Subject: REVIEW: THE FIFTH ELEMENT (1997)

From: [email-masked] (Eric G. Scharf)
Date: 29 May 1997 18:19:29 GMT

THE FIFTH ELEMENT
                       A film review by Eric G. Scharf
                        Copyright 1997 Eric G. Scharf

"Buckaroo Banzai" with ten times the budget and one tenth the plot.

Despite several dire reviews and some wry personal criticisms, I felt
obligated to go see this, the first "summer movie" of the season. And
although I don't exactly regret seeing this movie, I do wish I had managed
to pay only $3.75 for the privilege.

"The Fifth Element" is remniscent of "Buckaroo Banzai" in that it drops
the audience straight into the action and rushes along without bothering
to explain odd details. But where "Buckaroo Banzai" told an interesting
(or at least novel) story with minimal reliance on special effects, "The
Fifth Element" spends millions on effects to dress up what is essentially
a drug-running plot from a "Miami Vice" episode. "The Fifth Element" makes
exactly zero (or negative, if you count the opportunity cost of the film's
underwriting) contribution to the field of science fiction cinema. Don't
bother looking for any explication of the political, technological, or
social developments of the 250 years that allegdly transpire between the
present and the film's milieu; the cinematographer's chief inspiration for
22nd century Brooklyn seems to have been Super Mario Bros. The "President
of the Federation" was inexplicably feckless;  I've seen more grace under
pressure (and better dialogue) from my local McDonalds night supervisor.
When the director's vision of the ancient race of interstellar good-guy
patrons turned out not to include the ability to stay a closing elevator
door, I knew the film was in trouble. 

"Buckaroo Banzai" was also a helluva lot funnier. The only (intentional) 
comic relief in "The Fifth Element" waits until two thirds of the way into
its 122 minutes to show up in the form of a refugee from a cancelled UPN
show, but who is supposed to be a DJ (apparently, the dominant form of
mass media in the 22nd century will be radio).  This might have been an
opportunity for yet another satire of the media, but even that would have
been preferable to the tiresome hysterics provided by this buffoon. 

The vast majority of screen time is taken up with either mediocre car
chases and gunfights or Milla Jovovich trying to duplicate Jodie Foster's
shameless Oscar grab in "Nell". Note that this movie was directed by Luc
Besson, the man who brought us "La Femme Nikita". Jovovich's character is
supposed to be this "perfect human" (think the title character from
"Species" with a heart (and an accent)), strong enough to rip through her
"unbreakable"  incubation chamber. She is even shown memorizing Earth's
library of martial arts. So what does Besson do? He exempts her, alone
among all the primary (and secondary) characters, from the Universal
Action Hero Immunity to Automatic Weapons. During the penultimate fight
scene, Jovovich is trapped in a ventilation shaft and fired on repeatedly.
Note that we also don't get to see her get wounded, which is the only
reason to wound a hero in an action movie. We simply don't see her again
until Willis has (after letting the aforementioned DJ grab far more screen
time than he deserves) dispatched the bad guys and comes back to rescue
her. The washed-up Special Forces guy turned-cabbie is better in a fight
than the interstellar female assassin/Avatar of Good. Right. 

Saving graces: Gary Oldman as Joe Bob Briggs, the (not really) 
surprisingly impotent arms-dealing mastermind and Servant of Evil
(everyone knows that the Mark of the Devil is secretions of Hershey's
Chocolate Syrup on the forehead, right?). Eric Serra's eclectic
soundtrack. 

I almost forgot that Ian Holm is in this movie. I'm sure he'd rather I
did. 

Go see "Twelve Monkeys" instead. You'll come away with a much better
feeling about Bruce Willis, science fiction, screenwriting, French cinema,
and the future of humanity. 

--
Eric G. Scharf                                     [email-masked]
http://www.seattleu.edu/~escharf/film/5thelement.html
http://www.seattleu.edu/~escharf/film/
http://www.seattleu.edu/~escharf/