From akirak@unixg.ubc.ca Thu Oct 26 12:25:38 1995 Received: from unixg.ubc.ca by soyokaze.biosci.ohio-state.edu (8.6.10/1.950110) id MAA20902; Thu, 26 Oct 1995 12:25:34 -0400 Received: from interchg.ubc.ca (akirak@interchg.ubc.ca [137.82.27.42]) by unixg.ubc.ca (8.6.12/8.6.12) with SMTP id JAA24793 for ; Thu, 26 Oct 1995 09:22:51 -0700 Date: Thu, 26 Oct 1995 09:22:51 -0700 (PDT) From: Matthew Akira Klippenstein X-Sender: akirak@interchg.ubc.ca To: mboy-trans@soyokaze.biosci.ohio-state.edu Subject: Re: [MB-MANGA] 1.3 (1/4) In-Reply-To: <199510250649.GAA17983@soyokaze.biosci.ohio-state.edu> Message-ID: MIME-Version: 1.0 Content-Type: TEXT/PLAIN; charset=US-ASCII 'Chiwa! Marmalade Boy Volume 1, Chapter 3 pages 83-119 Written and illustrated by Yoshizumi Wataru --------------------------------------------------- p 86 1 narration: > Well, he thinks I was maa MUkou wa kotchi ga > asleep... well the-other-party (T) this-way (S) > > NEte-ta to OMOtte-ru n da > was-sleeping is-thinking-that (explan) > > shi > and-besides NEte-ta is "was sleeping", so how about "thinks I was sleeping..." ? narration: > So I can pretend like I SHIran KAO shite-reba ii > don't know... not-know face if-am-making okay > > n da kedo sa... > (explan) but I don't think you need the "like" here. --------------------------------------------------- p 87 1 Yuu: > They left for work a long tokku ni KAISHA Itta yo > time ago. long-ago went-to-office For some reason I'd prefer "awhile ago". I only use "a long time ago" in conversation for things which happened at least a few hours before. --------------------------------------------------- p 88 3 Miki: > Why are you handing me nande terebi RAN dake yokosu no? > only the TV section? why just-TV-section give "Why only give me the TV section?" ? He's already handed her the section, right? --------------------------------------------------- p 89 2 Miki: [off] > I don't like that very anmari SUki ja nai... > much... -so-much like am-not Replace "that" with "it"... Yuu: [off] > Don't be so picky. ze--taku iu na yo (...Craig's probable retort to that last suggestion of mine... ^_^) --------------------------------------------------- p 90 3 Yuu: ________ > One who's only prickly piripiri karai bakka no > and peppery. burning/prickly peppery only (nom) How about "Thoroughly prickly and peppery -- " ? I don't think you need the "one who's" here... 4 Miki: > ......!! ......!! sweat-bead alert! ^_^ --------------------------------------------------- p 91 3 Miki: [off] > (It didn't happen!!) (nakatta koto ni suru!!) > wasn't-there to-decide-to-do "I'll make (I'll act) as if it never happened!" ? There should be some way to insert the "ni suru" without being unduly wordy... --------------------------------------------------- p 92 3 Miki: [off] > Then maybe I'll do just jaa sou shiyo_ ka naa > that. then like-that shall-do I-wonder I don't think you need the "just" there... ----------------------------- From: pthirose@linguisa.engr.ucdavis.edu (Paul Hirose) Subject: Re: [MB-MANGA] 1.3 (1/4) > > p 83 > > 2 > > Rumi/Chiyako: > > See you later. Itte-rassha--i > Have a nice day? I dunno...just more 'parent-ish' I'd stick with the original. > > p 85 > > 1 > > Miki: ____ > > (Yesterday, I passed on (kinou wa YUUGE pasu shite > > dinner, suffered in my yesterday (T) dinner pass-(and) > > room and avoided seeing > > him...) HEYA ni komatte Au no > > in-room be-troubled-(and) meeting/seeing > > > > YOkechatta kedo) > > avoided-(finality) but > > isn't it komOtte? I think that was the word for 'stay in', sa opposed to > 'komatte' which is as you have, troubled. Heh. Didn't notice that. Good eyes, Paul... > > p 86 > > 1 > > narration: > > So I can pretend like I SHIran KAO shite-reba ii > > don't know... not-know face if-am-making okay > > > > n da kedo sa... > > (explan) but > > ...but? Sure. Something like "like I don't know, but..." maybe? > > p 87 > > Yuu: > > Since we're so close to ore-tachi wa GAKKOU CHIKAi kara > > school, we can take it we (T) school since-close-by > > easy, right. > > RAKU de ii yo na > > at-ease okay (rhet) > > I think this is more of a statement - ok, maybe rhet-q too. Maybe toss > in a 'it's nice that we're so close to school' Hmm... something like "It's nice that we're so close to school -- we can take it easy, can't we." maybe? > 2 > caption: [Jin] > Even now--a bank clerk kore demo GINKOUIN > > caption: [Youji] ___ > For now--a company man ichiou SHOUSHA man > the 'kore demo' is the same type of kore-demo used when Meiko was trying to > comfort Miki. He's not exactly putting himself down but basically he's > saying that 'even i am' or 'altho what you see isn't much, i still am > an actual bank clerk, believe it or not'. that's probly making it too strong, > but that's the direction we're going. even-now doesn't do it right. > > ichiou also goes hand in hand with it, and makes it a little bit stronger. > It's kinda like 'technically, i really am' or somethin glike that. i > dont think technically is the right spin tho. "Thus far -- a bank clerk" "Currently -- a company man" ? > > caption: [Rumi] ________ > > Works for a cosmetics KESHOUHIN me--ka-- KINMU > > maker cosmetics maker work/service > > > > caption: [Chiyako] ________ > > Works for a maker of YOUSHU me--ka-- KINMU > > Western-style liquor foreign-liquor maker work/service > Isn't kinmu in-chrage? Hmm... something like "manager" perhaps? I think "cosmetics manufacturer" and "Western-style liquor brewer (producer)" are more appropriate appellations of the companies... > > p 88 > > 5 > > caption with arrow pointing at Miki's head: > > Because they're direct atatte-iru no de iikaesenai > > hits, she can't talk back. is-hitting (nom) because can't-talk-back > direct-hit is a bit much. he's right, so i I don't think so -- he's characterized her dead-on, hasn't he? > > p 91 > > 2 > > Miki: > > (...... What happened (...... kinou no koto wa NANI ka > > yesterday was an accident.) about-yesterday (T) what (?) > > ________ > > no machigai datta n da) > > (nom) accident was (explan) > nani-ka-no...what happened yesterday was some sort/kind of accident That sounds pretty good... "some sort of accident"... Sure. From: jhedge@waterw.com (Jeanne Hedge) Subject: Re: [MB-MANGA] 1.3 (1/4) > >p 83 > >2 > >[Jin, dressed in a suit and tie and carrying a briefcase, heads toward the > > door, casting a glance back at Youji, Chiyako and Rumi. Youji, also in a > > suit and tie, rises from his seat at the breakfast table. Chiyako, in a > > dress with sleeves rolled up, smiles back while doing the dishes. Seated > > at the table, Rumi, in a blouse and skirt, pauses from her cup of coffee > > to smile gently at her ex-husband.] > > How do we know she's wearing a skirt? We don't see her legs during this > scene so we can't really see what she's wearing on her lower body. Same > thing with Chiyako. We don't see her lower body, so how do we know she's > wearing a dress? Hee hee! Good question... >--------------------------------------------------- >p 85 > >3 >Miki dramatic FX: > kaaa > > Isn't the "crow-kaa" one of those foreshadowing your 'doom' type effects? > Do we want to put a note to that effect here? I think it's a general embarrassment effect... The only real 'doom' foreshadower I can think of at the moment is , the sound of someone gulping nervously... > >--------------------------------------------------- > >p 89 > > > >1 > >Yuu: > > There's none. nee yo > > = not-have > > > I suggest: "It's empty." Hmm... Here I'd use the original because it isn't specified whether the jar is empty or whether there's no jar... > >5 > >[A blank panel.] > >Miki: [off] > > Really, even though you have honto wa suggoku NIGAi toko > > some awfully bitter points, true (T) awfully bitter points > > everyone's unaware and > > being deceived by the aru no ni > > sweetness on the surface. have even-though > > > > minna uwabe no AMAsa ni > > everyone the-surface 's by-sweet > > > > damasarete KIzuite-nai no > > are-deceived-(and) aren't-aware > > I suggest: "It's true, everyone's unaware of your awfully bitter points, and > are deceived by the sweetness on the surface." For some reason I think the mention of the bitter points should come before the "everyone's unaware" bit, as it does in the Japanese original... Well, my suggestion for this line goes: "...bitter points, everyone's deceived by your superficial sweetness, and unaware of them." ? Akira From akirak@unixg.ubc.ca Thu Oct 26 12:26:10 1995 Received: from unixg.ubc.ca by soyokaze.biosci.ohio-state.edu (8.6.10/1.950110) id MAA20917; Thu, 26 Oct 1995 12:26:08 -0400 Received: from interchg.ubc.ca (akirak@interchg.ubc.ca [137.82.27.42]) by unixg.ubc.ca (8.6.12/8.6.12) with SMTP id JAA24954 for ; Thu, 26 Oct 1995 09:23:27 -0700 Date: Thu, 26 Oct 1995 09:23:26 -0700 (PDT) From: Matthew Akira Klippenstein X-Sender: akirak@interchg.ubc.ca To: mboy-trans@soyokaze.biosci.ohio-state.edu Subject: Re: [MB-MANGA] 1.3 (2/4) In-Reply-To: <199510250650.GAA17994@soyokaze.biosci.ohio-state.edu> Message-ID: MIME-Version: 1.0 Content-Type: TEXT/PLAIN; charset=US-ASCII 'Chiwa! Marmalade Boy Volume 1, Chapter 3 pages 83-119 Written and illustrated by Yoshizumi Wataru --------------------------------------------------- p 93 1 Miki: > You're an expert at YOUJI-san OSHIe-KATA JOUZU-- > teaching, Youji-san. way-of-teaching an-expert Isn't JOUZU simply "good at" ? "You're great at teaching, Youji-san." ? 