GETTING TO KNOW YOUR BOOZE The cheapness of wine seems to be a cause, not of drunkenness, but of sobriety. --- Adam Smith I rather like the bad wine, one gets so bored with the good. --- Mr. Mountchesney The best wine comes out of an old vessel. --- Robert Burton So shall thy barns be filled with plenty, and thy presses shall burst out with new wine. --- Proverbs 3:10 There comes a time in an adventurer's life when he purchases, finds, is offered, loots, or steals some form of alcoholic beverage. Unfortunately, the description is boring and makes the substance as common as water. In actuality, alcohol comes in many forms from many places and is made by many people. To illustrate this diversity, the GM can follow the below steps to give his alcohol a kick. The GM does not have to obey the rolls. He may change what information he once, how he wants. The steps and charts are only guidelines to assist a GM in flavoring a campaign with a belt of some juice. STEPS 1. Roll on table 1 to decide the type of alcohol. 2. Roll on the appropriate Made-By Table to decide who made the beverage. If HUMANOID is rolled then roll on table 2F to decide what creature did make it. If SPECIAL is rolled the GM must choose; preferably an intriguing, exciting, and unique race. 3. If the alcohol is beer, then roll on table 3 to decide what type of beer it is. If the alcohol is wine, then roll on table 4 to decide what type of wine. For light wine, roll on table 4A, 4B, and 4C to decide what the color, taste, and flavor of the wine is. No sub-tables are provided for fortified, sparkling, and aromatized wines. Most specifics on these types of wines are named after real-world geographical locations and would take away from the fantasy world. For example, Sparkling wines could be broken down to Champagne, Astispumante, Burgundy, Moselle, Saumur, and Catawba (to name a few). But these are named for geographic locations on Earth. If GMs wish to have drinks like these in their campaign, they should name it after a place and then give a description of the drink to the players using the real world counterpart. If the alcohol is liquor, then roll on table 5 to decide what type of liquor it is. If the liquor is brandy, roll on table 5C to decide what type of brandy it is. If the liquor is whiskey, flip a coin to decide if the whiskey is straight or blended. If the liquor is coridial, the GM should decide what flavored this spirit because the options are limitless. 4. Roll on table 6 to decide the quality of the beverage. Price is fixed to quality. Suggested prices aren't given because they will vary in different societies and civilizations. Thus, the GM should decide the price for a normal drink. A multiplier is given due to quality to adjusted the price of equal worth. By doing so, it would be easy to figure the price for almost any size of container. For example, if a gallon of normal wine sells for 20 silver pieces; then a gallon of excellent wine would sell for 2000 silver pieces (20 SP * 100). Thus, any size container can be determined for a particular alcoholic drink. One could also figure out what a small bottle (.5 gal.), or flask, of alcohol would cost from any size. If a large casket of wine cost 1000 silver pieces; then a small bottle of the same wine would cost 62.50 silver pieces, a large bottle would be 125 silver pieces, etc.. 5. If a human made the alcohol, roll on table 7 to decide where the it came from. If a race other than human made the alcohol, roll on table 8 to decide where it came from. NOTE: These tables must be created by the GM to suit his/her particular campaign world. The race tables in the World of Greyhawk books work very nicely for that world. 7. Table 9 is optional in deciding the container size. It is recommended that you decide what the size is because size is depend on the environment. For example, if an adventurer walks into a bar, chances are there are no tuns of wine for sale but a large bottle is readily available. TABLE 1: Type Of Alcohol 01-20 Beer 21-40 Ale 41-60 Mead 61-80 Wine 81-00 Liquor MADE-BY TABLES TABLE 2A: Beer Made By 01-40 Human 41-65 Dwarf 66-75 Humanoid 76-85 Halfling 86-95 Gnome 96-99 Elf 00 Special TABLE 2B: Ale Made By 01-40 Dwarf 41-65 Gnome 66-75 Halfling 76-85 Human 86-95 Elf 96-99 Humanoid 00 Special TABLE 2C: Mead Made By 01-40 Elf 41-65 Human 66-75 Halfling 76-85 Gnome 86-95 Dwarf 96-99 Humanoid 00 Special TABLE 2D: Wine Made By 01-40 Elf 41-65 Human 66-75 Halfling 76-85 Gnome 86-95 Dwarf 96-99 Humanoid 00 Special TABLE 2E: Liquor Made By 01-40 Humanoid 41-65 Human 66-75 Dwarf 76-85 Gnome 86-95 Halfling 96-99 Elf 00 Special SUB-TABLE 2F: Humanoid 01-10 Bugbear 11-20 Gnoll 21-30 Goblin 31-40 Giant 41-50 Half-orc 51-60 Hobgoblin 61-70 Lizard Man 71-80 Ogre 81-90 Orc 91-00 Troll SPECIFIC TABLES TABLE 3: Type of Beer ROLL TYPE DESCRIPTION 01-20 Lager pale, medium-hop-flavored beer 21-40 Bock heavy, rich, dark-brown beer 41-60 Stout very dark beer 61-80 Porter mixture of ale and beer 81-00 Malt Liquor fruity, spicy, highly-alcoholic beer TABLE 4: Type of Wine 01-39 Light 40-59 Fortified 60-79 Sparkling 80-00 Aromatized TABLE 4A: Color of Wine 01-33 Red 34-67 White 68-00 Rose TABLE 4B: Taste of Wine 01-40 Sweet 41-75 Medium 76-00 Dry TABLE 4C: Flavor of Wine 01-03 Apple 04-06 Apricot 07-09 Ashberry 10-12 Banana 13-15 Blackberry 16-18 Blueberry 19-21 Cantaloupe 22-24 Cherry 25-27 Cranberry 28-30 Dandelion 31-33 Date 34-36 Elderberry 37-39 Elfberry 40-42 Fig 43-45 Grape, blue 46-48 Grape, green 49-51 Grape, red 52-54 Grape, purple 55-57 Grape, white 58-60 Potato 61-63 Peach 64-66 Pear 67-69 Plum 70-72 Prune 73-75 Raspberry 76-78 Strawberry 79-81 Watermelon 82-84 Wildberry 85-00 choose (preferably a grape type) TABLE 5: Type of Liquor 01-20 Brandy 21-40 Whiskey 41-60 Rum 61-80 Gin 81-00 Cordial (Liqueur) TABLE 5A: Type of Brandy 01-19 Cognac 20-29 Armagnac 30-39 Apple Jack 40-49 Kirsch (Cherry) 50-59 Mirabelle (Plum) 60-69 Slivovitz 70-74 Absinthe 75-79 Benedictine 80-00 ROLL ON TABLE 4C for the flavor of the brandy TABLE 6: Quality ROLL TYPE PRICE MULTIPLIER 01-05 Terrible .01 06-15 Very Poor .1 16-35 Poor .5 36-65 Normal 1 66-85 Good 10 86-95 Very Good 50 96-00 Excellent 100 TABLE 9: Size of Container Bottle, small .5 gallon Bottle, large 1 gallon Jug, small 2 gallons Jug, large 3 gallons Casket, small 4 gallons Keg 5 gallons Casket medium 6 gallons Casket, large 8 gallons Barrel, small 16 gallons Barrel, medium 24 gallons Barrel, large 32 gallons Tun 250 gallons ----------------------------------------------------------------------- SPELLS WITH A TWIST OF LIME Brave men and good wine last a short time! --- Anon ------------------------------------ Mages Cantrip Ferment Grape Know Vintage Know Quality Level 1 Alter Taste Analyze Drink Cure Hangover Intoxicate Morrison's Next Whiskey Bar Simple Distillation Level 2 