Subject: REVIEW: DRAGONHEART (1996)

From: [email-masked] (Christopher Null)
Date: 31 May 1996 00:11:57 GMT

DRAGONHEART
                      A film review by Christopher Null
                       Copyright 1996 Christopher Null

     It's going to be a long summer, at this rate.

     Trying as hard as possible to be BRAVEHEART with a dragon (hell, look
at the title!), DRAGONHEART is a pretty dismal affair, punctuated by a
couple of good performances, a show-stealing computer-generated dragon
(with a heart of gold), and a really, really hackneyed story line.

     The story line in question is this:  young Einon (Lee Oakes) is heir
to the throne in 982 A.D. England.  His mentor is Bowen (Dennis Quaid), who
tries to teach him "the Old Code" of honor and knighthood.  When the King
dies, Einon suddenly finds himself the ruler of England, but not before a
nearly-fatal wound.  Mom (Julie Christie) is quick to the rescue...
suggesting that the dragon on the hill (voice:  Sean Connery) can heal him.
He does, by giving him half of his heart.  Stop laughing; there's more.

     Well, Einon (now David Thewlis) grows up to be a real jerk and Bowen
blames the dragon for this.  He sets out on a quest to kill all the dragons
in the land and almost succeeds.  When he meets one last dragon many years
later, they, well, they become friends.  And then they overthrow the bad
king, and there are some more silly things that happen... but basically
this is just a story about a dragon.

     The good things in DRAGONHEART are rather hard to come by.  A number
of scenes are genuinely exciting.  Pete Postlethwaite as a wayward monk is
the most fun of all the characters.  And regular readers will understand
why Dina Meyer's crimson-haired sidekick character earns my special praise
as well.  But of course, the only *real* reason to see the film is Draco,
the animated dragon.  He's not quite Puff... but he kicks a lot of ass.

     Then again, that may not be such a good reason at all.  It's really
hard to get excited about computer-generated effects these days, especially
when they are used in place of a decent story.  The really dumb script just
kills this picture.  For example:  the prince is such a jerk, I was ready
to kill him in the opening scene; Bowen's hatred of dragons is about the
most irrational thing in the world; can you imagine a dragon using the word
"Yikes?"; Bowen is essentially indestructible; how many dragons have a
voice like Sean Connery anyway--I think Bowen would be able to recognize
him by that alone; and much, much more!

     DRAGONHEART also manages to pack every fantasy movie clich=E9 in the
world into the picture, from the big scene teaching the villagers how to
fight to the damsel in distress to the big mano a mano duel at the end.
The only original take on any of this is Draco running amok in the scenes.
Add to that an finale that's supposed to be touching but turns out to be
just plain goofy, and you've got an enormous mess on your hands.

     The tagline to this film is, "You will believe."  Insert your own joke
here.

RATING:  **1/2

|------------------------------|
 \ ***** Perfection             \
  \ **** Good, memorable film    \
   \ *** Average, hits and misses \
    \ ** Sub-par on many levels    \
     \ * Unquestionably awful       \
      |------------------------------|

-Christopher Null  /  [email-masked]
-Screenwriter-Producer  /  Novelist-Publisher
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