2 Jin: > Ah... a... Sweat-bead alert! ^_^ --------------------------------------------------- p 95 4 > narration: > Oh no! ...mazui! > narration: > Before I realized it... atashi tteba itsu no mani ka > I I-tell-you before-one-knows She sweats in this panel, too -- though I guess it wouldn't be a sweat-bead. --------------------------------------------------- p 97 4 Miki: > And so we decided to pool de purezento o-KANE DAshiatte > our money and we'll buy and-so present money contribute- > a present together. jointly-(and) > > issho ni KAou tte koto ni natta no > together shall-buy (T) it-was-decided "...and buy a present together" The "we'll" is unnecessary. > I can't buy anything decent hitori ja > by myself, can I?! by-oneself-(T) > ____ > roku na mono KAenai desho?! > -good-thing poss-can't-buy > > Therefore... da kara... I think "So..." would be more appropriate at the end there... I rarely use 'therefore' in conversation... --------------------------------------------------- p 98 4 Miki: [brightly] > If it's that earring, then sono iyaringu dattara batchiri > it's exactly to Mama's that-earring if-it-is right-on > taste! ____ > mama no KONOmi! > Mama's-taste "...it's exactly Mama's taste!" --------------------------------------------------- p 100 2 > Yuu: > ...wasn't it? ja ne-- no? > > That atmosphere... ano FUN'IKI wa > > Yuu: _______ > ...on top of that, was shikamo soutou ken'aku > pretty tense. moreover pretty tense Hmm... now, "That atmosphere..." is in a printed word bubble while the rest of it is just handwritten in. The way you have it, Craig, it looks like a continuation of the same line... how about "Furthermore, it was pretty tense." --------------------------------------------------- p 101 2 Yuu: > Somehow, it seems your omae no RYOUSHIN to ore no RYOUSHIN to > parents and mine had a with-your-parents-and-my-parents > clash of opinions. > de nanka IKEN ga > because somehow opinion (S) > > TAIRITSU shita mitai > were-opposed seems "...had a difference of opinions." ? 4 Miki: > Maybe it won't be patched HAYAku NAKANAOri shite-kunnai ka naa... > up quickly... quickly not-make-up I-wonder I think this is "I wonder if this'll be patched up quickly..." --------------------------------------------------- From: jhedge@waterw.com (Jeanne Hedge) Subject: Re: [MB-MANGA] 1.3 (2/4) > >--------------------------------------------------- > >p 102 > > > >1 > >Ginta: > > ......... ......... > > > >2 > >[To Ginta's surprise, Meiko speaks up beside him.] > > This sounds like he's surprised because she says something. I think he's > surprised when she says something because he didn't know she was there. > > I suggest: [Meiko suddenly appears beside Ginta.] Sure. btw: who are the Stepford parents? -------------------------------- Paul's comments: On Oct 25, 6:50am, "Craig H. Nishida" wrote: > Subject: [MB-MANGA] 1.3 (2/4) > > p 95 > > narration: > > Before I realized it... atashi tteba itsu no mani ka > > I I-tell-you before-one-knows > > > > 5 > > [A black panel.] > > narration: > > That abnormal family is ano IJOU na KAZOKU ni > > something... that abnormal family to > > > > Miki: [off] > > (...I've gotten used to!!) (najinde-shimatte-iru!!) > > am-growing-accustomed-to-(finality) > > before i even knew it, i was getting familiar/used-to that abornomal family. > ok, that flips the bottom two sentences, but right now, as good as it is, > just doesn't work :) Yeah, I gotta agree with Paul here... 1 > Miki: > > (I totally screwed up!!) (ZETTAI mazui!!) > > absoluteness unwise > mazui is more like unwise rather than a 'mistake' per se. I think this is more like "This is absolutely terrible!" or something like that... > > 3 > > Miki: > > I won't poke my nose KAREra no koto ni > > into their affairs... into-their-affairs > > > > KUCHI DAshi wa shinai > > poke-one's-nose-into (T) not-do > > affairs but > > Don't count me as part of kedo atashi wa NAKAMA ni wa > > that group! but I (T) in-a-company (contrast) > > > > hainnai! > > not-include > > but i wont join in their group I'd put the "but" in the second part -- I like Paul's suggestion. > > 4 > > Meiko: > > You can be friendly and sonna koto iwazu ni > > leave something like that that-kind-of-thing tacitly > > unsaid... > > NAKA yoku yareba ii no ni... > > on-good-terms if-do okay even-though > close :) rather than saying that kind of thing, it'd be better if you > were to just join in friendly. Sure. Except I think it'd have to be "friendlily" or something then. How about "friendly-like" instead? > > p 99 > > Miki: __ ____ > > Go to your rooms, you two. ...anta-tachi wa HEYA ni > > you-(and-assoc) (T) to-rooms > > > > Itte-nasai > > go-(command) > > put youtwo at the front Yeah. > > p 104 > > 1 > > Chiyako: __________ > > Changing partners after IMAsara pa--tona-- o > > such a long time was more after-so-long-a-time partner (O) > > than we could handle. > > KAeru nante MURI datta no yo > > change the-likes-of was-impossible > > was indeed impossible [after all] Sure. Akira From pthirose@rosarita.engr.ucdavis.edu Thu Oct 26 14:53:11 1995 Received: from ucdavis.ucdavis.edu by soyokaze.biosci.ohio-state.edu (8.6.10/1.950110) id OAA21341; Thu, 26 Oct 1995 14:53:04 -0400 Received: from rosarita.engr.ucdavis.edu by ucdavis.ucdavis.edu (8.6.12/UCD3.4) id LAA13366; Thu, 26 Oct 1995 11:50:01 -0700 Received: from linguisa.engr.ucdavis.edu by rosarita.engr.ucdavis.edu (4.1/EACS-2.1) id AA15391; Thu, 26 Oct 95 11:49:54 PDT Message-Id: <9510261849.AA15391@rosarita.engr.ucdavis.edu> From: pthirose@linguisa.engr.ucdavis.edu (Paul Hirose) Date: Thu, 26 Oct 1995 11:49:54 -0700 In-Reply-To: Matthew Akira Klippenstein "Re: [MB-MANGA] 1.3 (1/4)" (Oct 26, 4:25pm) X-Mailer: Mail User's Shell (7.2.5 10/14/92) To: mboy-trans@soyokaze.biosci.ohio-state.edu Subject: Re: [MB-MANGA] 1.3 (1/4) On Oct 26, 