Bucca's Noxious Exhalation Continual Drunkenness Create Alcohol Sidney's Excellent Alcohol Sidney's Flash Fermentation Level 3 Gorann's Rapid Intoxication Leomund's Tiny Tavern Mask Inebriation Niiraloth's Random Sobriety Level 4 Become Phantasmal Lover Ni-Gar's Panty Peeler Level 5 Cloud of Intoxication Malar's Alcohol Detonation Transmute Matter To Alcohol Level 9 Cloud of Great Intoxication FAE Clerics Level 1 Speak with the Intoxicated Level 2 Create Alcohol (see mage spell) Cure Drunkenness Lower Alcohol Addiction Resist Intoxication Speed Fermentation Level 4 Protection from Intoxication Level 6 Transmute Water to Wine Zone of Tolerance ------------------------------------ Mages Ferment Grape (Evocation) Level: Cantrip Type: Useful Range: Touch Components: S Duration: Permanent Casting Time: 1/2 segment Area of Effect: 1 grape Save: None By use of this spell an apprentice can convert the contents of a grape into fermented wine. It will not change the skin of the grape so it will keep its shape. Used by apprentices tired of the same old food from a teacher who do not approve of alcohol. Could also be good in an emergency for use against alcohol sensitive monsters. Know Vintage (Divination) Level: Cantrip Type: Useful Range: Touch Components: S, M Duration: Permanent Casting Time: 1/2 segment Area of Effect: Equivalent of one bottle or less Save: None By use of this spell an apprentice or wizard is able to tell what vintage (year) of one bottle of wine/champagne. It is also possible to tell, with a 10% chance of failure, the vineyard or winery where the wine came from. This spell is very useful for those who are not sure about a particular bottle of wine. A small drop of wine from the bottle is necessary to cast the spell. Know Quality (Divination) Level: Cantrip Type: Useful Range: Touch Components: S, M Duration: Permanent Casting Time: 1/2 segment Area of Effect: Equivalent of one bottle or less Save: None By casting this spell an apprentice or wizard is able to tell what quality of wine/champagne he/she is drinking. This spell will let the caster know by quickly flashing a color, on the surface of the drink, corresponding to the level of quality. It will also warn of possible poison or spoilage. The color black means pour or bad quality. The color blue means god or average quality. A light blue means very good and white means excellent. If the flash is black and red, look for possible poisons. This spell was developed by apprentices who were tired of getting pour quality wines with dinner. They also didn't want to keep being ripped off in pubs. Alter Taste (Alteration) Reversible Level: 1 Range: Touch Components: S Duration: 1 turn / level Casting Time: 1 Area of Effect: 1 pint / level Save: None This spell allows the mage to give an alcoholic flavor (taste) to any liquid. It does not turn the liquid to alcohol. It merely gives it the taste of beer, ale, wine, mead, or liquor. Also, it only changes the flavor and not its appearance. Now a mage can buy a glass of water (cheap), cast this spell, and enjoy an alcohol flavored drink without suffering the negative effects of swigging the real thing. A mage could also improve the flavor of a drink. For example, cheap beer can now taste like elegant wine, but the alcohol level is that of beer. A bad-tasting potion can now taste quite nice as well. The flavor (cider, ale, wine, etc.) is chosen by the caster. However, there is always a 100 - 10 per level percent chance of the spell screwing up. In this case the GM chooses the taste. Note that since the component is only somatic the spell can be cast easily unnoticed. The reverse of this spell allows the caster to remove the alcoholic flavor of a drink, but without removing the alcohol itself. It can also be used to restore it's normal taste to a previously altered drink. Analyze Drink (Divination) Level: 1 Range: Touch Components: S Duration: Instantaneous Casting Time: 3 Area of Effect: 1 drink Save: None This spell requires the caster to sip a drink of any sort. The spell will then analyze all the components of the drink and make them known to the caster. The various liquids which make up the drink are revealed specifically, as well as the proportions in which they are extant. Specific brews, vintages, or brands (if applicable) are known exactly, and any dilution of the drink with water is also revealed. Since the casting requires actually tasting the drink, it is not really useful in safely identifying poisons (although the caster will instantly know what kind of poison that just hit him!). Cure Hangover (Abjuration) Reversible Level: 1 Range: Touch Components: V, S Duration: Special Casting Time: 1 Area of Effect: 1 creature Save: None This spell enables the wizard to relieve a person of intoxication. Once cast a person does not need to recover from intoxication or suffer the effects of recovery. Note: It may be difficult for wizards to cast this cantrip upon himself if intoxicated given the chance for spell failure. The reverse of this spell is Cause Hangover. The mage must make a successful attack roll to touch a person in combat. If successful, the victim gets a hangover. Roll on Table 1, Hangover Effects Table, to get the effects of the hangover. Intoxicate (Enchantment) Reversible Level: 1 Range: 100 feet Components: V, S, M Duration: special Casting Time: 1 Area of Effect: 1 creature Save: Neg. This spell allows the mage to increase a person's intoxication state by one. Thus, a sober person would become slightly intoxicated, a moderately intoxicated person would become greatly intoxicated, and so on. The reverse of this spell will decrease a person's intoxication state by one. The material component is a pint of pure alcohol. Morrison's Next Whiskey Bar (or Tavern Locator) (Divination) Level: 1 Range: 1 mile per level Components: V, S Duration: Instantaneous Casting Time: 5 Area of Effect: Special Save: None This spell is used by a mage who is looking for a good place to have a blast and get blasted. The spell seeks out all establishments within range and instantly gives the caster a mental impression of the best place, with regards to its location, name, general appearance, and taste of the mage. The spell determines which is the "best" location by considering the following factors, in descending order of importance: strength and quality of drinks served, wildness factor, size of bar, and inexpensiveness. If there is no such location (at all) within spell range, the caster must save vs. death magic or fall into a 1d4 round coma, and emerges from it weeping but unharmed. Simple Distillation (Alteration) Level: 1 Range: Touch Components: V Duration: Permanent Casting Time: 1 Area of Effect: 5 gallons per level Save: None No material components. No somatic gestures. Just a complicated guttural verbal component. Many mages have