From pthirose@rosarita.engr.ucdavis.edu Fri Nov 3 05:02:42 1995 Received: from ucdavis.ucdavis.edu by soyokaze.biosci.ohio-state.edu (8.7.1/1.950110) id FAA05314; Fri, 3 Nov 1995 05:02:36 GMT Received: from rosarita.engr.ucdavis.edu by ucdavis.ucdavis.edu (8.6.12/UCD3.4) id UAA24359; Thu, 2 Nov 1995 20:59:53 -0800 Received: from onion.engr.ucdavis.edu by rosarita.engr.ucdavis.edu (4.1/EACS-2.1) id AA27900; Thu, 2 Nov 95 20:59:53 PST Message-Id: <9511030459.AA27900@rosarita.engr.ucdavis.edu> From: pthirose@onion.engr.ucdavis.edu (Paul Hirose) Date: Thu, 2 Nov 1995 20:59:58 -0800 In-Reply-To: "Craig H. Nishida" "Re: [MB-MANGA] 1.3 (1/4)" (Oct 29, 8:02pm) X-Mailer: Mail User's Shell (7.2.5 10/14/92) To: mboy-trans@soyokaze.biosci.ohio-state.edu Subject: Re: [MB-MANGA] 1.3 (1/4) On Oct 29, 8:02pm, "Craig H. Nishida" wrote: > Subject: Re: [MB-MANGA] 1.3 (1/4) > 87-2 > narration: > By the way... chinami ni > > caption: [Jin] > Although he may not look kore demo GINKOUIN > like one--a bank clerk > > caption: [Youji] ___ > Believe it or not--a ichiou SHOUSHA man > company man that works fairly well. the 3rd one might be too strong, but i think it works. btw, are these 'captions' - it's not narration like he's talking/thinking On Oct 29, 8:02pm, "Craig H. Nishida" wrote: > Subject: Re: [MB-MANGA] 1.3 On Oct 29, 8:03pm, "Craig H. Nishida" wrote: > Subject: Re: [MB-MANGA] 1.3 (3/4) > 105-2 > Jin: > We've ended up hurting each konna ni KIZU tsuke au KEKKA ni > other so much... this-much meet-with-injury to-outcome > > Owatte-shimatta... > ended-(finality) works for me... the only thing is that the owatte-shimatta implies the current situation than the people per se. it's th people that's hurt each other, but it's the outcome that he's talking about 'ended up as' On Oct 29, 8:03pm, "Craig H. Nishida" wrote: > Subject: Re: [MB-MANGA] 1.3 (4/4) On Oct 29, 8:28pm, "Craig H. Nishida" wrote: > Subject: Re: [MB-MANGA] 1.3 (3/4) PH -- Paul Hirose : pthirose@ucdavis.edu : I don't speak for UC Davis, or Engr: ACS : Programmer/Analyst : ACS unless specified otherwise 1039 Academic Surge : ----------------------------------------------------- Davis, CA 95616-8770 : SysAdmin Motto - "/usr/bin/mv /my/life /dev/null" From pthirose@rosarita.engr.ucdavis.edu Fri Nov 3 18:19:01 1995 Received: from ucdavis.ucdavis.edu by soyokaze.biosci.ohio-state.edu (8.7.1/1.950110) id SAA06008; Fri, 3 Nov 1995 18:19:00 GMT Received: from rosarita.engr.ucdavis.edu by ucdavis.ucdavis.edu (8.6.12/UCD3.4) id KAA04857; Fri, 3 Nov 1995 10:16:15 -0800 Received: from anchovy.engr.ucdavis.edu by rosarita.engr.ucdavis.edu (4.1/EACS-2.1) id AA04614; Fri, 3 Nov 95 10:16:15 PST Message-Id: <9511031816.AA04614@rosarita.engr.ucdavis.edu> From: pthirose@anchovy.engr.ucdavis.edu (Paul Hirose) Date: Fri, 3 Nov 1995 10:16:07 -0800 In-Reply-To: jhedge@waterw.com (Jeanne Hedge) "Re: [MB-MANGA] 1.3 (1/4)" (Oct 29, 10:07pm) X-Mailer: Mail User's Shell (7.2.5 10/14/92) To: mboy-trans@soyokaze.biosci.ohio-state.edu Subject: Re: [MB-MANGA] 1.3 (1/4) On Oct 29, 10:07pm, Jeanne Hedge wrote: > Subject: Re: [MB-MANGA] 1.3 (1/4) On Oct 30, 4:01am, Yutaka Sasagawa wrote: > Subject: Re: [MB-MANGA] 1.3 On Oct 30, 4:12am, Yutaka Sasagawa wrote: > Subject: Re: [MB-MANGA] 1.3 (1/4) On Oct 30, 1:00pm, "Craig H. Nishida" wrote: > Subject: Re: [MB-MANGA] 1.3 On Nov 1, 5:44am, Daniel Lee wrote: > Subject: Re: [MB-MANGA] 1.3 On Nov 2, 7:31am, "Craig H. Nishida" wrote: > Subject: Re: [MB-MANGA] 1.3 > 87-1 > Yuu: > We're lucky we're so close ore-tachi wa GAKKOU CHIKAi kara > to school, hm. we (T) school from-close-by > > RAKU de ii yo na > at-ease okay (rhet) Prolby better the other way. Lucky isn't quite the right