4:25pm, Matthew Akira Klippenstein wrote: > Subject: Re: [MB-MANGA] 1.3 (1/4) > p 86 > 1 > narration: > > Well, he thinks I was maa MUkou wa kotchi ga > > asleep... well the-other-party (T) this-way (S) > > > > NEte-ta to OMOtte-ru n da > > was-sleeping is-thinking-that (explan) > > > > shi > > and-besides > NEte-ta is "was sleeping", so how about "thinks I was sleeping..." ? sure > narration: > > So I can pretend like I SHIran KAO shite-reba ii > > don't know... not-know face if-am-making okay > > > > n da kedo sa... > > (explan) but > I don't think you need the "like" here. either. but the iinda kedo is 'so it'd be ok if i pretended [like] i didn't know'. > p 91 > 3 > Miki: [off] > > (It didn't happen!!) (nakatta koto ni suru!!) > > wasn't-there to-decide-to-do > "I'll make (I'll act) as if it never happened!" ? > There should be some way to insert the "ni suru" without being > unduly wordy... yah, that'd b emore accurate > p 92 > 3 > Miki: [off] > > Then maybe I'll do just jaa sou shiyo_ ka naa > > that. then like-that shall-do I-wonder > I don't think you need the "just" there... eitehr > From: pthirose@linguisa.engr.ucdavis.edu (Paul Hirose) > Subject: Re: [MB-MANGA] 1.3 (1/4) > > > p 85 > > > 1 > > > Miki: ____ > > > (Yesterday, I passed on (kinou wa YUUGE pasu shite > > > dinner, suffered in my yesterday (T) dinner pass-(and) > > > room and avoided seeing > > > him...) HEYA ni komatte Au no > > > in-room be-troubled-(and) meeting/seeing > > > > > > YOkechatta kedo) > > > avoided-(finality) but > Heh. Didn't notice that. Good eyes, Paul... Well I dunno - I dont have the manga. Just guessing actually. > > > p 87 > > > Yuu: > > > Since we're so close to ore-tachi wa GAKKOU CHIKAi kara > > > school, we can take it we (T) school since-close-by > > > easy, right. > > > RAKU de ii yo na > > > at-ease okay (rhet) > Hmm... something like "It's nice that we're so close to school -- we > can take it easy, can't we." maybe? something like that. > > 2 > > caption: [Jin] > > Even now--a bank clerk kore demo GINKOUIN > > > > caption: [Youji] ___ > > For now--a company man ichiou SHOUSHA man > "Thus far -- a bank clerk" > "Currently -- a company man" ? I wouldn't do the first one. And currently is more a time-reference to me, and I don't really think ichiou is a reference to time directly. I dunno. maybe someone else can explain it better :) > > > p 88 > > > 5 > > > caption with arrow pointing at Miki's head: > > > Because they're direct atatte-iru no de iikaesenai > > > hits, she can't talk back. is-hitting (nom) because can't-talk-bac > > direct-hit is a bit much. he's right, so i > I don't think so -- he's characterized her dead-on, hasn't he? I dont remember. Just this line in particular tho - attete-iru is just 'you're right' or something. how right you are, whether direct-hit or just sorta in the ballpark...not sure > From: jhedge@waterw.com (Jeanne Hedge) > Subject: Re: [MB-MANGA] 1.3 (1/4) > > >p 89 > > >1 > > >Yuu: > > > There's none. nee yo > > > = not-have > > I suggest: "It's empty." > jar is empty or whether there's no jar... true, but i think the jar's just empty, isn't it? On Oct 26, 4:26pm, Matthew Akira Klippenstein wrote: > Subject: Re: [MB-MANGA] 1.3 (2/4) > p 93 > 1 > Miki: > > You're an expert at YOUJI-san OSHIe-KATA JOUZU-- > > teaching, Youji-san. way-of-teaching an-expert > Isn't JOUZU simply "good at" ? "You're great at teaching, Youji-san." ? yah - it's good at. how good, expert or great, or whatever i dunno. > p 97 > 4 > Miki: > > And so we decided to pool de purezento o-KANE DAshiatte > > our money and we'll buy and-so present money contribute- > > a present together. jointly-(and) > > > > issho ni KAou tte koto ni natta no > > together shall-buy (T) it-was-decided > "...and buy a present together" The "we'll" is unnecessary. yah, but the 'issho' is there, so may as well leave it > > I can't buy anything decent hitori ja > > by myself, can I?! by-oneself-(T) > > ____ > > roku na mono KAenai desho?! > > -good-thing poss-can't-buy > > > > Therefore... da kara... > I think "So..." would be more appropriate at the end there... either > p 101 > Miki: > > Maybe it won't be patched HAYAku NAKANAOri shite-kunnai ka naa... > > up quickly... quickly not-make-up I-wonder > I think this is "I wonder if this'll be patched up quickly..." kunnai is 'hope' - short for shite-kurenai. so 'i hope they make up quickly' > From: jhedge@waterw.com (Jeanne Hedge) > Subject: Re: [MB-MANGA] 1.3 (2/4) > 1 > > Miki: > > > (I totally screwed up!!) (ZETTAI mazui!!) > > > absoluteness unwise > > mazui is more like unwise rather than a 'mistake' per se. > I think this is more like "This is absolutely terrible!" the aboslutely comes from zettai. but as for mazui, yah - terrible or bad occurence. i guess mistake works PH -- Paul Hirose : pthirose@ucdavis.edu : I don't speak for UC Davis, or Engr: ACS : Programmer/Analyst : ACS unless specified otherwise 1039 Academic Surge : ----------------------------------------------------- Davis, CA 95616-8770 : SysAdmin Motto - "/usr/bin/mv /my/life /dev/null" From