

Review by Eric Robinette
[email-masked]

Turmoil has engulfed the movie-going public. The worth of "Star Wars: Episode I
- The Phantom Menace" is in dispute.

Hoping to resolve the matter with a sensible, clear-eyed review, the errant
knight, Sir Phil M. Critic, endeavored to offer his own opinion, even if he was
a little late with it, to help settle the conflict.

As far as Sir Critic could see, it was like a period of civil war amongst the
moviegoers. A handful blindly loved the movie, having been starved of a "Star
Wars" film for 16 years. Another surly and disgruntled group tried to score a
victory against what they called "The evil Lucasfilm empire" by leveling
accusations of racism at the film. A third large and unruly group complained
that the movie was all flash and fire, with no true sense of heart or emotion 

Sir Critic immediately dismissed the racism claims of the surly group,
believing its arguments had enough foolishness to embarrass an entire
profession.  Alarmed by the group's cynical tone, the knight branded them as
the sort of charlatans who like to spend time looking for messages that simply
did not exist, with their real purpose being to draw attention to themselves.

"What utter nonsense!" the knight declared. The Trade Federation aliens speak
in a Japanese accent, I believe, because this is homage to the Japanese films
of Akira Kurosawa, who inspired the "Star Wars" series in the first place. As
for the sidekick Jar Jar Binks' Jamaican overtones, that is because this is the
accent that the voice actor, Ahmed Best, actually uses."

Evading the dreaded racist claims, Sir Critic tried to begin his proper review.
However, the other critics, obsessed with shooting the film down, dispatched
hundreds of angry barbs at the film, in particular assailing the sidekick
character of Jar-Jar, whom they labeled as a constant nuisance.

Sir Critic conceded that Jar-Jar's pidgin English, which sounded like a warped
form of Pig Latin, was off-putting and unnecessary, but aside from that, he
found the character amusing in the role of a clumsy oaf, which gave the film
many lighthearted moments of humor.

The unruly group then changed tactics, focusing on a new, pointed attack even
more powerful than their first. They argued the film was nothing more than an
overstuffed visual feast, with plenty to look at, but little to care about and
no depth of character or storytelling to be found.

Sir Critic had to concede this argument, but only up to a point. He agreed that
the movie was basically two-hours plus of setup for the darker chapters in the
saga that were to follow, and this particular episode had little in the way of
emotional heft.

Even so, Sir Critic predicted that when the entire series was completed, "The
Phantom Menace" would fit in nicely with the entire series. He found it
especially interesting that Obi-Wan Kenobi trained Anakin when he was an
inexperienced Jedi, which makes for some ominous foreshadowing.

"But do not forget the most important point," Sir Critic advised the others.
"When all is said and done, the most important question is 'Was the film an
entertaining, exciting time at the theater?' My answer is yes, very much so.
'The Phantom Menace,' is, like the other films, an adventure story at heart. 
As an adventure, it succeeds grandly with great set pieces like the pod race
and the final battle with Darth Maul, which are worth the price of admission by
themselves.

"Could it have been better? Yes, it could have, but no movie could possibly
live up to the expectations that had built up behind it. 'The Phantom Menace'
may not be the best of the series, but it has one thing in common with the
other films: it is a lot of fun."