Subject: Retrospective: Mystery Science Theater 3000: The Movie

From: E. Benjamin Kelsey <[email-masked]>
Date: 15 Jan 1998 16:56:38 GMT

MYSTERY SCIENCE THEATER 3000: THE MOVIE
(PG-13)

Directed by Jim Mallon
Running Time: 73 minutes
Originally Released: April 19, 1996

Reviewed by E. Benjamin Kelsey

* * * (out of four)

The premise is simple, if not bizarre. A mad scientist (Trace Beaulieu as Dr.
Clayton Forrester) launches an average-joe (Michael J. Nelson as Mike Nelson)
into space where he forces his subject to watch the most horrendous movies
ever made. Why? It's torturous, it's maniacal, and it's just plain fun. Based
on the cult-favorite cable television series, MYSTERY SCIENCE THEATER 3000:
THE MOVIE isn't torturous, but as for being maniacal and just plain fun, it
foots the bill quite nicely.

Mike Nelson, on a dog-bone shaped spacecraft, spends his days as any young man
would dream - indulging in sarcasm and horseplay, and seeing quite a few
movies. The catch is, these movies aren't the movies he chooses, but retched
examples of film-making chosen specifically by Dr. Forrester in an attempt to
break Mike's will to live. Dr. Forrester is convinced that one too many b-
movies is all it will take to ruin a man, but with a couple of wise-cracking
puppet buddies (Tom Servo, voiced by Kevin Murphy, and Crow T. Robot, voiced
by Beaulieu), the torture becomes somewhat of a honorary party for all that is
wrong in the world of cheezy cinema.

The purpose behind MST3K is to exploit some of the worst films known (even if
by very few of us) to man. We watch as the silhouettes of Mike, Tom, and Crow
sit in a darkened theater poking fun at the movie going on before them. In
this case, it's the 1954 sci-fi film THIS ISLAND EARTH. We basically watch as
our three leads watch, only we get the pleasure of eavesdropping on their
hilarious commentary. The plots behind the movies ripped apart are really
quite irrelevant, but for the sake of those who might want to know, I'll
explain this one. THIS ISLAND EARTH is the tale of two scientists, a man and a
woman, who wind up aboard a spaceship whose crew intends to destroy the Earth.
Together the two fight to survive as well as save their home planet.

To make MST3K work, the film-within-the-film naturally has to be as horrible
as possible, and although the TV-series introduced us to several worse films
than THIS ISLAND EARTH, it's a bad enough flick to bring about some hysterical
cruelty. MST3K, which doesn't actually contain the complete THIS ISLAND EARTH,
is a short 73 minutes, but this is a step very wisely taken. As funny as some
of their observations are, it can only go so long. Occasional breaks from THIS
ISLAND EARTH also help the film tremendously. Although it takes a second to
get back into the right mode after this premise has been left for a moment,
it's better than overkilling the whole concept post haste.

MST3K lovers will likely hail the film greatly, but if you don't know what
you're in for, it could be a jarring disappointment. Although I thought the
sharp wit of this film was worth three stars, it is a movie to be seen on home
video, late at night when your brain is not functioning to full capacity
anyway, and with a large, saracastic crowd - New Year's at midnight for
example, which is when I saw it.

Warning: Although MST3K has more to its end credits than most (the three leads
use the credits to poke some more fun), they are actually more annoying than
most. The name slandering and asinine one-liners were extremely unfunny, and
after laughing for about 70 minutes straight, it put a heavy damper on the
overall experience. Most people will likely stay to see what the smart-alec's
have to say, but for me, it almost ruined an otherwise good film.

January 01, 1998