Subject: Review: Event Horizon (1997)

From: Tim Voon <[email-masked]>
Date: 9 Oct 1997 16:01:39 GMT

EVENT HORIZON 1997
                      A film review by Timothy Voon
                       Copyright 1997 Timothy Voon
  8  :-( :-( :-( :-( :-( :-( :-( :-(   for potentially the worst movie
                           I’ve seen this year

Cast: Laurence Fishburne, Sam Neill, Kathleen Quinlan, Joely
Richardson,  Richard T. Jones, Jack Noseworthy, Jason Isaacs, Sean
Pertwee Director: Paul Anderson Screenplay: Philip Eisner

This movie works on pure horror and special effects. Both of which score
zilch when the mind is continually bombarded by wave upon wave of
shocking graphic gore. Is there a story line? Yes and no. YES, it is the
tale of an exploration ship known as the "Event Horizon", capable of
travel through a self-generated Black Hole. After being missing for
seven years, it reappears. Apparently the ship has been to Hell and
back, and NO it shouldn't have made a re-appearance.

There seems to be no limit to the human imagination when it comes to
horror. Sam Neil's face is mutilated to the point where Freddy Kruger
could be mistaken for Ronald McDonald in comparison. The simple scarred
face is no longer shocking enough. The eyes must also be gorged out for
added effect. Why not go all the way and remove the nose and tongue as
well. That way we would be spared the mumbo jumbo dialogue, and the
putrid stench that this movie creates. Let me mention a few horrific
moments of wasted movie time.

The "Silence of the Lambs" scene. This time the female gender is spared
the skinning process. Instead we have an average sized Caucasian male
who is skinned alive, before his carcass is poetically sprawled on the
butchering table. The rest of him dangles on a hook above the body,
giving "hung and dry" a new meaning.

The "Carrie" scene - a simple bucket of blood has become cliche. This
time we have a torrential river of crimson red, which floods and
submerges its characters. This is definitely what the blood bank needs.

Now for something not seen too often in Mainstream cinema. The "Body
Mutilation Orgy Scene", which was unsuspectingly thrown at the audience.
We have the naked, mutilated bodies of the missing crew running about
the ship, ripping each other's insides out; and I don't just mean the
eyes. I figured that this must have been the substitute sex scene, cause
the actors get to take their clothes off.

I won't forget to mention the "Blow the boy from the inside out" scene.
Where once again we watch a nice young man having his eyes and veins
explode in a pressure lock. There we go with the eyes again. Fetish,
fetish. fetish.

Now tell me, was I meant to enjoy the movie, or merely gag in the aisle
where I was sitting. I'm not a great connoisseur of food, but I guess
what is considered one man's vomit, is another man's creme de la creme.
Believe me, this movie leaves a very bitter taste in the mouth.

Are the actors worth mentioning? No. After portraying such used and
abused characters, whose bodies have no less been put through a meat
grinder, anonymity would be the kindest option. As for the director Paul
Anderson, enough with the exploding eyes and bloody torrents, we have no
wish to view the best left unseen effects of playing "Mortal Kombat" - a
much better movie if you ask me. If I wanted to scare myself, I could
have stayed at home and played "Peek-a-Boo" with a one year-old child.

Timothy Voon
e-mail: [email-masked]