tried to reduce this spell a cantrip. However, it doesn't seem to be possible to reduce the verbal component enough to do this. Perhaps adding a small somatic gesture? Each casting halves the volume and effectively doubles the percent alcohol in the liquid it is cast upon. The catch is that the water goes first. Thus, if beer containing 10% alcohol is placed in the pot, then it will loose half its volume, but will now contain 20% alcohol. When all the water is gone, some other liquid (juice, etc.) has to go next, GM's choice. Effects are similar to Darkblood's Travel Size Distillery. In fact, this is the spell Darkblood used in creating his distillery. This spell has no effect on any living being... except perhaps water elementals. This is up to the GM. For example, the water elemental must save vs. spell or lose half remaining hit points when struck by this spell. Save indicates half damage or loss of fourth of the remaining hit points. This is visibly a very powerful spell vs. water elementals, but how many times does one see water elementals? If this is a problem than simply rule it doesn't effect water elemental either, or lower the damage it causes. Bucca's Noxious Exhalation (Alteration) Level: 2 Range: 25' Components: V, S, M Duration: 1 turn / level Casting Time: 4 Area of Effect: Cloud 10' radius Save: Special As a mage who enjoyed fermenting his own brews, Bucca was totally unaware of the odor of his own creations. Sam, as he was known to his friends, grew tired of complaints from his friends about the rank smell of his breath after taste testing his own brews. He designed this spell (popularly known as Bucca's Beery Breath) to make use of his foul exhalations, in the hope that his friends would stop complaining. In the casting of this spell, the mage must consume at least 100 milliliters of an alcoholic beverage, the potency of which determines the efficiency of the spell (see below). In addition to drinking the alcohol, the caster leans forward and belches loudly and from his mouth issues a stream of putrid breath, which expands to fill a cloud of 10' radius. all within the cloud must make a save vs. breath weapons or suffer 2d4 points of damage (1d4 if saved) and the special effects listed below (or none if the save is made). The cloud swiftly dissipates, and is gone within four segments of its creation. All effects of the spell including drunkenness pass within 1 hour. Potency Saving Level Type Throw Special Effects 1 diluted beers, etc. +5 stinging eyes, coughing 2 ales, white wines +1 retching 3 red wines, cocktails 0 disorientation, 1-3 rounds 4 spirits -1 slight drunkenness 5 liquors -2 Sickness, mild drunkenness 6 magical brews -4 Sever drunkenness -> comatose Stinging eyes, coughing has little effect beyond -3 to missile fire. Retching means that any characters affected are delayed in attacking for 1-6 segments. Disorientation indicates the onset of drunkenness, if the character is left alone at the end of the period of drunkenness he will resume previous activities, if attacked, the character may respond in kind, with -1 to attack rolls. Slight drunkenness means that the character is confused, no dextrous activities allowed, and -2 to attack rolls. Sickness and mild drunkenness indicates that the character will not want to eat or drink for 1d12 hours, -2 to attack rolls, and -1 damage. Severe drunkenness denotes that the character is totally befuddled, -5 attack rolls, -3 damage, and he can barely walk in a straight line. Note that the effects of drunkenness are different then those in the Alcohol Guide rules. Because the effects are caused by magic, the effects are based on the Bucca's interpretation of alcohol and what he wants the spell to accomplish. Continual Drunkenness (Alteration, Enchantment) Level: 1 Range: 1" Components: V, S, M Duration: Indefinite Casting Time: 1 Area of Effect: 1 creature Save: Special This spell can be directed at any creature who looks the caster in the eyes; only one being can be affected per casting of the spell. The caster's eyes look watery and swirly at the completion of the casting, at which time the gaze can be used. The creature gets a save vs. poison at -3 to escape the effects, and in that case the spell is not dissipated, rather, it remains active until one creature is affected. A creature failing its save is made mystically drunk, and will remain so indefinitely; an analysis of the being's aura or any magic designed to detect charms will reveal the spell's existence. The clerical spell cure drunkenness will negate it for as many turns as the casting cleric has levels, but after this time, the effect will return. The creature's level of inebriation is determined by the caster's level: Level of Caster Degree of Drunkenness 3rd - 5th Slight 6th - 9th Moderate 10th and up Great A mirror or gaze reflection spell may be able to make the spell backfire on the caster; in this case, the degree of mystical drunkenness will be one less than normal. For example, if the 10th level wizard Farsharn has the spell reflected upon himself by Rath's nimble application of a mirror, then Farsharn will not be "Great"ly drunk, but only "Moderate"ly so. If this would reduce it below Slight, then do not reduce it; it will always have at least Slight effects. To rid oneself of these effects, a successful dispel magic or remove curse will be effective. The material component of this spell is a serving of liquor that is consumed by the mage during casting. Create Alcohol (Alteration) Reversible Level: 2 Range: Touch Components: V, S Duration: 1 turn / level Casting Time: 2 Area of Effect: 1 pint / level Save: None This spell alters the taste AND creates alcohol content into any liquid. Like the Alter Self, the caster chooses the taste of the alcohol to be created. With this spell, the mage also chooses the alcohol content of the liquid (equal to beer, ale, wine, mead, or liquor). There is always a 100 - 10 per level percent chance of the spell screwing up. In this case the GM chooses the taste. Since alcohol really creates the appearance of drinks, at least partially, then the appearance of the transformed liquid will appear somewhat the same. Changing beer to wine looks more like wine, but it may still be a little bit frothy. The reverse of this spell removes or lower the quantity of alcohol and its taste in the drink. Sidney's Excellent Alcohol (Conjuration) Level: 2 Range: 10 feet Components: V, S, M Duration: 1 turn / level Casting Time: 2 Area of Effect: .5 pint / level Save: None This spell allows the caster to magically summon alcohol of any sort, within the caster's tasting experience (i.e. the caster must have sampled the alcohol beverage previously in his life). The tankard or whatever container is used becomes full of the desired beverage. One material component of the spell is the container (obviously) of no less than 100 silver pieces in price which is not consumed. The other material component is pinch of hops or a few grapes. Sidney's was a particularly alcoholic mage who unfortunately could no longer cast the spell because of the verbal components that were impossible to speak in his constant drunken state. Sidney's Flash Fermentation (Alteration) Level: 2 Range: 15 feet Components: V, S, M Duration: Permanent Casting Time: 5 Area of Effect: .5 pint / level Save: None This spell is a simple spell which speeds up the normal fermentation times for alcohol manufacture. The mage can speed up fermentation a maximum of 3 years per level of the caster, thus to instantly have a truly fine aged wine the mage must be of fairly high level. If the mage knows how long fermentation normally takes (through research or just being an alcoholic), he can cast this spell with automatic success, the alcohol is ready to be consumed. If the mage doesn't know how long it should ferment, then it is guesswork. The GM then decides whether the brew is underdone or overdone (e.g. juice or vinegar). Material component is a sprinkle of hops. This spell was originally researched by an alcoholic mage who was sick of having to wait the years needed to produce a fine wine. A more powerful version of the spell is currently being researched in order to make wines of the magnitude of thousands of years fermentation, but Sidney is having trouble with some of the material components (a wine mug and pitcher from the Halls of Valhalla). Gorann's Rapid Intoxication (Alteration) Level: 3 Range: Touch Components: V, S Duration: Special Casting Time: 1 Area of Effect: 1 creature Save: Negates This spell causes one creature touched during the spell's casting to instantly fail Constitution checks for intoxication during the next 12 hours. A creature in this state will become rapidly drunk no matter what strength of alcohol they are drinking. The victim is generally not aware of the spell's existence on their person, and may be puzzled by their lack of tolerance. The somatic component is a friendly pat on the back, and the verbal component is a cheery "Drink up!" Leomund's Tiny Tavern (Alteration) Level: 3 Range: 0 Components: V, S, M Duration: 5 hours + 1 hour/level Casting time: 3 Area of Effect: 20-foot-diameter sphere Save: None A spell similar to Leomund's Tiny Hut, this spell was probably not made by Leomund. Speculation gives credit to one of Leomund's apprentices. In any case, this is a weaker spell with extra niceties. Another strange relative to this spell is its sister spell Leomund's Tiny Brothel (definitely not from Leomund, thus adding evidence to the originals of these copies). When this spell is cast, the wizard creates an unmoving, opaque, sound-proof, sphere of force of any desired color around his person. Up to 6 other man-sized creatures can fit into the field with its creator, and these can freely pass into and out of the tavern without harming it, but if the spellcaster removes himself from it, the spell dissipate. The temperature inside the tavern is a cool 60 degrees Fahrenheit, if the exterior temperature is between 0 and 100 degrees. An exterior temperature below 0 and above 100 lowers or raises, respectively, the interior temperature on a 1 degree-for-1 degree basis. The tiny tavern also provides protection against the elements, such as rain, dust, sandstorms, and the like. The tavern can withstand any wind of less than hurricane force without being harmed, but wind force greater than that destroys it. The interior of the tavern is a hemisphere; the spellcaster can illuminate it dimly upon command, or extinguish the light as desired. A sturdy wooden table and seven chairs sits in the center of the tavern. On the table sits three bowls. One contains pretzels, one contains potato chips, and one contains peanuts. The bowls magically fill themselves of the snacks. Along side the table is a chest filled with a never ending supply of ice and bottles of alcohol. The type of alcohol is dependent of the mage's wishes. Each bottle may contain a different type of alcohol but no alcohol may be better than normal in quality. An illusion of a lovely, big-breasted, blonde wench will mingle around the tavern and serve the occupants needs. Note that although the force field is opaque from the outside, it is transparent from within. Missiles, weapons, and most spell effects can pass through the tavern without affecting it, although the occupants cannot be seen from outside the tavern. The tavern can be dispelled. The material component for this spell is a small crystal bead that shatters when the spell duration expires or the tavern is dispelled, a glass bottle, and an oak stick (at least one foot long). Mask Inebriation (Illusion) Reversible Level: 3 Range: Touch Components: V, S Duration: 3d6 turns Casting Time: 1 round Area of Effect: 1 creature Save: Special This spell creates a shell of illusion focused upon one drunken (but conscious) creature. Its purpose is to cause all observers to look upon the affected creature as entirely sober. It insidiously affects their perceptions so that they will interpret the person's actions and statements as those of a rational, sober individual. Any slurring of the speech, inconsistencies in statements, wobbling, or weaving will be overlooked or ascribed to some other factor. True seeing or other means of bypassing illusions are effective in countering this spell. The reverse, Unbelievable Sobriety, will convince observers that a sober creature is hopelessly drunk, and works on their perceptions in similar (but opposite) ways. In all other respects it is as the former application. Niiraloth's Random Sobriety (Alteration, Wild Magic) Level: 3 Range: 0 Components: V, S, M Duration: 1d4 x 100 rounds Casting Time: 3 Area of Effect: The caster Save: None This spell is unusual even for a wild magic dweomer, and is cast by taking a huge swig of liquor after saying the magic words. It causes a strange type of drunkenness to overwhelm the caster. The mage's state of intoxication is randomly determined every round, as per the table below: d100 Roll Intoxication Level 01-25 Sober (normal) 26-50 Slight (2 x effects) 51-75 Moderate (3 x effects) 76-95 Great (4 x effects) 96-00 Incoherent (casting impossible) Note that the % chance of spell failure inherent to these states of drunkenness is changed by the spell's magic to mean "% chance of Wild Surge" instead. Spells which surge because of the random sobriety will have enhanced effects as noted above. A mage who is Sober will act and cast normally that round. A mage in Slight intoxication will have a 25% chance of surging any spell, but suffers all other side effects of drunkenness. Moderate intoxication means a 50% chance of surging, with other side effects retained. Great