselves outside a door which has "AA" on it. If they enter, the characters see a bunch of people who are discussing their alcohol problem. They openly welcome the characters who must have a problem given their strange appearance and behavior. 08. The Boar's Nest in Hazzard County, GA (present, The Dukes of Hazzard) The characters find themselves outside of a grey wood building with a Boar's Nest sign. There are some interesting motor vehicles in the dirt parking lot: a orange "racing" car with a 01 on the side and a confederate flag on top, a long white convertible with a bull horn on the hood, a nice-looking jeep with a golden eagle on the hood and "Dixie" written on the side, a old white pick-up truck, a tow-truck, and two beat-up police cars. If they enter the building, the characters find a country bar. Among the patrons are Uncle Jesse, Bo and Luke (or sadly Coy and Vince), Crazy Cooter, Enos, Cledos, and the sexy long-legged Daisy waiting tables in her oh-so-tight shorts. In a back room can be found Boss Hogg and Roscoe. Oh boy, the many scenarios in Hazzard is unreal. The characters could get hired by Boss Hogg for a mischief task. They could help the Dukes stop Boss Hogg and Roscoe do something terrible. They could get the Duke Boys out of trouble. And of course, everybody will want to become Daisy Duke's love interest. Personally, somebody should beat up Enos, that sissy hillbilly. Whatever scenario the GM creates, it should be based around the moonshine business. The GM should definitely have a hide speed car chase with all the jumps. The GM should also watch the show over and over again to really get the feel of Hazzard County. 09. Bush Gardens Amusement Park in Williamsburg, VA (present, real world) The characters find themselves riding on the Loch Ness Monster Roller Coaster, or another exciting ride. Hopefully, the characters can survive the ride and tour the amusement park and the brewery. The characters, dressing as adventurers usually do, will find themselves be approached by the tourists thinking that they (the characters) are part of the attraction ("Look honey, get a picture of little Albert with the medieval mage"). The only way the characters can get American currency is to sell their gold, silver, copper, and platinum pieces to the tourists (GMs should be stingy in this regard, as the tourists would be). Hopefully, the character will buy some souvenirs after obtaining some cash. As the advertisement states: "Come. See. Conquer!" 10. Cheers Bar in Boston, MA (present, Cheers) "Where everybody knows your name, and your friends they're glad you came...". That's right, the characters are in the famous Cheers bar with all the staff and patrons: Sam Malone, Norm, Cliff, Frazier, Carla, Rebecca or Diane, Woody or Coach. A GM should pick a favorite episode of the television show and thrust their characters in the middle of it. Many possible scenarios can take place in the bar. Their clothes alone allows Carla to insult the characters' wardrobe, Diane to belive the characters are a theater group and request a performance, Frazier to try and help them mentally, Norm and Cliff to accept them as long as they get a beer from them. 11. The Corner Cafe in Lavale, MD (present, real world) The Corner Cafe is in the Country Club Mall. This is a typical mall bar and GMs should feel free to change this to a bar in a familiar mall. The main point of this encounter is to get the characters into a mall. If they can get a hold of some money and try to fit in, then they can have tons of fun shopping. Of course, interaction with the mall rent-a-cops would be fun as well. 12. HammerJacks in Baltimore, Maryland (present, real world) The characters pop in amongst a large wild crowd in the ultimate heavy metal bar. The characters will mostly go unnoticed because everybody here is weird. Cans of warm beer for only $3.75 and drinks in plastic cups (glass is dangerous) for even larger prices can be bought. Overflowing toilets, sinks, and garbage cans are in the bathroom. But most importantly, the GM should have his favorite heavy metal (or close to heavy metal) group on stage with more groups to come. If the GM can't come up with one, have Guns N' Roses preforming when the characters arrive. Then Metallica and then Skid Row can perform. What a night, as long as the characters don't get drunk and pass out. This can lead to many exciting encounters, especially if the characters can get a hold of the 20th century technology, i.e. the electric guitar. 13. Improv Comedy Club, Los Angeles, CA (present, real world) The characters find themselves in the back of a dark bar. There is a stage in the front on which is a person performing comedy. A waitress asks the characters if they would like to be seated now and then takes there drink orders. This encounter is a great place for the GM to do a comedy routine if that is his forte. Hopefully, the GM will at least put well known comics on stage like Dennis Miller. 