From cnishida@netcom.com Wed Nov 8 05:08:24 1995 Received: from netcom4.netcom.com by soyokaze.biosci.ohio-state.edu (8.7.1/1.950110) id FAA05500; Wed, 8 Nov 1995 05:08:22 GMT Received: by netcom4.netcom.com (8.6.12/Netcom) id VAA01492; Tue, 7 Nov 1995 21:04:55 -0800 Date: Tue, 7 Nov 1995 21:04:55 -0800 (PST) From: "Craig H. Nishida" Subject: Re: [MB-MANGA] 1.4 To: MB-trans ML Message-ID: MIME-Version: 1.0 Content-Type: TEXT/PLAIN; charset=US-ASCII This posting bounced on Sunday night. Here it is again. I know I have a lot of edits to look over. I'll get to them in the next few days. Damn work's getting in the way!!! ^_^ On Sun, 5 Nov 1995, Akira writes: > 121-3 > Namura-sensei: > > You followed through with sa--bisu ni daibu supi--do ga > > a lot of speed on your on-service greatly speed (S) > > service. > > tsuite-kita na > > followed > > "You've added a lot of speed to your serve." is "added"? I took it to mean the tennis/general sports term, "follow (through)". "Follow through on your serve," "follow through on your swing," etc... You know, jock talk. --------------------------------------------------- > 121-4 > Namura-sensei: > > Now you just have to ato wa mou chotto KAKURITSU > > increase your service the-rest (T) a-bit-more probability > > percentage a bit more... > > Agenai to na > > if-not-increase (rhet) > > Again, the service -> serve change... No. I'm almost absolutely certain the tennis term for the rate at which your serves go in-bounds is "service percentage". --------------------------------------------------- > 125-5 > Yuu: [small smile] > > It appeals to me... ore wa KI ni Itte n da kedo > > I (T) liking (explan) but > > Any reason to avoid putting in a "but" for the "kedo" ? Because it makes no sense to me here. It (ie, the building) appeals to me, but... I like old buildings. That has no contrast whatsoever. --------------------------------------------------- > 130-1 > narration: > > I sorta get the impression YUU to MEIKO tte chotto kanji > > that Yuu and Meiko might be and (T) a-bit impression > > alike. > > NIte-ru ka mo > > are-resembling maybe > > Hmm... I prefer "similar", for some reason... maybe sentence flow: > YUU and MEIko MIGHT be SImiLAR. Definitely nah. --------------------------------------------------- > 133-4 > Yuu: _____ > > A rank of 'D'?!! ranku #D# da tte~~~~ > > "A "D" rank?!!" ? That's okay, too, but it's just that I'd be far less likely to say it that way. > Yuu: > > That's pathetic! hide----_ > > dreadful/awful > > I think it'd sound more teasing if you dropped the "that's"... I don't think it makes any difference. Between the two, I prefer the line as-is. Besides, it *does* elicit a "shut up!" from Miki. --------------------------------------------------- > 134-2 > Yuu: _ > > Something like that? anna no gaa? > > I think he's referring to the hippo and asking if it's truly cute: > "That one is?" Err. Exactly. --------------------------------------------------- > 139-2 > narration: > > She's a pretty girl... utsuwa kawaii KO... > > caliber pretty-girl > > I initially thought this was 'uwa", as in surprise... > Though I suppose the "tsu" isn't shrunk... You know, shrunk or not, it probably *is* a "wow". > I'd drop the "She's"... there's no "aitsu" or any pronoun... Agreed. I originally did it because it jarred with her spoken line. "A...A friend?" Too many similar sentence fragments. But putting in a "wow" sorta makes it okay. ===> 139-2 narration: Wow... A pretty girl... utsuwa... kawaii KO... pretty-girl Miki: A... A friend? to TOMOdachi......? --------------------------------------------------- > 140-5 > guy: > > Arimi! Are you still ARIMI! mada ka yo > > there?! still (?) > > "Arimi! Aren't you done yet!!?" ? Prefer line as-is. Without the negative. --------------------------------------------------- > 144-5 > Yuu: [off] > > You were awake that time, ME samete-taro ano TOKI > > weren't you? poss-was-awake that-time > > Considering there's only been one time, how about changing > it to "You were awake then" ? "that time" carries no implication of whether it's MANY or ONE other time. --------------------------------------------------- > 145-1 > Miki: > > Did you do... Such a anna koto ...shita no? > > thing? that-kind-of-thing did > > I know the above is correct, but it strikes me that in English, she'd > probably say something like "Did you do... that?". I think the line as-is is fine. Don't think it warrants a change. --------------------------------------------------- > 145-2 > Yuu: > > ...... Why? ...... do--shite tte > > ""Why", you ask?" ? I'm sure the quotes aren't necessary here. It's clear from context that Yuu is repeating her question. --------------------------------------------------- > 152-6 > > Muscat Kiss . masukatto kissu > > "Muscat" has got to be "mascot". The container says "Ribon" > and the ol' book spine says "Ribon mascot comics". :-) No way-y-y. The package of candy is covered with *grapes*. The muscat is a variety of grape used for making a sweet type of wine. The other reason why I really doubt it's "mascot" is that the manga appeared in "Ribbon" the manga magazine, and the manga-ka wouldn't be thinking about the tankoubon line it may or may not end up in. --------------------------------------------------- > From: "Craig H. Nishida" > Subject: Re: [MB-MANGA] 1.4 > > On Fri, 3 Nov 1995, Daniel writes: D> > On Fri, 3 Nov 1995, Jeanne writes: J> > On Sat, 4 Nov 1995, Daniel writes: D> > 130-1 narration: They always hide their true itsu-mo EGAO de kawashite sides behind a smile... always with-smiles dodge-(and) HONSHIN o MIsenai tte yu-- ka... true-mind (O) not-show say-that (?) > > D> > > > D> They always hide their true sides with a smile (or "with smiles") > > I kinda like the picture of "hiding behind", though. > > > > J> I suggest: "They always hide their real feelings behind a smile..." > > > > Sounds good, too. The trouble I get from the part of is > > that, true, it means "heart/feelings" but it also means "mind" and "intent". > > So I just lumped it all together and said one's "true side". (As opposed > > to one's false side.) That about covers heart AND mind. > If you want to lump everything together how about using "selves" ? > "hide their true selves" ? On 2nd glance, I bet the line is more like They always sidestep you with a smile and not show their true sides... --------------------------------------------------- Craig