From akirak@unixg.ubc.ca Thu Oct 19 01:44:18 1995 Received: from unixg.ubc.ca by soyokaze.biosci.ohio-state.edu (8.6.10/1.950110) id BAA05314; Thu, 19 Oct 1995 01:44:14 -0400 Received: from interchg.ubc.ca (akirak@interchg.ubc.ca [137.82.27.42]) by unixg.ubc.ca (8.6.12/8.6.12) with SMTP id WAA13192 for ; Wed, 18 Oct 1995 22:41:34 -0700 Date: Wed, 18 Oct 1995 22:41:33 -0700 (PDT) From: Matthew Akira Klippenstein X-Sender: akirak@interchg.ubc.ca To: mboy-trans@soyokaze.biosci.ohio-state.edu Subject: Re: [MB-MANGA] 1.2 (1/4) In-Reply-To: <199510140938.JAA09121@soyokaze.biosci.ohio-state.edu> Message-ID: MIME-Version: 1.0 Content-Type: TEXT/PLAIN; charset=US-ASCII 'Chiwa! Marmalade Boy Volume 1, Chapter 2 pages 45-81 Written and illustrated by Yoshizumi Wataru --------------------------------------------------- p 47 1 Meiko: ______ > Hmm. Matsuura-kun looks fu--n MATSUURA-kun tte terebi > good on TV, too, doesn't hmm (T) TV > he. > UTSUri mo ii wa nee > reflection too good (rhet) "Matsuura-kun is pretty telegenic, too, isn't he." ? 2 interviewer: [off] > It's turning into a serious taihen na uwasa ni natte-iru > rumor... into-serious-rumor is-turning-into > > n desu ga > (explan) but/and For some reason, I think "grave" would work better here. It's more formal than serious, and makes the statement sound more dramatic (I think the interviewer would be playing up the drama here). 4 interviewer: > What sort of relationship o-2-RI no KANKEI wa dou iu...... > do the two of you have...? 2-people 's connection (T) what-kind-of "How close are the two of you...?" ? --------------------------------------------------- p 48 2 interviewer: [off] > Wh-what an explosive line! ba BAKUDAN HATSUGEN desu nee! > bombshell utterance is (rhet) I'd keep the bombshell. I've used it occasionally when referring to shocking news -- "Wh-what a bombshell!" or "That's quite a bombshell!" interviewer: [off] > Then, in other words, you're sore ja tsumari DOUSEI...... > cohabitating... then in-other-words cohabitation Cohabiting. --------------------------------------------------- p 49 1 Yuu: > Aren't you a bit mistaken? chotto CHIGAu n ja ne-- ka? > a-bit wrong (neg/explan) (?) "Isn't it a bit different?" Miki: > It's okay!! ii no_!! "Good enough!!" -- she's trying to justify her summary as a good enough version of reality, right? > If the truth were known to honto no koto ga ZENKOUSEITO ni > the entire student body, about-the-truth (S) to-whole-student-body > I'd be embarrassed and > couldn't come to school! SHIrewatattara HAzukashikutte > if-become-widely-known embarrassing-(and) > > GAKKOU KOrenai yo > school can't-come "...student body, I'd be so embarrassed, I couldn't come to school!" ? 3 Miki: > Don't go dramatizing as KATTE ni KYAKUSHOKU sun na! > you please! as-you-like don't-dramatize "Don't play it up!" ********* From: "Craig H. Nishida" On Sun, 15 Oct 1995, Daniel writes: D> On Sat, 14 Oct 1995, Jeanne writes: J> --------------------------------------------------- 52-2 > J> >Miki: > J> > Since he's young he's a bit WAKAi kara chotto TAYOri nai > J> > unreliable, but he's my young that's-why a-bit unreliable > J> > club's adviser... > J> > toko mo aru kedo > J> > case too there-is but > J> > _uchi_no_ > J> > tenisu -BU no KOMON mo yatte-te... > J> > my-club 's adviser too is-doing > J> I'm probably missing something, but why is being shown as editorial > J> commentary? Miki quite specifically SAYS 'tenisu BU' = tennis club. > J> Shouldn't that part be: ' tennis club's advisor' ? > This is kinda tricky. It's been furigana'ed with an , which is > "my" or "our" or whatever Miki considers to be her group. I've > always believed the character is saying the furigana, not the kanji or > whatever is written there in big print. > So I think she *says* "my club", but she *means* "my tennis club". Yeah, I think this is correct. People get possessive of their clubs... ********** From: Yutaka