14. Mo's Tavern in Springfield, U.S.A. (present, The Simpsons) The characters find themselves in the cartoon world of The Simpsons. What can be more exciting then being a cartoon. They get to meet Mo, Homer, Barney, and the rest of the drunks. The GM is referred to the Toon RPG to make this experience a memorable one. 15. The Nudy Bar in Paw Paw, WV (present, real world) The GM can make this a strip bar nearest (and maybe even familiar) to the GM. If the GM is not familiar with such things, then it will be a bar in a hick town in West Virginia. The characters find themselves in the back of the Paw Paw, WV nudy bar. The bar is packed with loud, obnoxious hillbillies whaling and slobbering over naked, tattooed, scarred, somewhat-attractive women. Very few people will notice the oddness of the characters do to the floor show. 16. The Safehouse in Milwaukee, WS (present, real world/James Bond movies) Characters find themselves outside a fairly nondescript cream brick building. The Safehouse is just south of the Windham hotel on Water Street. There is a deli on the north side of the building, and a restaurant on the west side overlooking the Milwaukee river. This is a secretive bar visited by men of government and specifically spies. Walking up to the east side of the building, there is a stairway leading up to a very simple door. The characters would assume that it is just a warehouse door, except for the sign which says "International Exports" (the name of the cover-company James Bond worked for). There is the main bar, and the "American Bar" in the safehouse, along with a restaurant. Message tubes pass orders from the bars to the restaurant. The food is excellent, so popular the owners decided to open the deli on the north side of the building (which is an alternative entrance) which serves the same food during the day. There is a hologram "kissing booth" where a animated hologram woman blows a kiss for a quarter, an immense sliding wall puzzle in the restaurant, and a few other surprises. There is many exciting arcade games like Strategic Nuclear War, Star Wars, Spy Hunter, etc.. Waitresses tend to be in elaborate states of dress and undress. The specialty drink of the house is Spy's Demise. GMs are encourage to load up the Safehouse with spies and government men from television, movies, or the real world. 17. Three Rivers Stadium in Pittsburgh, PA (present, real world) The GM can make this any baseball stadium he desires. Three Rivers Stadium is used here because of Pittsburgh having the Iron City Brewery. The characters find themselves in the stadium. They can be in the stands, in the dugout, on the field. A great scenario is to have the characters appear in a vendor uniforms with coolers filled with Iron City beer. 18. Paul Masons Winery San Jose, CA (present, real world) Players get stuck in a tour group at the winery. During the tour they see modern wine making in action and then get sent to the wine tasting room for a little nip. 19. Cantina on the planet Tatooine (future, Star Wars) The characters have entered a bar in a galaxy, far, far away. They are in the bar made famous in the Star Wars movie. GM's can have the players enter the bar at the same time Ben Kanobi and Luke Skywalker are trying to get Han Solo to fly them off the planet OR the GM can have them appear at any time during the Star Wars Trilogy (or anytime during a Star Wars RPG campaign). Characters won't be out of place in a location filled with a multitude of strange races. They could mistake everything for some Spelljamming place (if familiar with spelljamming) until they see all the non-magical technology (laser guns, space ships, etc.). Great interaction can exist with interaction between the characters and the Star Wars personalities. Clever GMs can redo the Star Wars movies with the characters tagging along with Han and Luke. 20. Ten Forward on the Enterprise (future, Star Trek: The Next Generation) The characters find themselves in Ten Forward on the starship Enterprise. Unfortunately, the "Intruder Alert" alarm has been set off by the characters. At this time, the characters will surrounded by ship's security. Possibly, Guiana may realize that the characters are from another time and place (possibly another dimension) and will interrupt to save their hides. For high-level characters, the GM may want to have the Borg attacking the ship at the time of their arrival. 21. The Promenade on Deep Space 9 (future, Star Trek: Deep Space 9) The characters find themselves on the promenade of the Deep Space 9 space station. Quark, the local proprietor of Quark's Place in the Promenade, greets the characters and tries to sell them many goods and services. Visit the holo-sweet? Interact with the Starfleet officers? Maybe the borg are attacking the station? 