intoxication will cause all spells cast to surge (rather than making casting impossible), but has severe side effects otherwise. Incoherent means that the mage is in danger of passing out--if this is rolled twice in a row, then the mage will fall unconscious for 1d4 rounds. A side benefit of this spell is that the mage has a % chance equal to the chance of surging to be able to escape (usually by stumbling, otherwise by colorful chaos-interference) any negative side effects of their wild surges during that round. Also, Nahal's Reckless Dweomer has triple chance to cast the desired spell normally during this spell's effect. Become Phantasmal Lover (Illusion/Phantasm) Level: 4 Range: 5 yards /level Components: V, S, M Duration: Until the next morning Casting Time: As long as it takes (see below) Area of Effect: 1 creature Save: Special When this spell is cast, the wizard causes his features to shift in the mind of his victim to conform to those of an individual that the victim considers to the ultimate lover. Once the spell is successfully cast (and the save varies according to the amount of preparation in casting the spell), the recipient will be putty in the hands of the caster, not out of enchantment but only out of the recipient's own sense of wish-fulfillment. This spell takes as much time to cast as it takes to get the recipient drunk. The more thoroughly tanked the recipient gets, the worse will be the save: had a serving of alcohol -1 Slightly intoxicated -2 Moderately intoxicated -4 Greatly intoxicated -8 The material component of this spell is large quantities of alcohol, which must be passed through the gullet of the recipient. Ni-Gar's Panty Peeler (Enchantment) Level: 4 Range: Touch Components: S, M Duration: Special Casting Time: 1 Area of Effect: 1 humanoid via an alcoholic drink Save: None This enchantment is unusual because it is not cast directly at it victim, but is cast upon a medium of transferral. The spell can only be cast upon a prepared alcoholic drink (the mixing or pouring of which is the somatic component), not on an entire flask, bottle or keg of alcohol. The spell recipient is defined as one who offers the enspelled drink to another person. The recipient does not necessarily need to know of the drink's enchanted status, but to benefit from the enchantment, must offer it verbally to another creature, who is the target of the spell. If the target accepts the drink and imbibes even a sip, the spell is activated and the target is instantly affected. The victim receives no save if they accept the drink, and forcing a being to drink will negate the magic. A person affected by the spell is then subject to a specialized charm, which persuades them to willingly and enthusiastically submit to the recipient's romantic and/or sexual overtures. The charm lasts for exactly 24 hours, after which time the victim is free to react normally to the recipient, and will believe that any actions made while the charm was in effect were made freely. The victim must be of a sexual orientation which is compatible with the spell recipient. Cloud of Intoxication (Evocation/Alteration) Level: 5 Range: 10 yards Components: V, M, S Duration: 1 round / level Casting Time: 5 Segments Area of Effect: 16 foot-cube Save: None This spell is similar to the spell Cloudkill of the same level. This spell will create a large rose and white flowing and churning cloud. The cloud will move away from the caster at 10 ft. per round, rolling along the ground in the original direction dictated by the caster. A wind might change the direction of the cloud. A strong wind will disperse the cloud in two or three rounds. A very strong wind will disperse the cloud immediately. Heavy vegetation will slow the cloud to one half speed and cause it to disperse after two rounds. All creatures enveloped by the cloud must be compared to their hit dice or class level to see the effect the cloud has on the creature or character. A creature with 3+1 hit dice will immediately become Greatly intoxicated. All creatures from 4+1 to 6+1 hit dice will become Moderately intoxicated and all creatures of 7+1 and greater hit dice will become Slightly intoxicated. Any creature over 11+1 hit dice or higher must save vs. poison, with no penalty to avoid becoming Slightly intoxicated. Each round spent in the cloud increases the chance of high and medium hit dice creatures to become more intoxicated and Greatly intoxicated creatures to become comatose. For each round spent in the cloud a creature must save vs. poison or reach the next higher level of intoxication. For each round spent in the cloud beyond four any creature or character must save at a cumulative -1 per round. There are no racial or weight modifiers for to this spell. Please see the section on intoxication to see the effects of intoxication and it is recommended that GM's use the Optional Drunk Disposition Rule for cases of Great Intoxication. The effects of this spell are such that it will extend the time needed to recover from a state of intoxication. For someone who became Comatose add 5 hours to the recovery time. For Great intoxication add 4 hours. For Moderate intoxication add 3 hours and for Slight intoxication add 2 hours to the recovery time. Using stimulants to speed recovery is reduced by one half effectiveness unless magical Stimulants are used. The spell also extends the time needed to recover from a hangover by 1d4 hours. Obviously this spell becomes more potent the higher the level of the caster. Since more people or monster could be trapped and possibly made comatose by the spell. The material components for this spell are some dried grape skins from an exceptional vintage or a sprinkling of the best hops. Malar's Alcohol Detonation (Alteration, Evocation) Level: 5 Range: 6" Components: V, S Duration: Instantaneous Casting Time: 5 Area of Effect: Special Save: Special This rather mean-spirited spell causes alcoholic beverages within the area of effect to detonate violently. Such fluids which are already within a being's system are immune to this effect, but a drink being held to one's mouth at the time of detonation will still explode. The mage designates a spherical area of effect somewhere within range as his target (with a maximum radius of 3", and a minimum radius of 1/2 foot). All such beverages within this area will then immediately blow up. Damage caused and blast radius by drink and quantity are detailed below: Quantity Present Drink Type 1 cup 1 bottle 1 keg Barrel or larger Beer 1d3, 1/2" 1d4, 1" 1d4, 2" 2d4, 4" Ale 1d4, 1" 1d4, 2" 1d6, 3" 3d4, 4" Wine 1d4, 1" 2d4, 2" 2d4, 3" 2d6, 4" Mead 1d6, 2" 2d6, 3" 4d4, 4" 3d8, 5" Liquor 1d10, 2" 3d6, 4" 2d12, 5" 5d8, 6" Amounts of damage are added, and blast radius is determined by using the greater radius. For example, if the spell were directed at a table on which