Sasagawa Craig wrote: > > 3 > > [The students' pov of the wall-mounted TV. Onscreen, Yuu smiles in front of > > a mike, with another boy, in glasses, facing him.] > > Yuu: [TV] > > Thank you, and hello. do--mo konnichi wa > > > > I'm Matsuura. MATSUURA desu > > I don't think this "do--mo" is a "thank you", but just part of his > greeting. Guests on talk-shows often start off with some bland filler greeting: "Thank you for inviting me / glad to be here / thank you for the opportunity" etc. > > 4 > > Miki: > > I must definitely keep it a ze----ttai HOKA no HITO ni wa > > secret from the others!! absoluteness to-other-people (contrast) > > > > HIMITSU ni shitoite yo ne_!! > > keeping-secret-(for-future-sake) > Please, please keep this > a secret from the others!! I think the latter does work better. > > p 52 > > > > 4 > > Miki: [glaring] > > Just my club! uchi no BU dake wa_ > > my-club only (T) > I think "Just not my club!" may make the meaning more clear. Yeah -- I think this works better. **************** From: pthirose@onion.engr.ucdavis.edu (Paul Hirose) > > 2 > > interviewer: [off] > > The transfer student who JOSHISEITO no AIDA de NINKI > > will be the subject of schoolgirls amidst popularity > > our interview concerning > > his sudden rise in KYUU JOUSHOU -CHUU no > > popularity among the sudden rise within 's > > girls in school... > > WADAI no TENNYUUSEI > > subject-(of-talk) (nom) transfer-student > > not quite. > the 'subject' here isn't the subject-of-our-itnerview. it's more > the subject of gossip around here by the schoolgirls, or 'the guy > everyone is talking about' . the 'kyuu' isn't sudden, so much as 'very' - > it's rising rapidly/greatly/wildly. sudden makes it sound unexpected. Hmm... something like "The transfer student whose rapid rise in popularity has made him the talk of the schoolgirls..." ? > > 5 > > Miki: [TV] > > My parents and his parents atashi no RYOUSHIN to KARE no RYOUSHIN ga > > are friends, and under my-parents and his-parents (S) > > those circumstances, our > > two families have been YUUJIN DOUSHI de > > living in the same house fellow-friends are-(and) > > recently! > > JIJOU ga atte konaida kara > > circumstances (S) being-there from-recently > > > > 2-KAZOKU de DOUKYO shite-ru > > by-2-families are-living-in-the-same-house > > > > n desu_ > > (explan) > > jijou ga atte is the typical idiom used when some bad circumstances exist > but you don't want to say what that circumstance is. How about: "...and, as things turned out, our two families..." ? or "...friends; this led to that, and our two families..." ? > 4 > > Miki: > > That's right! sou da! > > > > Because you're the only nat-chan dake wa TANNIN > > teacher, Nat-chan, who only (T) the-teacher-in-charge > > knows about my parents' > > strange behavior... da kara > > is that's-why > > > > uchi no OYA-tachi no JOUSHIKI hazure na > > my-parents 's eccentric/no-common- > > sense > > > > KOUDOU no koto SHItte-ru kedo > > about-behavior are-knowing but > > > > I must definitely keep it a ze----ttai HOKA no HITO ni wa > > secret from the others!! absoluteness to-other-people (contrast) > > > > HIMITSU ni shitoite yo ne_!! > > keeping-secret-(for-future-sake) > > The first part makes it sound like N is the only teacher int eh whoel school. > The 'dake' is more in referece to "cause you're a teacher, you're the > only person here who knows about my parents' bad behavior...but" I'd suggest "Because you're a teacher, Natchan, only you know about my parents' strange behaviour..." Matthew From akirak@unixg.ubc.ca Thu Oct 19 03:42:27 1995 Received: from unixg.ubc.ca by soyokaze.biosci.ohio-state.edu (8.6.10/1.950110) id DAA05402; Thu, 19 Oct 1995 03:42:24 -0400 Received: from interchg.ubc.ca (akirak@interchg.ubc.ca [137.82.27.42]) by unixg.ubc.ca (8.6.12/8.6.12) with SMTP id AAA02186 for ; Thu, 19 Oct 1995 00:39:42 -0700 Date: Thu, 19 Oct 1995 00:39:41 -0700 (PDT) From: Matthew Akira Klippenstein X-Sender: akirak@interchg.ubc.ca To: mboy-trans@soyokaze.biosci.ohio-state.edu Subject: Re: [MB-MANGA] 1.2 (2/4) In-Reply-To: <199510140939.JAA09133@soyokaze.biosci.ohio-state.edu> Message-ID: MIME-Version: 1.0 Content-Type: TEXT/PLAIN; charset=US-ASCII 'Chiwa! Marmalade Boy Volume 1, Chapter 2 pages 45-81 Written and illustrated by Yoshizumi Wataru --------------------------------------------------- p 53 ===Sidebar=== FREE TALK (2): > The heroine's name, "Miki," SHUJINKOU no NAMAE "MIKI" wa, MUKASHI > was taken from Yoshida heroine 's name (T) old-times > Miki-san, a model who was _________ > active in an old magazine #MC# shisuta-- to iu ZASSHI de > called "MC Sister." sister called in-magazine > ______ > KATSUYAKU shite-ita moderu no > was-active-in model 's > > YOSHIDA MIKI-san kara itadakimashita. > from took "who was active" sounds strange. Presumably you put in the "active" so as not to use "model who modelled in an old magazine...". How about dropping the "active" altogether instead? "a model who was in an old magazine..." -------------------------------------------------- p 54 2 Miki: > Say, aren't you going to nee o-HIRU TAbete-nai n desho? > eat lunch? say lunch not-eaten (poss-explan) "Say, you haven't eaten lunch yet, have you?" --------------------------------------------------- p 56 6 Miki: > Even though our parents OYA DOUSHI ga NAKA YOku > are friends, we have fellow-parents (S) on-good-terms > nothing to do with each > other... tatte > = even-though-are-there > > atashi-tachi ni wa KANKEI nai > to-us (contrast) have-no-concern > > shi > and-besides I thought this was something like: "Even though our parents are friends, it doesn't affect us." --------------------------------------------------- p 57 1 Miki: [off] > His personality is weird. SEIKAKU HEN da yo > personality/character strange is I've never heard that particular turn of phrase before... (ah, Canada! -_^ ) "He's got a weird personality." sounds more typical to me. --------------------------------------------------- p 58 2 narration: _________ > He's good at sports. supo--tsu mo kekkou dekiru n da > sports too very-well can-do (explan) Add in the 'mo' -- "good at sports, too." Miki: ______ > (I wonder if he's good at (tenisu mo umakatta no ka na) > tennis, too.) tennis too was-skillful I-wonder ...if you were trying to avoid using "too", twice, you could replace the first one with an "as well". --------------------------------------------------- From: "Craig H. Nishida" On Sun, 15 Oct 1995, Daniel writes: D> On Sat, 14 Oct 1995, Jeanne writes: J> 53-4 D> > [Yuu looks out the hall window, his face registering surprise.] D> > narration: D> > Well, that's still a story maa mada TOUBUN D> > for the future... well still for-the-time-being D> > D> > SAKI no HANASHI da kedo sa D> > future 's story is but D> hmm, how about using that little ol cliche: "Well, that's another story..." D> just a suggestion. it sounds fine as it is... > I'm not sure what is meant here, so I stuck pretty close to what I > thought was the gloss. I'll wait for the big guns to comment. Ah! Do I count as one? ^_^ "Well, that's a story for another day..." (I think this is the phrase Daniel was looking for...) --------------------------------------------------- J> >56-3 J> >narration: J> > Ah, there he is. a ita J> > J> > He returned properly. chanto MODOtte-kita n da J> > duly went-and-returned (explan) J> J> He returned properly doesn't sound quite right to me. My dictionaries have J> "chanto" = in good order, neatly, properly, thoroughly, fully, exactly, J> precisely, correctly, quite, perfectly, well. How about "He came right J> back" or "He returned promptly" or "He came back when he said he would"? I really like Jeanne's last suggestion. Though it's a bit long, I think it gets the translation exactly right. --------------------------------------------------- J> >56-5 J> >girl 