

"What Planet Are You From?"  -- Cosmic Stupidity
by Homer Yen
(c) 2000

"Planet" is so bad, it's actually kind of funny.  I'm
not recommending this film, but in the right frame of
mind (the frame of mind that develops after a couple
of beers), this might actually be an acceptable 90
minute diversion.  There is a gentle sweetness that
resides deep beneath the film's core.  But be warned -
even Forrest Gump would find this movie dumb. 

"Planet's" premise is about an advanced world that is
populated by only men.  Led by the stonefaced Ben
Kingsley, this race has bred out emotions and has even
evolved beyond the need for genitalia.  Their agenda
involves conquering other worlds not through
interstellar battle, but through a more subversive
method of breeding.  One man (Garry Shandling) will be
sent to Earth to begin colonization.  He'll be
'equipped' with the right tool to carry out his task. 
And to prepare for his encounter with Earth women, he
is trained to say all the right things.  But just what
are the right things to say?  And even more pressing,
how will the organ-deprived alien accomplish his
mission of impregnating some unsuspecting Earth woman?
 The answers set the pace of this wry comedy, which
for better or worse, will undoubtedly make you roll
your eyes and groan with chagrin.  

To prep Shandling, one lesson teaches him to nod in
approval and say 'uh-huh' when a female is talking. 
Another lesson teaches him to start conversations with
pick-up lines.  He says things like "Can I have your
autograph.  You ARE Miss America, aren't you?" (this
is where we roll our eyes and groan).  Of course,
Earth girls aren't easy, and this baffles our alien to
no end.  Shandling's perpetual look of childlike
indecisiveness suits him well here.  He represents the
common man who is ill-prepared to meet women.  The
other comedic element focuses on his organ-deprived
body.  Genitalia is attached to his body (there is no
male frontal nudity), but when he gets in the mood,
there is this disconcerting humming noise that begins.
 This joke is revisited countless times, and now we're
rolling our eyes and groaning again.  

Certainly, his task is not an easy one.  He's armed
with lame pick-up lines, has a humming problem,
becomes friends with a selfish scoundrel (Greg
Kinnear) and eventually attracts the attention of a
government official (John Goodman) who believes that
he's not quite of this planet.  The audience's task of
staying the course is no less daunting.  The movie
finally picks up a bit with the introduction of
Annette Benning as a recovering alcoholic who has been
completely unlucky in love.  But by this time, the
original premise has run out of ideas, and the movie
switches gears and becomes an awkward lesson about the
fears of commitment and responsibility.

"Planet" could have been a much funnier movie.  It
needed to focus more on the man-versus-woman foibles
rather than shifting the focus to the less funny issue
of commitment.  Still, the movie itself is not
terrible, and admittedly, it made me chuckle a few
times when I wasn't rolling my eyes.  If nothing else,
it certainly provided the best one-liner.  Stately Ben
Kingsley stares at the prosaic-looking John Goodman
with a deadpan eye and says, "You look intelligent,
but when you open your mouth, the effect is spoiled!" 
If you get any satisfaction from watching this movie,
it'll be because you like Annette Benning (who gives a
fine performance), or because you generally believe
that all men are from Mars and that this movie will
confirm all of your suspicions.

Grade: C
S: 2 (some frontal nudity and scenes involving heavy
breathing)
V: 1 (one punch and a bloodless gunshot)
L: 1 (mostly biological terms)

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