22-25 Reroll Lohocla's Cloud of Alcohol (Evocation/Alteration) Level: 4 Range: 10 yards Components: V, S, M Duration: 1 round / level Casting Time: 4 Area of Effect: 5 cubic feet / level Save: None Another powerful offensive spell by Lohocla, this spell creates a vaporous cloud of pure alcohol. Hopefully, many mages will enjoy reeking havoc with the sweet aroma of this spell. This spell produces a cloud of alcohol that has a very faint blue tint to it. The cloud gives off a strong scent of alcohol. The cloud will move away from the caster at 10 ft. per round, rolling along the ground in the original direction dictated by the caster. A moderate breeze causes it to alter course (roll for direction), but it does not move back toward the caster. A strong wind breaks it up in four rounds, and a greater wind force prevents the use of the spell. Very thick vegetation will disperse the cloud in two rounds. As the vapors are heavier than air, they sink to the lowest level of the land, even pour down den or sinkhole openings. It cannot penetrate liquids, nor can it be cast underwater. For each round a creature is engulfed in the cloud, he must make a Constitution check. The check has a modifier relevant to the mage's level: Mage's Level Constitution Modifier 07-08 -04 09-10 -05 11-12 -06 13-14 -07 15-16 -08 17-18 -09 19-20 -10 A successful check indicates that the creature holds his breath for that round and does not succumb to the cloud's effects. A failed check indicates that the creature inhales a sufficient quantity of the gaseous vapors into the lungs. The effects of absorbing gaseous alcohol through the respiratory system rather than liquid alcohol through the digestive system is quite dangerous. A person affected by the cloud enters a state of great intoxication with all the effects that this entails. The affected person will remain intoxicated for 1d30 rounds after the duration of the spell. Once the intoxication ends, the victim will be returned to a normal state (i.e. does not have to slowly recover from the intoxication). The only possible reminder of the intoxication would be a hangover effect (as per the rules) if a save vs. poison is failed. If the cloud of alcohol comes in contact with a flame, it explodes. Anything in the cloud will suffer 2d10+10 points of burn damage. The explosion will reach out a number of feet equal to five times half the mage's level. Anything that is in the explosion area of effect will suffer 1d10+5 points of burn damage. For example, a 10th level mage casts the spell and creates a 50-cubic-foot cloud that comes in contact with a candle flame. Anything in the cloud will take 2d10+10 points of burn damage. The explosion will reach anything that is 25 feet away from the cloud which will suffer 1d10+5 points of burn damage. Unfortunately, the mage was within 10 feet of the cloud and suffers 8 points of damage. With regards to the fiery explosion, please note that flammable materials will continue to burn after the explosion takes place. At 10th level, a mage has the option of igniting the cloud. If the mage opts to do this, casting time is 6 rounds. Upon completion of casting the spell, the cloud will travel its course until the last round of the spell's duration. At this point, the cloud is ignited and explodes as described above. At the very low temperature of -170 degrees Fahrenheit, the cloud of alcohol will freeze solid. There will be few times that the mage would find himself in such a situation. However, the mage may find himself in a situation where the temperature drops to below 0 degrees Fahrenheit. In this case, the cloud of alcohol will begin to turn into liquid form. The spell is rendered virtually useless as far as it's combative intent goes. However, the cold liquid form of alcohol may serve a more important purpose. A lot of pure, smooth alcohol can be produced for consumption. This spell which seems to be nothing more than an offensive weapon could perhaps enable alcohol production in places where grain can't be grown or where fermentation is difficult due to weather/temperature. Thus, GM's may want to introduce this spell in an arctic climate as a creative way of producing alcohol. Then, a player may or may not learn of the spell's full offensive potential. Note that the cloud of alcohol disperse once the duration of the spell ends. However, any liquid or solid forms of the alcohol will permanently remain after the spell ends. The main material component is a finely-crafted glass snifter (a pear-shaped goblet with a narrow top) which remains after the spell is cast. Other material components, which are consumed when the spell is cast, are a pint of pure alcohol and a small ice cube. A mage using the ignition option must have a pinch of dung from a Milwaukee. Lohocla's "Shaken Not Stirred" (Alteration) Level: 4 Range: 0 Components: V, S, M Duration: 3 rounds + 1 round / level Casting Time: 6 Area of Effect: 1 creature and 25' foot diameter Save: Special This spell causes two unrelated effects. The first is a local tremor of low strength that rumbles the ground around the target. The shock lasts the duration of the spell. The