

There's this Sci-Fi tv show my roommate and I used to scramble to
watch every weekend and I can't remember the name of it.
The leads were a man and a woman, and I remember that their relationship
was platonic. The woman was a sexy redhead and the guy
was more normal looking than your average lantern-jawed action hero. The
premise of the show was that every week they would go
and investigate a new paranormal phenomenon. Yeah, that was it! And the
name of the show was...uh...uh...
...Aw, damn.
I'm not leaving here until I remember.

   THE X-FILES movie picks up where the highly popular tv show leaves
off with the continuing adventures of FBI agents
Mulder (David Duchovny) and Scully (Gillian Anderson). This time they're
on the trail of a conspiracy to cover up the existence of a
prehistoric virus that's connected to aliens. Being that the show is
heavily centered around secrets I won't reveal any more of the plot,
other than to say it asks as many questions as it answers.
   Like the movie STAR TREK: FIRST CONTACT, the story is the conclusion
to a season finale. One big concern has been that
non-viewers may get confused, but let assuage that fear right now. You
don't need to be a regular viewer to understand THE X-FILES
movie...you just need to be a regular viewer to enjoy THE X-FILES movie.

    The two movies I would probably most compare it to would be
CONSPIRACY THEORY and THE ARRIVAL, but it wouldn't be a
fair or favorable comparison. Despite how you may feel about either of
those movies, in terms of plot, pacing, dialogue and character
development they are out of THE X-FILES' league.
    The X-FILES is not so much a ‘movie' as it is the latest of the new
genre of Movie/ Current TV Show hybrids (see also BEAVIS
&BUTTHEAD DO AMERICA; STAR TREK: GENERATIONS ). Like the others X- FILES
comes off as more of a two hour episode
with better production values and slower pacing.  While it does have the
look of a ‘real' movie, its inexperience shows.
   The action sequences are shot at such close proximity that all you
can make out are indistinguishable flashes. It's lazy in its
characterizations, relying on the fact that you already know them well
enough from watching the show. Often I knew that phrases or
characters meant something important only by  how long the camera stayed
on them, the  audience's reaction or how dramatic the
music was.
     There's nothing clever or unique about the dialogue and, except for
an action scene near the end that takes place in the arctic, it's
very low on a main ingredient that even the worst summer movies have:
Cool parts!  Even the obligatory appearance of ‘The Lone
Gunmen' is meaningless and gimmicky.

       Originally, I felt that I should exempt myself from reviewing THE
show...and believe me I've tried. I desperately want to like it. So many
of my friends, whose opinions I respect, love the show. I
don't know about you, but to me the only thing better than watching a
good show is talking about it the next day with friends.
   And don't mistake me for one of those people who don't like something
just because it's popular. Please! To me those people are
worse than  bandwagon-hoppers because they live under the delusion that
they're hipper and less manipulated.
    No, I've watched The X-Files about 12 times (how many chances would
you give a show you don't like?) and I've liked only 3
episodes...and from what I hear those episodes were anomalies. I think
that to like the show you maybe have to be open to a few
concepts such as:

David Duchovny as a good or charismatic actor-  With the notable
exceptions of his turns on THE LARRY SANDERS SHOW and
TWIN PEAKS, I've always found David Duchovny to be something of an
Eckerd's brand Richard Gere...and let's face it, even a ‘top
shelf' Richard Gere is not always desirable. On a more personal note:
Duchovny physically reminds me of an ex- boss.  My only
enjoyment from the show used to be watching him get dissed and beat up
by the other agents.

Conspiracies! Conspiracies! Conspiracies!-  I'm probably one of the
least paranoid people you'll ever meet. I do, however, believe
that all professional sports are ‘fixed' to one degree or another. I
also think our government is guilty of every corrupt thing they've
been accused of...EXCEPT covering up the existence of aliens.

Extraterrestrial beings inhabiting the Earth- We all look to the skies
for the answers we can't find here. Some find religion and
some, well...   Without putting you through a session in the Total
Perspective Vortex let me throw a few facts at you:   We are 500
light-seconds from the sun. The next nearest star to earth is 4.3
light-years away- something like 23,000
billion miles away!  Even traveling at one million miles an hour, it
would take more than 2,500 years to get
there. Despite the probability of  intelligent life on other planets,
any signal from any planet in the universe
broadcast in any direction is unlikely to be in the path of another
inhabited planet. Waiting for a signal
might require a wait longer than any life on any planet might last. If
we were to get a signal, the waves
carrying that signal left hundreds or thousands of years earlier and by
the time we tracked its source down,
the sending planet may no longer be habitable or even exist.

   An extraterrestrial would have better odds winning Lotto three times
in a row than finding Earth.

******************************************************

     If you think I don't see the absurdity of religiously watching
XENA: WARRIOR PRINCESS but not ‘buying' THE X-FILES, you're
wrong. But shows like XENA, and even HIGHLANDER, aren't ashamed of their
cheesiness. They cut right to what's adventurous and
fun, and don't exert so much energy trying to convince everyone how
‘serious' they are.
   Don't tell me about X-FILES being ‘tongue-in-cheek'. I know that some
of them are (like the 3 that I liked) but the majority are not.
After all, we are talking a bout a show that's won awards for Best Drama
as well as Actor(??) & Actress (okay,I admit she's pretty
damn good).

  I didn't say all of this to try to convince you to not like the show.
Being that it is a Sci-Fi genre movie, no critic can accurately
predict how you'll feel about it. THE X-FILES means something different
to each person. My goal was to give you an idea of the filter
you should use on my comments. If it helps to know, the theater I saw it
in was packed with ‘X-fans', and they all seemed to dig it.
     Hey, "The truth is out there"...
    ...I'm just not sure you should pay $7 for what you see every week
for free.

 OH!! I just remembered the name of that tv show I was thinking of! It
was FRI--- What? Who said X-FILES?...No, no, it was
FRIDAY THE 13th: The TV Series!.

Gee, nothing new under the sun, huh?

-MARTIN