Subject: REVIEW: STAR WARS: A NEW HOPE (SPECIAL EDITION) (1997)

From: [email-masked] (Yamamoto)
Date: 3 Feb 1997 15:29:38 GMT

STAR WARS: A NEW HOPE (SPECIAL EDITION)
                       A film review by Yamamoto
                        Copyright 1997 Yamamoto

There I was, chillin' as usual and walking down the street.  And guess
what I get?  This Mormon guy comes up to me and start preaching about
their belief and everything.  What really bothered me was that the guy
was carrying a Russian bible.  Talk about redundant.  Anyhow, I escaped
their grasp.

Speaking of being born again, STAR WARS came out and I had to go check
it out.  You know the story, it's about the good vs the evil.  Throw in
the princess in distress, two goofy rescuers and a wise ol' teacher.
Yeah, it's what the legends are made of.  And no, it never gets tired.
And the edits and the added scenes are really cool.

No nakkid boobs.  No bullets (but with bullet sounds).  Kazillion dead
bodies.  12 on the vomit meter.  No moon shots.  What we got here are:
In the galaxy far far away-fu, attack of killer star destroyer-fu,
storm troopers-fu, Mr Darth-fu, droids from hell-fu, elephants in
rags-fu, little rats-fu, more star destroyers-fu, astroids from
hell-fu, attack of killer death star-fu, and of course, the force- fu.
Video hall of fame nominations to Harrison Ford for saying stuff like
"May the Force be with you" and to Mark Hamill for saying stuff like "I
want to learn about the force".  And of course to Carrie Fisher for
saying stuff like "You listen to me, got it?" and to Alec Guiness for
saying stuff like "Use the Force Luke".  Four stars.  Shaggy Bobs says
wicked!

Spoilers -- There was once a wise man who told me this -- digital means
you can play it loud! (without distortion)  Go see it on the big screen
with good sound system.  It's the whole reason why you want to go see
it.  Ok, the added scenes are cool.  And they did a good job editing
the special effects.  But Star Wars is one of the few movies that has
that certain magic.  And you won't get most out of it unless you see it
on the big screen.  If you're waiting for the phone call from Rachel
Blanchard, just call her up and take her to see this movie.  She won't
hate you for it.  Well, that's assuming that you already know her and
you're not being a pain.

Alien Alert!  What's this I hear about da mayor wanting to bring
Steinheart to SOMA?  Just what goes through morons' minds (if there is
any)?  Hello?  Oh, I forgot, we're talking about people who'd demolish
freeway one level at a time and never replace them.  Just once, I'd
like to hear about sound decisions.  I guess I'll be dead before that
but I can always dream can't I?

For wisdom according to Shaggy Bob, hit that Reply key now.

Shaggy Bob