Subject: Review: JASON X (2001)

From: Christian Pyle <[email-masked]>
Date: Mon, 17 Jun 2002 18:31:16 -0000

Jason X 
Reviewed by Christian Pyle
Directed by James Isaac
Written by Todd Farmer
Starring Kane Hodder, Lexa Doig, Lisa Ryder, Peter Mensah, and Chuck Campbell
Grade: D+

Slasher films series are like a bad habit.  The producers promise to end a 
series, but, no matter how long they stay clean and sober, they inevitably 
crave a fix.  The Jason series has "ended" twice -- 1984's "Friday the 13th: 
The Final Chapter" and 1993's "Jason Goes to Hell: The Final Friday" -- but, 
despite having been blown to tiny pieces in the latter, Jason Voorhees (Kane 
Hodder) is back.  At the beginning of "Jason X," Jason has been captured.  
Attempts to kill him have failed (no kidding!), so the government has decided 
to freeze him.  A melee ensues that causes Jason is to frozen with a woman 
named Rowan (Lexa Doig of "Andromeda").

Cut to the year 2455.  Humanity has fled our dead planet for Earth 2, but for 
some reason ships still visit Earth 1.  A group of students find Jason and 
Rowan and take them up them up to their ship, the Grendel.  Before long, of 
course, the crew are being hacked up like camp counselors.

The plot of this movie probably came about when someone carrying a script for 
"Friday the 13th Part X" bumped into someone carrying a script for a 
syndicated sci fi series called "Stoners and Sex-Kittens in Space," causing 
their scripts to spill together onto the floor.  Like characters in the old 
Reese's Cup commercials, they found that the combination of the two was 
tastier than either alone.  

(The feel of syndicated sci fi seems entirely intentional.  Many cast members 
have appeared on shows like "Andromeda," "Earth: Final Conflict" and "Psi 
Factor.")

At first glance, the longevity of the "Friday the 13th" series seems 
inexplicable.  It's too goofy to be scary and too barren to be funny.  Only 
one entry in the series (1986's "Friday the 13th Part VI: Jason Lives") shows 
any sign of wit, a plot, or character development.  The only reason I can see 
to watch them is the guilty pleasure of watching stupid, oversexed people be 
viciously slaughtered.  (Why hasn't reality TV caught on to this idea yet?)

The script is as derivative as ever.  The author was so pleased at ripping 
off "Alien" that he named the character he plays in the movie "Dallas" (after 
the captain in "Alien").  The other characters he named after the user-ids of 
his online pals (names like Geko, Crutch, Condor, Kinsa, Stoney, Waylander, 
Azrael, and Tsunaron).  What is this guy? 12 years old?

Even the notion of moving a horror series into the future is old news.  The 
"Hellraiser" series beat them to it.

The only real fun in the movie comes in a virtual reality sequence that 
returns Jason to 1980 (the year the first "Friday" was released).  In the 
woods he finds two bimbos who chant in unison, "We love premarital sex!"

But if, like me, you find yourself drawn to Jason movies by some primal need 
to watch stupid people suffer, "Jason X" provides the familiar gore in a new 
setting.

© 2002 Christian L. Pyle

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X-RAMR-ID: 32067
X-Language: en
X-RT-ReviewID: 728588
X-RT-TitleID: 1113860
X-RT-AuthorID: 1057
X-RT-RatingText: D+