Subject: Review: Armageddon (1998)

From: [email-masked] (Alex Fung)
Date: 20 Jul 1998 05:46:26 GMT

ARMAGEDDON (Touchstone - 1998)
Starring Bruce Willis, Billy Bob Thornton, Liv Tyler, Ben Affleck,
  Will Patton
Screenplay by Jonathan Hensleigh and J.J. Abrams
Produced by Jerry Bruckheimer, Gale Anne Hurd, Michael Bay
Directed by Michael Bay
Running time: 150 minutes

                    ** (out of four stars)
                     Alternate Rating: C

Note: Some may consider portions of the following text to be spoilers.
      Be forewarned.

    -------------------------------------------------------------

   From the outset, it's impossible to take the latest Earth-in-peril
   summer flick, ARMAGEDDON, very seriously.  The newest
   testosterone-ladened conflagration from the team of director Michael
   Bay and producer Jerry Bruckheimer, this is a film which suggests
   that when confronted by a Texas-sized asteroid headed on a
   collision-course with the planet, NASA has The Right Stuff to launch
   an emergency space shuttle mission within two weeks and slingshot two
   spacecraft around the moon in order to intercept the massive
   interloper hurtling through the heavens at 22,000 mph, but is utterly
   helpless when it comes to simply digging a hole in the rock where a
   nuke will be dropped to hopefully divert the impending calamity.
   
   To that ends, a civilian team of crack deep-core drillers led by
   roughneck Harry S. Stamper (Bruce Willis) is hurriedly brought on
   board by stoical NASA director Dan Truman (Billy Bob Thornton) for
   an extended weightlessness-training cram session in order to be shot
   shot into space and, of course, Save The World.  Along the way,
   legendary gems such as "Hang on!", "It's gonna blow!", "I've never
   missed a depth that I've aimed for, and by God, I'm not going to
   start now!", and of course, the venerable "Blue wire or red wire?"
   are uttered.  There's even an impromptu rendition of "Leaving On A
   Jet Plane".  Who could ask for more?  Get in line.

   "Do you think that somewhere in this world two people are doing the
   exact same thing that we're doing?" coos Harry's precious daughter,
   the doe-eyed Grace (Liv Tyler), to her hotshot oil driller beau A.J.
   (Ben Affleck) in the film's requisite (and hopelessly hokey) romantic
   subplot.  "I hope so," he responds with an admirably straight face.
   "Or what the hell are we trying to save?"  The question certainly
   comes to mind during the film's first half which introduces us to
   the assorted miscreants that make up our dubious heroes.  Presumably
   acting as counterpoint to the intellectual NASA staff, Harry's team
   is an ultra-blue collar collection of ragtag misfits that one can't
   help but liken to the CON AIR convicts -- and like that previous
   Bruckheimer-produced vehicle, each member of the drilling team is
   solely distinguished by a characteristic idiosyncrasy: Rockhound
   (Steve Buscemi) has a thing for buxom babes, Chick (Will Patton)
   wants to win back his son, and so forth.  Early exposition (opening
   with a brutal piece of would-be slapstick involving a gun-toting
   Harry chasing A.J. around an oil rig) succeeds in making this crew of
   ruffians about as endearing as the stormchasers from TWISTER -- which
   is to say that I found myself hoping the incoming "global killer"
   asteroid would smack them down first.  If these Dudes With Attitudes
   weren't already distasteful enough, when their expertise is called
   upon to prevent global annihilation, the film finds them negotiating
   for fringe benefits and incentives.  Welcome to heroism, 1990s-style.

   Make no mistake, inspirational heroism is what this effects-filled
   action film is intended to be all about, complete with at least two
   clips of our entire group of spacesuit-clad world-savers purposely
   striding towards the camera in slow motion as Trevor Rabin's
   ennobling score blares in the background.  Mr. Bay seems especially
   fond of the low-angle shot, employed liberally throughout ARMAGEDDON
   to lend stature and an imposing quality towards his subjects, but his
   rapid cutting style, already unnecessarily excessive in THE ROCK,
   seems completely out of control here.  There are countless points
   during the film's frenetic action sequences where one is at a loss
   as to exactly where certain characters are relative to others and so
   forth.  (The incoherent space station sequence is particularly
   problematic.)  The entire 150-minute film is assembled out of short
   edits which seem to run no more than a few seconds on average; I'd be
   very surprised if there are more than a handful of shots which run
   for more than twenty seconds.  The net visual effect is not quite
   enough to generate an epileptic reaction, although the threat looms
   everpresent.

   From start to finish, ARMAGEDDON is such a carefully crafted product
   abiding by bold jingoistic patriotism conventions that its biggest
   surprise comes from the list of top screenwriters (credited and
   uncredited) assembled to provide the film's backbone.  Ace Hollywood
   writers such as Jonathan Hensleigh, Tony Gilroy, Paul Attanasio (QUIZ
   SHOW, DONNIE BRASCO, ARMAGEDDON -- something looks ... out of place
   here), Ann Biderman, Scott Rosenberg (whom I can envision gleefully
   penning many of Rockhound's one-liners) and Robert Towne presumably
   picked up nice paycheques for their respective contributions to this
   by-the-numbers screenplay, but realistically any shades of subtlety
   present from the cast or script alike are utterly obliterated by the
   wildly overstated and calculated manner in which Mr. Bay presents
   each scenario.  This is the sort of film where it's not enough to
   simply have Grace weeping as her father's space-originated
   transmission cuts off; it has to have her weeping at a wall of
   monitors busily airing static as the camera slowly dollies out and
   maudlin music provides background ambiance.

   If the film is skimping on original ideas and appealing heroes, it
   does provide a lot of spectacle for two-and-a-half hours.  A meteor
   shower in the opening reel supplies plentiful destruction and mayhem
   in New York, and ARMAGEDDON becomes a dizzying series of incessant
   explosions, action and stunts once the gang goes spacebound.  In this
   respect, the film distinguishes itself from the schmaltzy treacliness
   of DEEP IMPACT, the DreamWorks / Paramount film which beat it to the
   North American market by two months -- eschewing its predecessor's
   sensitive approach, this is an action film through and through.  It's
   not an entirely unsuccessful diversion, full of energy and providing
   enough visceral stimuli to rival any music video, but in terms of
   genuine drama and suspense, ARMAGEDDON is remarkably hollow.

          - Alex Fung
          email: [email-masked]
          web  : http://www.ncf.carleton.ca/~aw220/

--
Alex Fung ([email-masked]) | http://www.ncf.carleton.ca/~aw220/
"Only a twerp would castigate an audience for its enjoyment of something."
                                        - Pauline Kael