sat three glasses of wine and a bottle of whiskey, then the blast radius would be 4" and the damage caused would be 3d4 + 3d6. A liquor cabinet or wine cellar has the potential for much destruction with this spell. Beings within the blast radius may make a save vs. spell to take only half damage, UNLESS they were drinking from an exploding liquid at the time, in which case they must save or take double damage (double from that explosion only). The explosion may cause incidental fires, and tends to leave rays of black carbonization behind on materials within the radius. Transmute Matter To Alcohol (Alteration) Reversible Level: 5 Range: 10 yards Components: V, S, M Duration: Permanent Casting Time: 2 Area of Effect: 1 object Save: None This spell turns any non-organic object into alcohol. The object must be at least 10 yards away and in sight. It will turn into the most common form of alcohol that is in the player's campaign world. Thus if beer is the most prevalent form of alcohol, the object turns to beer. Objects can be turned back with the reverse of this spell, but all of the liquid must be contained together. After chanting and using motions involving thinking and pointing at the object to be turned, the caster throws the material components (a drop of 100% alcohol in a crystal casing and a small wooden carving of the object [very simple]) at the object, which always magically hits the object. Any object that is turned can be drunk, and once inside turned back. The reverse, when used on normal alcohol, can summon very strange objects. The GM can decide on what object, or roll on the Magical Item chart to see what it is. (if this is used then it only LOOKS like the magical item rolled). Cloud of Great Intoxication (Evocation/Alteration) Level: 9 Range: 100 yards Components: V, M, S Duration: 2 Turns / level Casting Time: 1 round Area of Effect: 60 foot-cube Save: None This spell is similar to the fifth level spell Cloudkill. This spell will create a large blue and pink billowing and churning cloud. The cloud will move away from the caster at 10 ft. per round. The cloud will move along the ground at the casters direction. A light wind will not affect the movement of the cloud as long as the magic-users is concentrating on the spell. A med. strength wind will slow or change the direction of the cloud no more than one foot per round in any direction as long as the magic-user concentrates on the spell. A strong wind will disperse the cloud after 5 rounds, unless the caster makes a successful check vs. Int. to keep the cloud together and under control. A very strong wind will disperse the cloud after 2 rounds, but if a save is made the cloud remains but the caster can not control the spell for that round. The caster will be spending all his/her concentration on keeping the spell active. Heavy vegetation will slow the cloud to one half speed and but will not cause it to disperse. All creatures enveloped by the cloud will be affected. All such creatures will be put into an alcoholic coma unless they make a save vs. poison. A successful save means that the creature will become Greatly intoxicated. Any creature over 10+1 hit dice or higher will save vs. poison at +2. Each round spent in the cloud increases the chance of becoming intoxicated by the cloud. For each round spent in the cloud a creature must save vs. poison or become comatose. For each round spent in the cloud beyond two any creature or character must save at a cumulative -1 per round and after four rounds magic resistance will be reduced by 5% per round spent enveloped by the cloud. The power of this spell is such that even creatures or persons immune to the effects of alcohol, magical or otherwise, will be affected by this spell after five rounds. There are no racial or weight modifiers to this spell. Please see the section on intoxication to see the effects of intoxication and it is recommended that GM's use the Optional Drunk Disposition Rule for cases of Great Intoxication. The effects of this spell are such that it will extend the time needed to recover from a state of intoxication. For someone who became Comatose add 10 hours to the recovery time. Once the state of Great intoxication has been reached it will take an additional 6 hours to recover. Once someone has moved to Moderate intoxication it will take an additional 5 hours to reach a state of Slight intoxication. It will take an extra 2 hours to return to normal. Using stimulants to speed recovery is possible but if the constitution check is failed add another thirty minutes to the recover time of to this stage of intoxication. Magical stimulants can be used with no ill effect. The spell also extends the time needed to recover from a hangover by 2d6 hours and makes the effect of the hangover twice as severe. Obviously this is a potent spell which in the right hands could waylay a small army. The GM must be wary of how this potent magic is used. The material components for this spell are some dried grape skins or a sprinkling of the best hops, both must come from a once in a century harvest. The second and most important component of this spell is the blue breath of a content Alcohol Dragon, without which this spell will not work. FAE (Evocation) Level: 9 Range: 1000 feet / level Components: V, S, M Duration: Instantaneous Casting Time: 2 turns Area of Effect: 200 feet/level radius Save: Special FAE is a strategic, not tactical spell. Notice that most offensive (and defensive for that matter) spells are tactical in nature. Attacks that affect a few people are classified tactical, while large-scale attacks (i.e. affecting a whole town or city) are strategic spells. To understand this spell, one must first take a look at the history of bombs in a technically advanced society on a world called Earth within a far off galaxy in another time. During 20th century Earth, the design idea in most bombs was to include both the oxidant, and the fuel (or technically a strong oxidizer, and a strong reducer) in one shell. However, research was directed towards a bomb that might use air as the oxidant (as did some weaker black-powder explosives, though the better ones underwent a predominantly anaerobic reaction during the explosion). Then the design idea was to create a bomb that would carry that same explosive force, with half the weight. What the wise military scientists created came cosmetically close to the force of the first atomic bombs, with little or no pollution of any sort (albeit its hard to refer to massive incendiaries as "environmentally safe") and not much heavier than conventional weapons. These FAE (Fuel- Air Explosive) bombs dispersed a gas fuel and then ignited it causing a large explosion of fire that actually sucked the oxygen right out of the air. This spell simulates the devastating technological bomb of