Subject: Review: Mars Attacks! (1996)

From: [email-masked] (Chad Polenz)
Date: 13 Oct 1997 04:07:33 GMT

Mars Attacks!

Chad'z rating: **1/2 (out of 4 = OK)

1996, PG-13, 106 minutes [1 hour, 46 minutes]

[comedy/satire/science fiction]

starring: Jack Nicholson (President Dale, Art Land), Pierce Brosnan (Donald
Kessler), Martin Short (Jerry Ross), Jim Brown (Byron Williams), written by
Jonathan Gems, produced by Tim Burton, Larry J. Franco, directed by Tim
Burton, based on the Topps trading card series.

seen on home video by myself on Saturday, October 11, 1997 at 7 p.m.

It's funny how a punctuation mark can make or break a movie. From title
alone, you'd think "Mars Attacks!" would be a cartoony black comedy or some
kind of thrilling sci-fi movie, but to understand how the film really works,
just drop the exclamation point. Mars attacks - so what?

As with any alien invasion story, this film sets up its framework by showing
characters all over the country who are somehow connected. Of course numerous
sub-plots are established, but since this is a satire we're not asked to take
much of anything seriously. 

First there's Jack Nicholson who seems depressed playing the role of
President Dale - probably because Dale is the calmest character he's ever
played. Dale's staff is made up of generic characters including Pierce
Brosnan as Donald Kessler, a scientist who tells the president not to panic
when Martians surround Earth. Not surprisingly there's also the bossy,
hyperactive general who keeps saying we should "nuke 'em!" (this routine is
so old and unfunny it's almost sad). There's also Martin Short as White House
Press Secretary Jerry Ross who does his typical spiel (enough said). In fact,
it's really not worth mentioning all the characters here because there are so
many of them and they're all boring, familiar caricatures. They're meant to
be zany but the atmosphere is so dull nothing seems witty enough to be funny.

It takes over a half hour before any real action takes place, and although
the special effects are fantastic, they don't do much to save the lame
screenplay. The Martians are weird-looking aliens who blast humans with ray
guns and quack like ducks. It's obvious their malevolence is a parody of
aliens in films like these, but the film doesn't go far enough to make them
the funny cartoons they are meant to be. Remember how the evil "Gremlins" had
individual personalities? That should happen here, but doesn't. And even when
this is attempted, it doesn't really work.

This movie probably wasn't intended to be just a live-action cartoon and/or
a spoof of sci-fi movies, it's meant to be a humorous political statement
through satire. Burton attempts to make some themes about the obsession of
the media, but he doesn't nearly utilize the potential. After the halfway
point, the film is just small chunks of pointless scenes meant to be funny
but aren't. For example: the rednecks with guns who say, "They're not taking
the TV," or the hotel mogul Art Land (Nicholson again) who says, "Even aliens
gotta sleep somewhere."

"Mars Attacks!" is like a glass of flat soda where the taste is still there,
but there's no pep to it. The same thing happens here - it's a film with an
all-star cast, and a story that should be easy to satirize, but everybody
seems too bored to make an effort.

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(C) 1997 Chad Polenz