jhedge@waterw.com Thu Oct 26 16:48:22 1995 Received: from water.waterw.com by soyokaze.biosci.ohio-state.edu (8.6.10/1.950110) id QAA21905; Thu, 26 Oct 1995 16:48:20 -0400 Received: by water.waterw.com (5.65/DEC-Ultrix/4.3) id AA26673; Thu, 26 Oct 1995 16:43:53 -0400 Date: Thu, 26 Oct 1995 16:43:53 -0400 Message-Id: <9510262043.AA26673@water.waterw.com> X-Sender: jhedge@water.waterw.com X-Mailer: Windows Eudora Version 1.4.4 Mime-Version: 1.0 Content-Type: text/plain; charset="us-ascii" To: mboy-trans@soyokaze.biosci.ohio-state.edu From: jhedge@waterw.com (Jeanne Hedge) Subject: Re: [MB-MANGA] 1.3 (2/4) > >btw: who are the Stepford parents? > Oh dear, have I dated myself? There was this movie in the '70s called 'The Stepford Wives'. It was about this group of businessmen who all lived in the same suburb who secretly replaced their wives with replica androids who were 'perfect women' -- always submissive, always smiling, always keeping perfect homes, always waiting on the men hand and foot. By the end of the movie there was one woman left who hadn't been swapped out, and she was trying to escape from the town. Of course she didn't make it. There were a couple sequels, I think called 'The Return of the Stepford Wives' and 'The Stepford Children'. Anyway, to my mind, this is the first mistake the parents have made in MB. Otherwise they've been perfect parents -- immaculate house, always smiling, no problems. In other words, 'Stepford parents' We now return you to your regular Mailing List subject matter.... Jeanne Hedge jhedge@water.waterw.com ================================================================ "Water, water everywhere, nor any drop to drink..." --Samuel Taylor Coleridge, 'The Rime of the Ancient Mariner' From akirak@unixg.ubc.ca Thu Oct 26 22:18:01 1995 Received: from unixg.ubc.ca by soyokaze.biosci.ohio-state.edu (8.6.10/1.950110) id WAA22435; Thu, 26 Oct 1995 22:17:57 -0400 Received: from interchg.ubc.ca (akirak@interchg.ubc.ca [137.82.27.42]) by unixg.ubc.ca (8.6.12/8.6.12) with SMTP id TAA23486 for ; Thu, 26 Oct 1995 19:15:12 -0700 Date: Thu, 26 Oct 1995 19:15:11 -0700 (PDT) From: Matthew Akira Klippenstein X-Sender: akirak@interchg.ubc.ca To: mboy-trans@soyokaze.biosci.ohio-state.edu Subject: Re: [MB-MANGA] 1.3 (3/4) In-Reply-To: <199510250650.GAA18005@soyokaze.biosci.ohio-state.edu> Message-ID: MIME-Version: 1.0 Content-Type: TEXT/PLAIN; charset=US-ASCII 'Chiwa! Marmalade Boy Volume 1, Chapter 3 pages 83-119 Written and illustrated by Yoshizumi Wataru --------------------------------------------------- p 105 2 Jin: > It was impossible, after yappari MURI datta n da > all. after-all was-impossible (explan) > > In spite of your opposition, MIKI no HANTAI o oshikitte > Miki, we began this life. 's opposition (O) in-spite-of > > kono SEIKATSU o HAJImeta no ni > this-life (O) started even-though Heh. "Daughter knows best". ===Sidebar=== FREE TALK (4): > Since becoming a member of SHAKAIJIN to natte kara > society, I chiefly take my turning-out-a-member-of-society since > pleasure from watching games _____ > on TV, scarcely having any wa, JIBUN de purei suru > spare time to play myself. (contrast) by-self play > ____ > hima wa hotondo naku, > spare-time (T) scarcely -have > > moppara #TV# KANSEN de > chiefly watch-a-game-on-TV > > TANOshinde-imasu. > am-taking-pleasure-in Is that initial bit something like "Upon entering (high) society" ? How about keeping the phrase order the same? "...I've scarcely had spare time to play myself, so I take my pleasure chiefly from watching games on TV." --------------------------------------------------- p 106 3 narration: > Why did it suddenly nande ikinari so-- yu-- koto ni > turn out that way?! why suddenly to-that-kind-of-thing > > natchatta wake?! > became-(finality) reason "...turn out like this?!" ...at any rate, replace the "that" with "this"... 5 Chiyako: > It would be better if we KOISHIKAWA-san to no SETTEN wa > severed all contact with with-Koishikawa (nom) contact-point (T) > the Koishikawas... > nakushita HOU ga ii kara... > did-away-with better that's-why I think the "kara..." here merits an appended "so..." : "Koishikawas, so..." --------------------------------------------------- p 108 1 Miki: [earnestly] > Is it all right to simply sonna kantan ni KETSURON > come to a conclusion like like-that simply a-conclusion > that?! > DAshichatte ii no?! > turning-out-(finality) okay Considering what she says in the next line, perhaps "jump to a conclusion" would be a good substitution for "come to a conclusion" ? > Don't you feel any regret?! KOUKAI shinai?! > not-feel-regret Paul> won't you regret it I figured it was something like "Don't you have any lingering doubts?" Of the other two, I prefer Craig's by a sliver... seems to work in better with the lines before... 