1: J> > Why did you keep silent? do--shite DAMAtte-ta no yoo J> > why was-silent J> J> How about "Why didn't you say anything?" or "Why didn't you tell us?" > I dunno. I didn't think it really necessary to deviate from the literal > here. I prefer "Why didn't you say anything?" -- it seems more conversational. But the original is suitable enough (the ol' diminishing returns) as-is. --------------------------------------------------- J> >60-7 J> >Miki: [smiling] J> > That's okay, that's okay. i-- yo i-- yo J> > J> > That's something that anna no OOMUKASHI no J> > happened a long, long time like-that (nom) very-long-time-ago (nom) J> > ago. J> > koto da mon J> > thing is reason J> > J> > I utterly don't care at mou ZENZEN NANtomo OMOtte-nai J> > all any more... any-more completely am-not-caring-at-all J> > J> > shi sa J> > and-besides J> J> "Besides, I really don't care anymore." > That's how *YOU* and *I* would probably say it. But I'm staring at all > those words there. , , . Miki is being > ultra-emphatic and I don't wanna do "rewrites" of the manga. > 'Course, again. I could be wrong. I like Jeanne's suggestion -- putting utterly in that context seems odd. When friends want to be emphatic, they'll _really_ stress the "really". If you wanted to add emphasis, you could replace the "because" with "frankly". "Frankly, I really don't care anymore." --------------------------------------------------- From: Yutaka Sasagawa > --------------------------------------------------- > p 53 > > > > 1 > > Miki: _____ > > Ah, cram school studies? a JUKEN BENKYOU? > > Again, I'm being a bit picky, but I don't think "JUKEN BENKYOU" > necessarily implies that he's going to cram school. You can definitely > study for the entrance exams on your own. Of course, many people go to > cram school, since you (supposedly) learn more that way... Hmm... "Ah, cram school work?" then? No big deal to me... 53 > 3 > > narration: > > As for our college, there uchi no DAIGAKU nara SHIKEN-nashi > > isn't an entrance exam, and our-college if-it-is without-exam > > he could go there! > > de Ikeru no ni... > > is-(and) can-go even-though "If he went to our college, he wouldn't have to take an entrance exam..." --------------------------------------------------------------- From: pthirose@anchovy.engr.ucdavis.edu (Paul Hirose) > > 3 > > Yuu: > > I'm cutting 5th-period. ore 5-JIKAN-ME saboru > > I 5th-period cut-class > > i'll cut 5th period Hmmm... I prefer what Craig has, for some reason. It makes him sound more decisive in his decision to skip. > > 6 > > Miki: > > Ahh, there really isn't aa BETSU ni Iu hodo no koto > > that much to talk about. particularly say about-to-that-extent > > > > ja nai jan > > is-not > isn't anything worth talking about Either. > > 2 > > narration: _________ > > He's good at sports. supo--tsu mo kekkou dekiru n da > > sports too very-well can-do (explan) > > > he's pretty good at Yeah -- might as well insert the "kekkou" there... > > Miki: ______ > > (I wonder if he's good at (tenisu mo umakatta no ka na) > > tennis, too.) tennis too was-skillful I-wonder > > if he was good at Presumably he still plays tennis, right? She'd just asked him not to join the tennis club -- and he wouldn't have joined if he was all lobs, eh? I think she's saying "I wonder if he would have turned out to have been good at tennis, too." which is way too wordy for our purposes... I like it as is. Matthew From pthirose@rosarita.engr.ucdavis.edu Thu Oct 19 13:00:31 1995 Received: from ucdavis.ucdavis.edu by soyokaze.biosci.ohio-state.edu (8.6.10/1.950110) id NAA06209; Thu, 19 Oct 1995 13:00:28 -0400 Received: from rosarita.engr.ucdavis.edu by ucdavis.ucdavis.edu (8.6.12/UCD3.4) id JAA06232; Thu, 19 Oct 1995 09:57:43 -0700 Received: from anchovy.engr.ucdavis.edu by rosarita.engr.ucdavis.edu (4.1/EACS-2.1) id AA01553; Thu, 19 Oct 95 09:57:44 PDT Message-Id: <9510191657.AA01553@rosarita.engr.ucdavis.edu> From: