Subject: Review: Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace

From: [email-masked] (J. Marty)
Date: 25 Apr 2000 17:26:05 GMT

To paraphrase the Book of Psalms: "Lucas, Lucas, why have you forsaken
us?"
     That could well be said of George Lucas' latest attempt at cinema, THE
PHANTOM MENACE. After a 22-year break, ol' Georgie Porgie returns once again to
direct a STAR WARS film. Unfortunately, the Force seems to be no longer with
him. The 1977 debut film A NEW HOPE was easily a celluloid masterpiece and has
earned its rightful place in Hollywood immortality. But in 1999, like a pale
shadow of the original, came THE PHANTOM MENACE. If A NEW HOPE was filet
mignon, then THE PHANTOM MENACE is just a little above Hamburger Helper.
     And now, breakdown:

PLOT: One of the greatest things about A NEW HOPE was its devilishly basic
story: an evil Empire, led by the merciless warlord Darth Vader, kidnaps
Princess Leia Organa of Alderaan, and it's up to a farm boy, a smuggler, a
Wookiee, a Jedi Knight, and two droids to rescue her and also defeat a massive
planet-destroying superweapon, the Death Star! THE PHANTOM MENACE, on the other
hand, has a plot that goes something like this: Two Jedi Knights arrive as Old
Republic ambassadors to a blockade by the greedy Trade Federation of the planet
Naboo, ruled by the 14-year-old Queen Amidala who is trying to appeal to the
Republican Senate on Coruscant which is filled with corruption, etc. 
     What?! This is the movie's single greatest flaw - the fact that Lucas,
disregarding the time-honored aphorism that less is more, has crammed every
last inkling of plot he can into what is supposed to be a simple space opera
for kids from 4 to 94. Whatever happened to the gee-whiz, tried-and-true sci-fi
formula that was employed - and worked to maximum effect - in 1977? If it ain't
broke, George, then don't fix it. Unfortunately, he did.

CHARACTERS: Many of the characters in this movie are so bland that you actually
don't care when bad things happen to them. The most likable character by far is
Qui-Gon Jinn (Liam Neeson), a courageous yet earnest Jedi Knight who leads his
companions into battle and is also responsible for the discovery of young
Jedi-to-be Anakin Skywalker (Jake Lloyd). A classic hero, Qui-Gon radiates
charisma, personality, and good humor - much more than could be said for any of
the other characters.
     Obi-Wan Kenobi, the wise old Jedi in the original films, is here portrayed
by Ewan McGregor as a whiny Gen-Xer who questions everything. Though he is more
level-headed in some ways than his master Qui-Gon, I couldn't help thinking
that Ewan really needed to loosen up in his performance as the young Jedi. His
brooding demeanor really brought the role down. 
     Could somebody please tell me why Queen Amidala (Natalie Portman) the
mother of the dynamic duo of Luke Skywalker and Princess Leia, seems more like
a department store mannequin than a monarch? She's actually kind of creepy,
with a makeup job like Marcel Marceau and an accent like Nikita Krushchev. That
flat, emotionless voice got so boring after a while that I kept hoping she'd
burp or get the hiccups or something - anything to break up the monotony. Her
costumes were ridiculous and she could have gotten rich donating the whole lot
to museums. And to top it all off, she is even more grim than the somber
Obi-Wan and waits until the film is 75 percent over before finally cracking a
real smile.
     And then there's the boy. Granted, Anakin Skywalker is a tough role to do
and you can't usually expect an Oscar-caliber performance out of a 10-year-old.
But Jake Lloyd's take on the child hero was a little too cute. At some points,
it was so syrupy that you could have drowned a thousand flapjacks in it. Are we
to believe that a child shrewd enough to speak alien languages and build
machines all by his lonesome would respond to a joyful situation with an
insipid "Yippee!"? And I know this movie was pure fantasy, but Lucas threatened
to stretch our credulity to the breaking point by having Anakin win (let alone
survive) a treacherous pod race and by also having him blow up a gigantic space
station without ever having been in such a battle before (if I could have done
that at his age, my fame would have been celebrated by the carving of my face
on Mount Rushmore). Overall, I find the idea of the little rugrat one day
becoming the notorious supervillain Darth Vader a little hard to swallow. Maybe
he just has a little more growing up to do.
     Mesa no liked Jar Jar Binks (Ahmed Best). A member of the amphibious
Gungan species native to Naboo's swamps and lakes, Jar Jar spends the entire
movie clowning around and speaking even worse English than Yoda (Frank Oz). His
antics, while gut-bustingly hilarious, become so prevalent that they distract
the audience from everything else that is going on in the movie (and there's a
lot going on, believe me). I realize that Jar Jar was supposed to be a
substitute for Chewbacca the Wookiee in the earlier films, but the correlation
isn't quite as accurate as Lucas intended. Chewie may have been comical at
times, but at least he had authentic human qualities (such as loyalty to Han
Solo or anger at Lando Calrissian's apparent betrayal of Han). Jar Jar, on the
other hand, is just a clueless buffoon. Other than bringing the Gungans and the
humans of Naboo together in a grand alliance against the Trade Federation (a
feat which must really be attributed to Queen Amidala), Jar Jar does nothing
except do his best Bob Marley imitation, hoping that that alone will suffice as
comic relief.

OTHER STUFF: The inconsistencies between THE PHANTOM MENACE and the original
films are legion. Why is it that practically every alien species in TPM speaks
English while Yoda and Admiral Ackbar were the only Anglophone characters in
the originals? How come the Jedi Knighs in TPM all know tae kwon do when
martial arts were never used by Luke and the gang? And what on God's green
earth was Lucas thinking when he decided that the Force should be the
by-product of Jedi cooties rather than a mysterious energy field?
     The special effects also bugged me. Sure, they were spectacular. But that
was precisely the problem. The STAR WARS movies have always been remembered for
their uncompromising realism in creating the look and feel of science fiction,
so making the effects too fanciful somehow takes the edge off Lucas'
distinctive atmosphere. Besides, too much striving to keep up with technology
only tends to date the films. Young people who saw THE PHANTOM MENACE and who
grew up after the 1970s and '80s will eventually see the original films and
dismiss them as outdated, pre-CGI schlock. Not only that, but later generations
will likewise look at this film and find the effects to be a product of their
time.

FINAL THOUGHTS: As a self-confessed STAR WARS geek, I am overjoyed to see the
greatest fantasy phenomenon in movie history return to the big screen. But as a
film historian and movie purist, I can only evaluate THE PHANTOM MENACE
according to its superior predecessors. No matter how good a STAR WARS film is
nowadays, it's invariably going to be compared to the 1977-1983 trilogy, which
will always be the first and foremost in moviegoers' hearts. Alas, THE PHANTOM
MENACE, which is supposed to be a prequel and a mere prelude to the grandeur to
come, has the crippling aura of "remake" about it. When something has been done
right the first time, sometimes it is best to just leave it alone.