Subject: Review: Star Wars: Episode I - The Phantom Menace (1999)

From: "Julian Gold" <[email-masked]>
Date: 21 Jul 1999 16:07:50 GMT

Star Wars Episode 1: The Phantom Menace
123 Minutes
1 Star Out of 5
Reviewer: Julian Gold
UK release date 15/7/99

Some phenomena have such a profound cultural infulence that one cannot but
help  being swept along by them. Such was George Lucas' Star Wars in the
late 1970's, which gave thrills and spills to millions and spawned two more
films, The Empire Strikes Back and The Return of the Jedi.

For me, the original and bafflingly IVth Episode, was a shallow but
enjoyable affair lifted by a pleasant quirkiness, the presence of Sir Alec
Guiness and of course the unprecedentedly accomplished visuals. These were
further lifted in the second (Vth!) film, with many more fast-moving
spaceships per frame, and a superbly dark if fragmented plot which had, for
once, the Goodies on the receiving end. The final film in that trilogy tied
up the story, but also managed to make most adults cringe by having an army
of unconvincing teddy bears called Ewoks help the heroes to do much the same
thing as they did in the first film.

Deeply unsatisifed, on learning of his intentions to make Episodes I to III,
I yearned for Lucas to make amends for this disappointment and return to the
form of The Empire Strikes Back. Having attracted the likes of Samuel L
Jackson, Ewan Macregor and Liam Neeson, and with the years of Industrial
Light and Magic experience to draw on, the endless possibilities for
creating a masterpiece of science fiction/fantasy made my mouth water.

Sadly, the reality was that Lucas carried on where he left off. Episode 1 is
a child's film propped up by special effects that are now so realistic they
are almost not special, even if they are outstandingly beautiful. But I
would not deny that the majority of the credit, such as it is,  go to the
post-production crew. For all others concerned: shame on you! You could have
done anything, but you chose to produce a film with a plot so confused and
paced so atrociously that I found myself yawning on occasions. I wasn't even
sure what the title was about (what menaces there were were anything but
Phantom)!

Set against the fascinating (sic) background of intergalactic taxation, two
Jedi warriors (Neeson / McGregor) are sent to sort out a blockade by the
Trade Federation. Why that blockade is there is never explained, indeed
Lucas is happy to assume throughout that we are all fans and we know the ins
and outs and nerdy details of the previous three movies. This is surprising
when you consider that 15 years or so have passed since Episode VI and that
much of the target audience may not have even seen the original three films.
And those that did will be adults now and may well demand more from a film.

One things many adults might not demand in a movie is one of those stooge
characters who despite their intrinsic and irritating buffoonery manage to
win battles. Unfortunately, Episode 1 gives us just such an individual quite
early on. Jar Jar Binks is a bug-eyed, long-eared big-handed alien. If that
were all, Lucas might have gotten away with it, but he is clumsy, and talks
in an only partially intelligible and uncomfortably
stereotype-Afro-American-slave fashion. Worse, he walks like a Bro' too: for
those that know the Simpsons episode where Itchy and Scratchy gain an extra
character, Binks is very like Poochie the Dog and just as effective an
addition to the film as Poochie was to the meta-cartoon.

So the plot labours on, held together by the effects team, though sometimes
the gratuitous use of CGI only adds to the confusion. The acting is wooden,
even from those who have some acting pedigree. Anyway, said blockade becomes
an occupation, though it is the squeaky-cleanest occupation you ever didn't
see, because though we are often told of the people suffering there is no
visual evidence of it. Consequently, it is hard to care, indeed the film
finds it near impossible to build a sense of drama or tension throughout.
The central character is really Anakin Skywalker, who we meet half-way
through the film as a precocious10-year-old child. We know that he's
destined to be Darth Vader, the big baddie of the earlier (ie later)
episodes, but for now he's the teeth-clenchingly wholesome Kid With Special
Powers who loves his mommy. Indeed Lucas dwells on this in one yawn of a
scene that has remarkably little CGI but a lot of tedious dialogue, as if we
are to believe that he will become the scourge of the galaxy because he
misses his mum.

The rest of the film is as predictable as it is long-winded. There are some
political machinations that are as tedious as they are naive, a bit of
swashbuckling with the McGregor/Neeson, and a boring space battle resulting
in another one-small-fighter-succeeds-where-many-big-fighters-failed
scenario. There's also a ground battle involving warrior droids who
conveniently fall to pieces at the slightest provocation and talk to each
other in Battlestar Galactica Cylon voices.

Star Wars: Episode 1 is a turkey of a film, not simply because it is
intrinsically bad (which it is), but because it could have been an awful lot
more. No doubt it will collect the pounds and dollars from the public to
break whatever records, but it will probably not do as well as predicted
(certainly if the US attendances are anything to go by). George Lucas is a
very smart man with a track record of style, vision and flair. He has not
yet proven he can acknowledge his mistakes though, let alone learn from
them, and against that, I must say I am less than desparate  to see the
forthcoming Episodes II and III.