Earth. Once cast, the spell creates a large (25 feet long, 5 feet in diameter at base), indestructible, magical missile from the mage's concoction (described later) that heads to its target, better known as ground zero. The missile cannot be stopped or manipulated naturally or magically, it always gets to its destination (of course GMs may make exceptions to this rule). Once ground zero is reached, the missile lightly disperses a very strong, somewhat gaseous, magical alcohol that is then ignited causing immense damage and complete lose of oxygen in the area of effect. The spell's range to ground zero is 1000 feet for every level of the caster. This allows an 18th level mage to center the spell as much as three miles away. This would indicate that the mage is well within enemy borders in most cases when the spell is cast, although he is still a distance from his target. The area of effect is a sphere with a 200 feet per level of the caster radius. The caster cannot control the area of effect. Thus if the mage is 18th level, he will always cast a FAE that is 7200 feet in diameter. Given that 5280 feet comprise a mile, this is quite a distance. The mage better be descent at judging distance, or he might suddenly find himself inside the area of effect of his own spell. Damage to the victims come by two means. The first is the combustion/compression of the explosion which does 10d10 points of damage. Victims get no save because the area of effect is to large and the explosion is the very air around the victim, thus escape is impossible. The second means of damage stems from the suffocation resulting from the explosion that uses up all the available oxygen in the area of effect. Every round beginning the round the spell is cast, 2d8 damage is taken from lack of oxygen. A victim that has a chance to take a large breath of air and does not perform strenuous exercise while holding his breath and is not fully encumbered can hold his breath for a number of rounds equal to 1/3 his Constitution, rounded up (nonstrenuous exercise includes such activities as normal movement, searching for secret doors, etc.). If a victim is performing strenuous exercise, the number of rounds is cut in half (strenuous exercise includes combat, attempting to subdue or move an uncooperative creature, trying to lift heavy weight, moving at high speed, etc.). If a person does not have a chance to take a deep breath before the spell takes effect, the amount of time is halved (rounded up). This halving is cumulative with that strenuous exercise. Note that anybody can always hold his breath for at least one round. When his breath runs out, a person does not immediately suffer the 2d8 points of damage caused because of the lack of oxygen. Each round after his breath runs out, the person makes a Constitution check. The first check has no modifiers, but there is a -2 cumulative modifier each round thereafter. A failed check indicates that the victim tries to inhale oxygen, which is not there, and suffers the 2d8 points of damage. He will continue to suffer 2d8 points of damage each round until oxygen diffuse back into the area of effect or he leaves the area of effect or dies. After detonation of the spell which rids the area of effect of oxygen, the oxygen will diffuse in at 50 feet a round. The material components of this spell are usually rare, typically expensive, and quite bulky. During casting, the following ingredients are mixed together: - Ten gallons of pure 200 proof alcohol is required. If there is any trace of impurity before casting, the spell will backfire causing the mage to be the center of the area of effect. Many armies have foiled many mages by sending an assassin to place a foul liquid, such as Skunk Water, in the alcohol thus causing the mage and his comrades to be victims of their own spell. - One gallon of the highly poisonous blood of a Milwaukee is required. Many adventurers have died trying to kill a Milwaukee just to get its blood. - One gallon of holy water created by priests of Malus Temulentia. - A pint of blood from a 9th level priest of Ebrietas. - All alcohol from a gland of an alcohol dragon is required. This material component is difficult to get because the gland must be filled to get alcohol from it. Thus if the alcohol dragon used its breath weapon, the gland would be empty. Only clever adventures can kill an alcohol dragon to get the gland without having the dragon used its breath weapon. Note that capturing the alcohol from the breath weapon won't work because the alcohol enters an impure state. The pure state of the alcohol can only be found in a gland. After the ingredients are blended together, the following items must be added to the concoction: - One living boozeworm. - A dash of salt and a squirt of lime. - The ivory tusks of a Pink Elephant. - The hide of the sinister Clydesdale breed, Pravus Clydesdale. - The corpse of one giant alcohol black ant. - One diamond that has a value no less than 10,000 silver pieces. The material components are perhaps the biggest problem with the spell for without them the spell can't be cast. GMs should make the material components hard to come by and adventures should be made just for that. In fact collecting the material components, whether by the mage or other adventurers, would be a great way of introducing the alcohol guide to a campaign. Only very rich people, like kings and other nobles, could afford to purchase some of the more exotic material components. Thus a useful partnership takes place: the ruler needs the wizard for the intense spell, the wizard needs the ruler's resources to collect the components. This spell is a closely guarded secret by those that are fortunate to possess it. Using FAE offensively is great, but being on the receiving end of the spell is not to fun. Is this spell to powerful? An 18 is the minimum level the mage must be to cast this 9th spell. Hopefully, few 18th level mages are roaming around. If a GM allows a PC mage to reach 18th level, one of two points can be assumed. Either the GM has been very careful to create game balance in which case the GM will make this spell very dangerous to cast (via collecting and keeping material components, getting safely to the target area which is no doubt deep in secured enemy territory, etc.). Or the GM is an out of control Monty Haulic in which case it doesn't matter if the spell is to powerful; the argument would be "Is 9th level to high?". Clerics Speak with the Intoxicated (Alteration) Level: 1 Sphere: Divination Range: 1 Components: V, S Duration: Special Casting Time: 1 Area of Effect: 1 person Save: None This spell empowers the priest to comprehend and communicate with any person that is intoxicated. The priest is able to ask questions and receive intelligent answers that are accompanied with friendless, cooperations, and