word anyway. raku is just easy, or laid back or no worries type of thing anyway. > 89-5 > Miki: [off] > Even though you actually honto wa suggoku NIGAi toko > have some awfully bitter true (T) awfully bitter points > points, unknowingly, > everyone's being deceived aru no ni > by the sweetness on the have even-though > surface. > minna uwabe no AMAsa ni > everyone the-surface 's by-sweet > > damasarete KIzuite-nai no > are-deceived-(and) aren't-aware that unnowningly tossed in thtere kinda makes it sound like Yuu has bad points that Yuu himself dosen't know about. it's the parents who dont know and are being fooled. PH -- Paul Hirose : pthirose@ucdavis.edu : I don't speak for UC Davis, or Engr: ACS : Programmer/Analyst : ACS unless specified otherwise 1039 Academic Surge : ----------------------------------------------------- Davis, CA 95616-8770 : SysAdmin Motto - "/usr/bin/mv /my/life /dev/null" From jhedge@waterw.com Fri Nov 3 23:24:51 1995 Received: from water.waterw.com by soyokaze.biosci.ohio-state.edu (8.7.1/1.950110) id XAA06954; Fri, 3 Nov 1995 23:24:49 GMT Received: by water.waterw.com (5.65/DEC-Ultrix/4.3) id AA27263; Fri, 3 Nov 1995 18:21:15 -0500 Date: Fri, 3 Nov 1995 18:21:15 -0500 Message-Id: <9511032321.AA27263@water.waterw.com> X-Sender: jhedge@water.waterw.com X-Mailer: Windows Eudora Version 1.4.4 Mime-Version: 1.0 Content-Type: text/plain; charset="us-ascii" To: mboy-trans@soyokaze.biosci.ohio-state.edu From: jhedge@waterw.com (Jeanne Hedge) Subject: Re: [MB-MANGA] 1.4 (3/4) >Part 3 of 4. > p 142-1 >[Tight shot of their shoes as they stand.] >Miki: > "Sure enough, you're "yappari anata no HOU ga" > better..." > ...was what she was ...to ka Itte-ta kedo... > saying... and-such was-saying but Sweat Bead Alert! p 143-5 >Yuu: [off] > Do you want to know how sotchi no HOU wa doko made yatta ka > far we went? that-way 's way (T) how-far did (?) > > SHIritai? > want-to-know > >Miki: [off] > I DON'T WANNA KNOW!! SHIritakunai_!! Sweat Bead Alert! 144-5 >[Flashback. Yuu kisses Miki, who was pretending to sleep in the health room.] >Yuu: [off] > You were awake that time, ME samete-taro ano TOKI > weren't you? poss-was-awake that-time > >Miki: [off] > You... You knew...? shi SHItte-te...? Sweat Bead Alert! ;-) Jeanne Hedge jhedge@water.waterw.com ================================================================ "Water, water everywhere, nor any drop to drink..." --Samuel Taylor Coleridge, 'The Rime of the Ancient Mariner' From jhedge@waterw.com Fri Nov 3 23:24:53 1995 Received: from water.waterw.com by soyokaze.biosci.ohio-state.edu (8.7.1/1.950110) id XAA06961; Fri, 3 Nov 1995 23:24:52 GMT Received: by water.waterw.com (5.65/DEC-Ultrix/4.3) id AA27257; Fri, 3 Nov 1995 18:21:12 -0500 Date: Fri, 3 Nov 1995 18:21:12 -0500 Message-Id: <9511032321.AA27257@water.waterw.com> X-Sender: jhedge@water.waterw.com X-Mailer: Windows Eudora Version 1.4.4 Mime-Version: 1.0 Content-Type: text/plain; charset="us-ascii" To: mboy-trans@soyokaze.biosci.ohio-state.edu From: jhedge@waterw.com (Jeanne Hedge) Subject: Re: [MB-MANGA] 1.4 (1/4) Hello all, Here's my comments on 1.4-1. p 123-4 >[A mite frazzled, she watches him as he walks away.] >Miki: > (......... (......... > > Spiteful person...) niku-ttarashii..) Is there some significance to that star-shaped symbol in Miki's thought balloon (like the sweat bead and the heart)? Jeanne Hedge jhedge@water.waterw.com ================================================================ "Water, water everywhere, nor any drop to drink..." --Samuel Taylor Coleridge, 'The Rime of the Ancient Mariner' From jhedge@waterw.com Fri Nov 3 23:24:51 1995 Received: from water.waterw.com by soyokaze.biosci.ohio-state.edu (8.7.1/1.950110) id XAA06955; Fri, 3 Nov 1995 23:24:49 GMT Received: by water.waterw.com (5.65/DEC-Ultrix/4.3) id AA27260; Fri, 3 Nov 1995 18:21:13 -0500 Date: Fri, 3 Nov 1995 18:21:13 -0500 Message-Id: <9511032321.AA27260@water.waterw.com> X-Sender: jhedge@water.waterw.com X-Mailer: Windows Eudora Version 1.4.4 Mime-Version: 1.0 Content-Type: text/plain; charset="us-ascii" To: mboy-trans@soyokaze.biosci.ohio-state.edu From: jhedge@waterw.com (Jeanne Hedge) Subject: Re: [MB-MANGA] 1.4 (2/4) >Part 2 of 4. > p 130-1 > >1 > >narration: > They always hide their true itsu-mo EGAO de kawashite > sides behind a smile... always with-smiles dodge-(and) > > HONSHIN o MIsenai tte yu-- ka... > true-mind (O) not-show say-that (?) My dictionary has HONSHIN as one's right mind/senses; real intention/motive; conscience I suggest: "They always hide their real feelings behind a smile..." p 131-2 > >Chiyako: ____________ > We're operating a beer SHISETSU -NAI no biaresutoran > garden inside the place. within-establishment 's beer-restaurant > > uchi no KEIEI na no > our-operation is Do we want to clarify that it's Chiyako's company that's running the beer garden. My first thought was that the family was running the beer garden (or is it beer garTen? German anyone?) > I suggest: "My company's running a beer garden there." Jeanne Hedge jhedge@water.waterw.com ================================================================ "Water, water everywhere, nor any drop to drink..." --Samuel Taylor Coleridge, 'The Rime of the Ancient Mariner' From jhedge@waterw.com Fri Nov 3 23:24:53 1995 Received: from water.waterw.com by soyokaze.biosci.ohio-state.edu (8.7.1/1.950110) id XAA06960; Fri, 3 Nov 1995 23:24:52 GMT Received: by water.waterw.com (5.65/DEC-Ultrix/4.3) id AA27266; Fri, 3 Nov 1995 18:21:17 -0500 Date: Fri, 3 Nov 1995 18:21:17 -0500 Message-Id: <9511032321.AA27266@water.waterw.com> X-Sender: jhedge@water.waterw.com X-Mailer: Windows Eudora Version 1.4.4 Mime-Version: 1.0 Content-Type: text/plain; charset="us-ascii" To: mboy-trans@soyokaze.biosci.ohio-state.edu From: jhedge@waterw.com (Jeanne Hedge) Subject: Re: [MB-MANGA] 1.4 (4/4) >Part 4 of 4. > p 148-2 >[He turns away in disgust, eyes closed. Meiko watches his back in surprise.] >Ginta: > What...? That Miki. ...nan da MIKI no yatsu Suggest: "What's with that Miki?" > what is that-Miki > > Even though at the start SAISHO wa anna ni MATSUURA ya > she didn't like Matsuura at-the-beginning that-much and > and his family that much... > KAZOKU no koto IYAgatte-ta kuse ni... > about-family was-disliking although > Suggest: "At first she didn't like Matsurra and his family much..." >Ginta: > What's so great about doko ga ii n da yo > a guy like him? which-part (S) good (explan) > > anna no > like-that (nom) > >3 >[Her gaze hardens.] Her who? (must clarify things for folks who don't have the manga ) Suggest: [Meiko's gaze hardens.] > >4 >Meiko: > Hold on, Ginta. chotto GINTA > >Meiko: > You're in no position to anata sou iu koto Ieru > say something like that, you that-kind-of-thing can-say > are you? > TACHIBA ja nai desho? > a-position poss-are-not > Suggest: "Are you in any position to say something like that?" >5 >[Ginta has all expression knocked out of his face. He stares blankly at > a glaring Meiko.] > >6 >Meiko: [off] > Ever since *then*, it seems ......MIKI *are* IRAI zutto > that Miki hasn't found since-*then* all-the-time > someone to like... > SUki na HITO wa dekinakatta > person-to-like (T) wasn't-formed > > mitai da kedo > seem but > > But lately, she's starting SAIKIN dandan MATSUURA-kun ni > to be attracted to lately little-by-little by-Matsuura > Matsuura-kun, bit by bit. > HIkare-hajimete-ru > is-starting-to-be-attracted I prefer the more literal 'little-by-little' to 'bit-by-bit' here. 150-6 >[She visualizes the pretty girl she and Yuu met at the amusement park.] >narration: > Suzuki Arimi... ----SUZUKI ARIMI > >narration: > How often has she phoned are kara NANDO ka > Yuu since then. since-then how-many-times (?) > > YUU ni DENWA ga atta > to-Yuu phoned Again, I prefer the literal 'how many times' to 'often'. And don't forget this is a question, not a statement: "How many times has she phoned Yuu since then?" > >--------------------------------------------------- >-------------------End of Chapter------------------ >--------------------------------------------------- > > at the end of each subsequent chapter.> > >Scorecard: > > Rumi <---> Youji Miki <---> Yuu > ^ ^ ^ ^ > | | | | > v v v > Jin <---> Chiyako Ginta Arimi > Oh, I *like* this idea! Jeanne Hedge jhedge@water.waterw.com ================================================================ "Water, water everywhere, nor any drop to drink..." --Samuel Taylor Coleridge, 'The Rime of the Ancient Mariner' From cnishida@netcom.com Sat Nov 4 01:46:54 1995 Received: from netcom18.netcom.com by soyokaze.biosci.ohio-state.edu (8.7.1/1.950110) id BAA07069; Sat, 4 Nov 1995 01:46:53 GMT Received: by netcom18.netcom.com (8.6.12/Netcom) id RAA12103; Fri, 3 Nov 1995 17:43:50 -0800 Date: Fri, 3 Nov 1995 17:43:50 -0800 (PST) From: "Craig H. Nishida" Subject: Re: [MB-MANGA] 1.3 To: MB-trans ML Message-ID: MIME-Version: 1.0 Content-Type: TEXT/PLAIN; charset=US-ASCII A few more edits for chapter 1.3... On Fri, 3 Nov 1995, Paul writes: > > 87-2 > > narration: > > By the way... chinami ni > > > > caption: [Jin] > > Although he may not look kore demo GINKOUIN > > like one--a bank clerk > > > > caption: [Youji] ___ > > Believe it or not--a ichiou SHOUSHA man > > company man > > that works fairly well. the 3rd one might be too strong, but i think it > works. btw, are these 'captions' - it's not narration like he's > talking/thinking I'm 99% sure these are captions. The pictures of the parents are portraits. These pictures just suddenly pop into the story. The writing is grouped like it's a caption--that is, the is in tiny print above a large . Likewise for over . All the print is below the portrait. > > > 114-7 > > > Rumi: > > > What? nani? > > > Rumi: > > > Sounds like she's talking YUU-kun to HANAshite-ru mitai > > > with Yuu-kun. with-Yuu is-talking seems > > > Jin: > > > Ehh?! ee?! > > > How did he get in? dokkara haitta no > > > = from-where entered (?) > > where did he come [in] from? . i dunno, maybe ok the wya it is I think I prefer it a bit the way it is. > Prolby better the other way. Lucky isn't quite the right word anyway. raku > is just easy, or laid back or no worries type of thing anyway. ===> 87-1 Yuu: Since we're so close to ore-tachi wa GAKKOU CHIKAi kara school, we can take it we (T) school since-close-by easy, right. RAKU de ii yo na at-ease okay (rhet) > > 89-5 > > Miki: [off] > > Even though you actually honto wa suggoku NIGAi toko > > have some awfully bitter true (T) awfully bitter points > > points, unknowingly, > > everyone's being deceived aru no ni > > by the sweetness on the have even-though > > surface. > > minna uwabe no AMAsa ni > > everyone the-surface 's by-sweet > > > > damasarete KIzuite-nai no > > are-deceived-(and) aren't-aware > > that unnowningly tossed in thtere kinda makes it sound like Yuu has bad > points that Yuu himself dosen't know about. it's the parents who dont > know and are being fooled. That would be "Even though, unknowingly, you actually have some..." The "unknowingly" links to the subject it's tagged with--"everyone". Craig