4 Miki: > So I was beginning to think kekkou umaku yatte-ike > that maybe it looked like quite go-and-manage-successfully > this would work out pretty > well... -sou ka na tte > look-as-if I-wonder (quote) > > OMOi hajimete-ta...... > a-thought was-beginning Maybe this is just the latitude speaking, but I'd strongly prefer "...that it looked like maybe this would work out okay..." I mean, she's talking about how "maybe things would work out", instead of "maybe it looks promising". Having the "maybe" in front of the "it looked like" shifts the uncertainty from the weird relationship to her perceptions about it. And I think the uncertainty is about the relationship. I'd also strongly prefer a neutral word such as "okay" or "alright" to "pretty well" -- I can't see her imagining things'd turn out pretty well but I can imagine her seeing them as turning out okay. --------------------------------------------------- p 109 1 Miki: [off] > It was a short while, MIJIKAi AIDA da kedo > but even though we were short/brief interval is but > getting along together, to > completely cut all ties issho ni KUrashite-ta no ni > like that... together were-getting-along even-though > > MATTAku EN KItchau > completely cut-connections-(finality) > > nante sonna no...... > the-likes-of like-that (nom) Paul> although it was but for a short while... Jeanne> I suggest: "Even though we were getting along together for a short Jeanne> while, to completely cut all ties like that..." Hmm... maybe something like "It's only been a short while, but we were getting along together. To completely cut all ties like this..." ? I don't think the "even though" fits into the sentence right. "considering that we were..." would be an apt substitution if you wanted to include the "no ni". 4 Jin: [off] > It's okay if this continues zutto kono mama de > forever? all-the-time if-this-goes-on > > ii n da na? > okay (explan) For some reason I think the "da na" means that Jin is trying to confirm that the current situation is OK. The line's totally different, but I got the impression the gist of what he was saying was "So that means it's alright that this continues forever, doesn't it?" Any way to add affirmation to the sentence? "It's okay, then, if this continues, forever?" ===Sidebar=== FREE TALK (5): > When I try to listen, the KIite-mitara, "sukkari WASUrete-ta > tune called "I Completely when-try-to-listen quite-forgot > Forgot, But Was There This > Kind of Song That I Liked kedo ko-- yu-- UTA atta na-- > a Lot?" totally filled me but that-kind-of-song there-as (rhet) > with nostalgia. > kore suggoku SUki datta kke" to iu > this awfully was-liked (?) called > > KYOKU ga ippai atte tottemo > music (S) full-of have-(and) utterly > > natsukashikatta. > was-feeling-nostalgic Paul> It's not a song. He's just quoting what he thought when he lsitened to Paul> that cd I think this is: "When I listened to it, there were a lot of "Gee I'd forgotten about it, but there was a song that went like this, wasn't there -- I used to like this a lot" songs, which totally filled me with nostalgia. > Among the music like that sou iu KYOKU no NAKA no > is a piece called "Wounded that-kind-of-music 's insides 's > Generation," and this is, > sort of, a song that sounds hitotsu ni "KIZUtsuku SEDAI" > like it's about Miki and partly be-wounded a-generation > Yuu. > to iu no ga atte, kore ga > called (nom) (S) there-is-(and) this (S) > > ne, nanka, MIKI to YUU no koto > (rhet) somewhat about-Miki-and-Yuu > > UTAtte-ru mitai na KYOKU na no. > are-singing seems music is "Among those songs was one piece called..." > If all you hear is the taitoru dake KIku to nanka > title, somehow you'd just title only if-hear somewhat > get the feeling like it > was intense, and it's not HAGEshi -sou na kanji > like that. intense/furious look-as-if feeling > > dake de, sou demo nai yo. > just be-(and) not-like-that "If you just hear the title, you'd get the impression it was intense, but it's not like that." ? --------------------------------------------------- From: pthirose@linguisa.engr.ucdavis.edu (Paul Hirose) Subject: Re: [MB-MANGA] 1.3 (3/4) > > p 105 > > 2 > > In spite of your opposition, MIKI no HANTAI o oshikitte > > Miki, we began this life. 's opposition (O) in-spite-of > > > > kono SEIKATSU o HAJImeta no ni > > this-life (O) started even-though > I think 'even-tho' is better I prefer Craig's somewhat. > > Jin: > > It's ended up with so much konna ni KIZU tsuke au KEKKA ni > > hurt... this-much meet-with-injury to-outcome > > > > Owatte-shimatta... > > ended-(finality) > tsuke-au implies -to- hurt, or hurting each other. I guess there's a tense inconsistency, Paul? "It's ended up hurting this much." perhaps? > > 3 > > Jin: > > The only relief is that we mada SEKI o Irete-nakatta no ga > > didn't enter the new names yet didn't-have-one's-name- (nom) (S) > > into our family registers entered-in-family-register > > yet. > > YUIITSU no SUKUi da na > > only 's salvation/relief is > i dont think 'relief' is the right word. and we haven't entered? "The only good side is that we haven't..." ? > > FREE TALK (4): ______ > > How to be a poor player, TAMAHIROi no shikata to ka > > and the menu of training a-poor-player 's a-way and-such > > exercises--I'm confident I _______ > > can write with realism... RENSHUU menyu-- to ka, > > training/practice menu and-such > > _____ > > riaru ni KAkeru JISHIN > > in-reality can-write self-confidence > tamahiroi is person-who-picks-up-the-balls. Ah! Makes more sense... > > 2 > > Jin: > > This is the way you wanted omae no NOZOnde-ta TOOri ni naru > > things!! you (nom) were-hoping become-the-way > > > > n da zo > > (explan) !! > > it'll be the way you've [always] wantd it to be Yeah. > > p 109 > > narration: > > This is sorta beside the nanka RONTEN ga zurete---- > > point... somewhat beside-the-point > somehow we missed the point, or got off trac Either. > > For some reason, it seems nan da ka ime--ji songu MItsuketa > > I came across the image somehow image-song noticed > > song, and I'm glad. > > mitai de ureshiku natchaimashita. > > seem-(and) became-glad-(finality) > i became happy Sure. ----------------------------- From: jhedge@waterw.com (Jeanne Hedge) Subject: Re: [MB-MANGA] 1.3 (3/4) > Me again - And welcomed, as always! > >===Sidebar=== > >FREE TALK (4): ______ > > ______ > > And so, in order to watch de, tenisu o MIru tame ni > > tennis, I finally joined and-so tennis (O) watch for-the-sake-of > > WOWOW too, but (Since > > WOWOW's movies are subtitled tsui ni #WOWOW# ni mo KANYUU shita > What's "WOWOW"? I dunno... glad you asked though. (I was too embarrassed to) ^_^ > > Somehow, I have to hook it 1-GATSU no ZEN GOU o--pun made ni > > up before the January 's all great Open before > > Open in January... > > wa nantoka toritsukenakya... > > (contrast) somehow must-install > > > > Maybe Yoshizumi-san's talking about the Australian Open? That's a major > tennis tournament (part of the Grand Slam (along with the French Open, > Wimbledon, and the US Open)), and it's in January... Yeah, if it's in January, probably. > >--------------------------------------------------- > >p 109 > >2 > >Jin: > > Then, you aren't sore ja omae wa IMA no SEIKATSU ni > > dissatisfied with life then you (T) now 's by-life > > as it is right now? > > FUMAN wa nai n da na? > > aren't-dissatisfied (explan) (rhet) > I suggest: "Then you aren't dissatisfied with your life right now?" Sure. ------ Akira From akirak@unixg.ubc.ca Thu Oct 26 22:18:26 1995 Received: from unixg.ubc.ca by soyokaze.biosci.ohio-state.edu (8.6.10/1.950110) id WAA22447; Thu, 26 Oct 1995 22:18:24 -0400 Received: from interchg.ubc.ca (akirak@interchg.ubc.ca [137.82.27.42]) by unixg.ubc.ca (8.6.12/8.6.12) with SMTP id TAA23587 for ; Thu, 26 Oct 1995 19:15:44 -0700 Date: Thu, 26 Oct 1995 19:15:43 -0700 (PDT) From: Matthew Akira Klippenstein X-Sender: akirak@interchg.ubc.ca To: mboy-trans@soyokaze.biosci.ohio-state.edu Subject: Re: [MB-MANGA] 1.3 (4/4) In-Reply-To: <199510250652.GAA18016@soyokaze.biosci.ohio-state.edu> Message-ID: MIME-Version: 1.0 Content-Type: TEXT/PLAIN; charset=US-ASCII 'Chiwa! Marmalade Boy Volume 1, Chapter 3 pages 83-119 Written and illustrated by Yoshizumi Wataru --------------------------------------------------- p 110 3 Youji: > We were worried over MIKI-chan ga honto ni kono SEIKATSU o > whether or not you had (S) really this-life (O) > really accepted this life, > Miki-chan, so we put on a UkeIrete-kureta no ka dou ka > play. accepted-(us) (nom) if/whether > > SHIMPAI datta n de HITO SHIBAI > was-worried 'cause one play/drama > > utta n da > put-on (explan) I'd use "we put on an act" instead. 4 Miki: > A play...? SHIBAI...? Again, I think we'd usually use "act" here... e.g. "It was all an act?" Rumi: [off] > We have no reason to WATASHI-tachi ga kenka nante suru > be fighting. we (S) fight-and-such > > wake nai wa yo > have-no-reason Paul> there's no reason for us to fight Sure. Just re-word it so "fighting" becomes "fight" --------------------------------------------------- p 111 2 Jin: > How sharp, Yuu-kun. surudoi na-- YUU-kun "You're sharp..." ? --------------------------------------------------- p 112 6 > Jin: > We ticked her off KANZEN ni OKOrasete-shimatta... > completely... thoroughly made-angry-(finality) > > Chiyako: > We overdid it a bit, huh. chotto yari-sugita wa ne > a-bit over-done (rhet) I'd drop the second "we"... sounds a bit repetitive... Youji: > That's why I told you da kara ore yameta HOU ga ii > we'd better stop. and-so I quit better > > tte Itta no ni > (quote) told even-though "That's why I told you we should've stopped." ? --------------------------------------------------- p 113 1 Miki: [off] > (I'm not coming out any (mo---- ya da DEru!! konna IE!! > more!! A home like this!! any-more unpleasant come-out home- > like-this Paul> that's it. i'm leaving. house like this Yeah -- this works exactly. --------------------------------------------------- p 114 4 Miki: > You'd be seriously injured Ochitara OOkega da yo!! > if you fell!! if-fall serious-injury is "If you fell you'd be seriously injured!!" ? Yuu: > You were surprised and the bikkuri shite NAMIDA tomattaro > tears stopped. surprise-(and) tears poss-stopped "You were so surprised, the tears stopped." --------------------------------------------------- p 115 3 Yuu: > ...you're tested with a uso de TAMEsaretari shitara > lie... with-lie when-are-tested-(and) > > ...you