small quake is dramatic and startling but does not cause any harm or ill effects. It is intended to mislead victims into thinking the spell affects multiple persons or a large area like the earthquake spell. The danger of the spell is the second effect that is directed towards only one person/creature. The target of the spell shakes violently for the duration of the spell. (Note that this affect is a separate action from the quake.) The shaking renders the victim immobile (i.e. no movement, no combat, etc.). If a person/creature touches the trembling victim at any time, then that person begins to shake as well for the remainder of the spell. A trembling person suffers 1d4 points of damage per round. During the last round, a trembling person must make a save. Failing the save causes the person to enter comatose state of intoxication for 1d6 hours. Recovery from this state is as stated in the rules. The main material component of this spell is a pint of a martini, a drink composed of gin (an alcoholic liquor distilled from grain and flavored with juniper berries), vodka (an alcoholic liquid distilled from fermented wheat or rye mash, corn, or potatoes), and dry vermouth (a white wine flavored with aromatic herbs). Other material components are one olive with a slice of pimento (a mild-flavored red pepper) in it, and the tail feather from a male chicken (a cocktail). All material components are consumed once the spell is cast. Lohocla's Mother-of-All-Burps (Alteration) Level: 5 Range: 0 Components: V, S Duration: Instantaneous Casting Time: 5 Area of Effect: 10' X 50' X 50' wedge Save: Special Another odd spell supposedly from Lohocla. Like the spell Lohocla's Deadly Bottle Rockets, this spell requires the caster to be intoxicated. Why the caster must be intoxicated is better understood with this spell given its effect, but it is still a strange requirement. In any case, Lohocla put much power in this spell in hopes that drunken mages can still kick some butt in bar-room brawls or anywhere else. An unusual (and disgusting) spell, this spell cannot be cast unless the caster is under the influence of alcohol (i.e. in a state of slight, moderate, or great intoxication). Of course, the mage generally doesn't go adventuring while drunk, so this becomes a big hindrance if not useless unless the mage is an alcoholic. On the other hand, it can be a real benefit when the mage goes to a place knowing full well that he will become intoxicated. Mainly, because the % of spell failure does not exist in the case of this spell (note that the chance of spell failure is still there for all other spells). This becomes very valuable because the mage can get intoxicated, with all the problems it entails, and always have a memorized spell that will work (especially when greatly intoxicated when the % chance of spell failure is 100%). The burp is in the form of a strong fan-shaped puff of nauseous vapors (described later) originates from the mage's mouth and moves in the direction he is facing. The force of this gust of wind (about 30 m.p.h.) is sufficient to extinguish candles, torches, and similar unprotected flames. It causes protected flames -such as those of lanterns- to dance widely and has a 5% chance per level of experience of the caster to extinguish even such lights. It also fans large fires outward 1d6 feet in the direction of the wind's movement. It forces back small flying creatures 1d6 X 10 yards and causes man-sized beings to be held motionless if attempting to move against its force. It slows larger-than-man-sized flying creatures by 50% for one round. It blows over light objects, disperses most vapors, and forces away gaseous or unsecured levitating creatures. The burp doesn't have a nice fresh air scent. Instead, it contains nauseous vapors. Any creature caught within the wedge must roll a successful save vs. poison or be reeling and unable to attack because of the nausea for 1d10 rounds. Those who make a successful save are not effected. Anybody caught in the wedge of wind may become deaf because of the burp. A person becomes totally deaf and unable to hear any sounds. The victim is allowed a save vs. spell. An affected creature has a-1 penalty to its surprise rolls unless its other senses are unusually keen. Deafened spellcasters have a 20% chance to miscast any spell with a verbal component. Nonmagical objects of crystal, glass, ceramic, or porcelain, such as vials, bottles, flasks, jugs, windows, mirrors, etc. caught in the burp's force are smashed into a dozens of pieces. Objects weighing more than one pound per level of the caster are not affected, but all other objects of the appropriate composition must save vs. crushing blow or be shattered. Crystalline creatures usually suffer 1d6 points of damage per caster level to a max. of 6d6, with a save vs. spell for half damage. Don't forgot to say "Excuse me" after the spell is over. -----------------------------------------------------------------------