Subject: REVIEW: JUDGE DREDD

From: [email-masked] (Christopher Null)
Date: Fri, 7 Jul 1995 21:02:01 GMT

JUDGE DREDD
		      A film review by Christopher Null
		       Copyright 1995 Christopher Null

     You know from the first *second* what you're getting into with this
movie.  The opening to JUDGE DREDD, Sylvester Stallone's new sci-fi action
vehicle, is not a smash-bang action sequence, but rather a montage of
comic book covers from old the Judge Dredd series.  This comic book movie
intro is getting popular (the third time I've seen something like it this
year), and it's getting really, really old.

     After the comics are laid out, we have a screenfull of text,
explaining the mind-numbingly unoriginal premise of JUDGE DREDD, which is
this:  in the future, the world sucks.  At first I didn't know why there
was a voice-over attached to this text, but then I realized that most of
the audience of the film probably couldn't read.

     In this happy land, Sly is a genetically-enhanced "Judge," a
super-cop who dispenses judgments to criminals on the spot of their
crimes.  When his psychotic, also-enhanced brother (Rico, played by Armand
Assante) returns from prison to get his revenge on Dredd by framing him,
Sly finds himself on the run in an attempt to save himself and the world
from Rico.

     Yawn.  Full of crappy digital effects, JUDGE DREDD looks like a bad
B-movie from Roger Corman.  Armand Assante is pathetic as the giggling
villain who is supposed to be Sly's *brother*--I mean, Armand Assante, the
guy who danced in red heels in FATAL INSTINCT?  Yeah, right.  Basically,
Assante grimaces his way through 91 long minutes of this schlock so we can
get to the inevitable showdown.

     JUDGE DREDD does clear up one minor mystery for me.  It answers the
riddle, "How many times can one film use the plot device, 'Someone sneaks
up behind someone else.'"  The answer:  about 20.

     Everything about the movie is just ridiculous.  The ultra-high tech
cops don't seem to notice Rico and his 8-foot tall robot traipsing around
the city.  And of course, the only way to fix a flying motorcycle is to
beat it with one's fist.

     Dialogue saves DREDD from one-star hell.  Sly's got a few good
one-liners, and Rob Schneider is often funny as the comic relief
sidekick.  Fellow Judge Diane Lane also seems to be able to act.  But
that's about it.

     If you want to read a comic book, save the price of the movie ticket
and buy a real one.

RATING:  **

+---------------------------------------+  
|*     Unquestionably awful             |  
|**    Sub-par on many levels           |  
|***   Average quality, hits and misses |  
|****  Good, memorable film             |  
|***** Perfection                       |  
+---------------------------------------+