get hurt. KIZUtsuichau yo na... "If you're tested..." ? (To include the 'shitara') --------------------------------------------------- p 117 3 narration: > When he's so sincerely sonna ni majime ni YASAshiku saretara > sweet to me... that-much earnestly when-is-sweet-to-me > > narration: > I end up not knowing why doushite ii ka wakannaku natchau yo... > it's okay... why okay (?) become-not- > knowing-(finality) Paul> doushite ii ka - is dunno what to do Perhaps it's a contraction of "dou sureba ii" ? "I end up not knowing what the best course of action would be." ? ...or some paraphrase thereof? --------------------------------------------------- p 119 1 narration: > ...that I'd never be able NIDO to Aenaku naru nante > to see Yuu again was never-able-to-meet become the-likes-of > unpleasant thought. > iya da to OMOtta > is-unpleasant thought-that "was an unpleasant thought." --------------------------------------------------- From: jhedge@waterw.com (Jeanne Hedge) Subject: Re: [MB-MANGA] 1.3 (4/4) > >--------------------------------------------------- > >p 117 > > > >2 > >[Miki ponders him, against a backdrop of flowers.] > >narration: > > Just teasing me... karakatte bakari no kuse ni > > making-fun-of only although > I suggest: "making fun of me" Being the ambivalent Canadian that I am, I'll go either way on this. ^_^ > >3 > >[A backdrop of flowers.] > >narration: > > When he's so sincerely sonna ni majime ni YASAshiku saretara > > sweet to me... that-much earnestly when-is-sweet-to-me > I suggest: "When he's so sweet" I actually prefer it with the sincerely there... >--------------------------------------------------- > >p 118 > >3 > >[Miki drops her gaze.] > >Miki: > > It's okay already... ...ii yo mou > I suggest: "It's okay..." Hmm... I think to fit the 'mou' in there, the already should be inserted... > >Miki: > > You're getting me my ashita no YUUSHOKU wa atashi no > > favorite dish for dinner tomorrow 's dinner (T) my > > tomorrow. > > SUki na MONO soroete yo ne > > favorite-thing arranging/getting-ready > I suggest: "You're making me my favorite dish for tomorrow's dinner." Either. ------------------------------------ From: pthirose@linguisa.engr.ucdavis.edu (Paul Hirose) Subject: Re: [MB-MANGA] 1.3 (4/4) > > 3 > > Chiyako: [off] > > Being an actress was fun. JOYUU ni natta mitai de > > became-actress seem-(and) > > > > TANOshikatta wa-- > > was-pleasant > it was like being an actress [and so] it was fun Yeah. > > Youji: [off] > > But that vase was a waste. demo ano KAbin mottainakatta na > > but that-vase was-wasteful > > ______ > > The glass that was broken KYOU WAtta gurasu mo... > > today, too... today broke glass too > and that glass that was broken today too Sure. > > 2 > > Miki: ____ > > It's too bad, but I don't kuyashi-- kedo o-KANE nai shi > > have the money... regrettable but money not-have consider > > kuyashii is stronger than regrettable. Woefully? Lamentably? "Tragically, I don't have the money..."? > p 116 > 1 > Yuu: > > Even though they used a konna yariKATA o TSUKAtte demo > > method like this... like-this how-to-do (O) using even-if > > > > They wanted to make sure MIKI ni kirawarete-nai tte koto > > that you didn't dislike by-Miki not-be-disliked (quote) (nom) > > them, Miki. > > TASHIkametakatta n da yo > > wanted-to-make-sure (explan) > > even if it took such extreme measures like this [one they used here]... > they wanted to make.. Sure. ----- Akira From scotty@skuld.corp.sgi.com Thu Oct 26 23:18:13 1995 Received: from sgigate.sgi.com by soyokaze.biosci.ohio-state.edu (8.6.10/1.950110) id XAA22497; Thu, 26 Oct 1995 23:18:10 -0400 Received: from skuld.corp.sgi.com by sgigate.sgi.com via ESMTP (950911.SGI.8.6.12.PATCH825/940406.SGI) for <@sgigate.sgi.com:mboy-trans@soyokaze.biosci.ohio-state.edu> id UAA26844; Thu, 26 Oct 1995 20:15:27 -0700 Received: by skuld.corp.sgi.com (950413.SGI.8.6.12/950213.SGI.AUTOCF) id UAA16423; Thu, 26 Oct 1995 20:15:18 -0700 Date: Thu, 26 Oct 1995 20:15:18 -0700 From: scotty@skuld.corp.sgi.com (Scott Henry) Message-Id: <199510270315.UAA16423@skuld.corp.sgi.com> To: mboy-trans@soyokaze.biosci.ohio-state.edu Subject: Re: [MB-MANGA] 1.3 (4/4) In-Reply-To: <199510252255.WAA19836@soyokaze.biosci.ohio-state.edu> References: <9510252251.AA26863@water.waterw.com> <199510252255.WAA19836@soyokaze.biosci.ohio-state.edu> Reply-To: scotty@sgi.com >>>>> "J" == Jeanne Hedge writes: >> --------------------------------------------------- >> p 118 >> 3 >> Miki: >> You're getting me my ashita no YUUSHOKU wa atashi no >> favorite dish for dinner tomorrow 's dinner (T) my >> tomorrow. >> SUki na MONO soroete yo ne >> favorite-thing arranging/getting-ready >> J> I suggest: "You're making me my favorite dish for tomorrow's dinner." Knowing Miki's opinion of her mother's cooking, I think "making" is the last thing she wants... I think the line is good as is. =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= More Important Drivel from: Scott Henry / Just Another Anime & Manga Fan when virtual just won't do-- http://reality.sgi.com/employees/scotth/