understanding. The true usefulness of the spell is when the intoxicated person is comatose. A spell or power of this sort could make the priest a very valuable party commodity for his/her ability to interrogate those who require so much alcohol to loosen their tongues that it also shuts down most of their brains. Cure Drunkenness (Abjuration) Reversible Level: 2 Sphere: Healing Range: Touch Components: V, S, M Duration: Special Casting Time: 2 Area of Effect: One creature Save: None This spell will instantly remove all effects of alcohol intoxication from one target's system. This instantly alleviates hangover, lack of sobriety, and all associated effects of being drunk or its immediate after-effects. It will not cure or abate maladies caused by long-term alcohol abuse, such as cirrhosis of the liver, alcoholism, heart disease, etc.. The reverse, cause drunkenness, will make its target instantly and severely drunk. The drunkenness caused will last as long as normal drunkenness would last, and may bring on a hangover. The severity of the drunkenness is Slight if cast by a 2rd-5th level priest, Moderate if cast by a 6th-9th level priest, and Great if cast by a 10th level or higher priest. Lower Alcohol Addiction (Abjuration) Level: 2 Sphere: Healing Range: Touch Components: V, S Duration: Permanent Casting Time: 2 Area of Effect: 1 creature Save: None This spell allows the cleric to lower a person's alcohol addiction by 2 per class level in the drinking and amount levels. For example, a 5th level cleric casts this spell on a addicted person (level 8 drinking, level 4 amount). The cleric gets 10 to work with (5*2) and decides to lower the drinking level by 8 and the amount level by 2. Thus the addicted person now has a drinking level of 0 and an amount level by 2. A pretty good start for a speedy recovery. Resist Intoxication (Abjuration) Level: 2 Sphere: Protection Range: 0 Components: V, S, M Duration: 6d6 hours Casting Time: 2 Area of Effect: Personal Save: None This spell is used to protect a cleric against becoming intoxicated when drinking, which is typically unbecoming of the clergy. The alcohol ingested during the duration is mystically less effective. The cleric has a +1 per two levels bonus to their Constitution check to resist becoming (more) intoxicated. Note that it is still possible to become drunk while protected, but it is much more difficult. The material components that are consumed at casting time are a raw chicken egg, a red pepper, a chile pepper, and a pint of spring water. Speed Fermentation (Alteration) Level: 2 Sphere: Nature (Druidic) Range: 3 feet + 1 foot per level Components: V, S, M Duration: Instantaneous Casting Time: 1 Area of Effect: 2 feet X 2 feet of volume + 2 feet per level Save: None By the use of this spell, a Druid may speed the fermentation process of any naturally fermentable vegetable matter (i.e. grapes, potatoes, wheat, etc.). Within one hour all the contents in the container will be completely fermented as if the full year or whatever the necessary time period was had passed. The Druid must be careful to make sure that all other preparations have been made to hold the newly fermented liquid. There must be vats, bottles and anything else that is necessary for the preservation of the Alcohol. The Druid must already know the time necessary to ferment the grapes or whatever and the alcohol making processes before casting this spell (i.e. the character must have a proper non-weapon skill). The material component is the Druids knowledge and a small percentage of the fermented material. Protection from Intoxication (Abjuration) Level: 4 Sphere: Protection Range: 0 Components: V, S, M Duration: 12 hours Casting Time: 1 round Area of Effect: Personal Save: None This spell will make the caster immune to the negative effects of alcohol. While protected, alcoholic drinks will not intoxicate the priest in the slightest way, and no side effects of alcohol will be incurred from drinking. Note that this is really unfair to use in a drinking contest! Poisons or other substances in the drink will still affect the priest normally, however. Taste is not affected. The material components consumed at casting time are a 6 chicken eggs. The other material components is a pink flamingo feather. Transmute Water to Wine (Alteration) Reversible Level: 6 Sphere: Elemental (Water) Range: Touch Components: V, S, M Duration: Permanent Casting Time: 2 Area of Effect: 1 cubic yard/level Save: Special This spell allows a cleric to show his dedication to his/her deity. When successfully cast, this spell turns any palatable water into wine (of the cleric's choice) of the highest quality. Salt water or containment water gets a save. Detect magic spells may (50% chance) show it to have a very dim glow. Only a truly dedicated cleric will be allowed to cast this spell, and frivolous castings of it may incur the wrath of superior beings. Proper conditions to be met are: - The cleric's deity will be honored by this act. - The act should be used to help recruit influential persons to the deity's cause. - If more worshipers/believers may be drawn to the deity through this act, so much the better! - Certain ceremonies may use this to celebrate the divinity of the deity. Zone of Tolerance (Abjuration) Reversible Level: 6 Sphere: Protection Range: 0 Components: V, S, M Duration: 24 hours Casting Time: 1 round Area of Effect: 12" radius area Save: Special This spell is used by a cleric to create an area in which alcohol has a diminished effect on creatures. Any being who enters the area must make a save vs. spell to overcome the compulsion to NOT drink. Creatures who enter the area already intoxicated will have their level of intoxication reduced by 1 level (note that this sobers up those who are Slightly intoxicated). Constitution checks made in the area are unmodified, no matter what is being imbibed, thus making it more difficult to become drunk. The reverse, Zone of Intoxication, creates an area in which alcohol is more effective than normal. Any being entering the area must save vs. spells or be compelled to drink. Creatures entering the area will become 1 level more intoxicated than they were (not more than Greatly intoxicated, and sober creatures are unaffected by this). Constitution checks are made at a -3 penalty, cumulative with other penalties, making it easier to become drunk. This spell is popular by clerics who assist temperance organizations. The reverse is popular amongst business owners who enjoy the large consumption of alcohol. Of course, they must find clerics willing to help the business. Most clerics will cast the spell for a small contribution to the church. The material component of the spell is a sea sponge with a serving of alcohol sucked into it. -----------------------------------------------------------------------