pthirose@anchovy.engr.ucdavis.edu (Paul Hirose) Date: Thu, 19 Oct 1995 09:57:36 -0700 In-Reply-To: "Craig H. Nishida" "Re: [MB-MANGA] 1.1 (3/4)" (Oct 19, 1:33am) X-Mailer: Mail User's Shell (7.2.5 10/14/92) To: mboy-trans@soyokaze.biosci.ohio-state.edu Subject: Re: [MB-MANGA] 1.1 (3/4) Glomming as usual... On Oct 19, 1:33am, "Craig H. Nishida" wrote: > Subject: Re: [MB-MANGA] 1.1 (3/4) > Well, everyone else I ask and every book I consult says that that's what Far be it for me to disagree with all these. Like I said, it's not that big a deal, I just think it ought to be 'think' with additions to make it as strong as you want. I guess it's just a question of "how strong" with "going to" being on one end and "thinking of" being on the other. > 23-1 > Rumi: > In other words, the tsumari FUUFU KANKEI wa > marriages will change, in-other-words married-couple relations (T) > but the parent and child > relationships won't. HENKA suru kedo > change but > > OYAKO KANKEI wa KAwaranai no > parent-and-child relations (T) not-change > > You should think of your IMA made DOOri no KUmiAwase o > parents as being the ones just-as-till-now (nom) pairing (O) > you've had up to now. > RYOUSHIN to OMOtte-kurereba ii wake > parents if-think-that okay reason > P> to think about this. Rumi is more trying to smooth things over by saying > P> "See, it'd be ok, if you just pretended that things were still like before" > Okay, I see that, but I also still prefer the "should" or "can". Fine by me. Seems like R's trying to be placating to me - she (they) have already done so much to M, they don't want to issue even more instructions. but maybe not. > P> > P> > 37-4 > P> > P> > Miki: > P> > P> > Nobody told me anything!! sonna no KIite-nai_!! > P> > P> > like-that (nom) not-heard > Y> It's not completely literal, but I think it's the best translation. Maybe ust "I hadn't heard anything"? It works the way it is tho, I suppose > 40-2 > Meiko: > It's the day he transferred, TENNYUU SHONICHI de sukkari > and already he's quite the transfer first-day is-(and) quite > schoolgirls' idol, hm. ______ > JOSEITO no aidoru ne > schoolgirls 's idol (rhet) the [first] day of his transfer? On Oct 19, 5:44am, Matthew Akira Klippenstein wrote: > Subject: Re: [MB-MANGA] 1.2 (1/4) > 1 > Meiko: ______ > > Hmm. Matsuura-kun looks fu--n MATSUURA-kun tte terebi > > good on TV, too, doesn't hmm (T) TV > > he. > > UTSUri mo ii wa nee > > reflection too good (rhet) > "Matsuura-kun is pretty telegenic, too, isn't he." ? telegenic??? > 4 > interviewer: > > What sort of relationship o-2-RI no KANKEI wa dou iu...... > > do the two of you have...? 2-people 's connection (T) what-kind-of > "How close are the two of you...?" ? Nah...not quite the right way to put it, altho that's what's implied > p 49 > 1 > Yuu: > > Aren't you a bit mistaken? chotto CHIGAu n ja ne-- ka? > > a-bit wrong (neg/explan) (?) > "Isn't it a bit different?" > Miki: > > It's okay!! ii no_!! > "Good enough!!" -- she's trying to justify her summary as a good enough It's ok I think is better. Or maybe even 'never mind' > > If the truth were known to honto no koto ga ZENKOUSEITO ni > > the entire student body, about-the-truth (S) to-whole-student-body > > I'd be embarrassed and > > couldn't come to school! SHIrewatattara HAzukashikutte > > if-become-widely-known embarrassing-(and) > > > > GAKKOU KOrenai yo > > school can't-come > "...student body, I'd be so embarrassed, I couldn't come to school!" ? ok > > > 2 > > > interviewer: [off] > > > The transfer student who JOSHISEITO no AIDA de NINKI > > > will be the subject of schoolgirls amidst popularity > > > our interview concerning > > > his sudden rise in KYUU JOUSHOU -CHUU no > > > popularity among the sudden rise within 's > > > girls in school... > > > WADAI no TENNYUUSEI > > > subject-(of-talk) (nom) transfer-student > Hmm... something like "The transfer student whose rapid rise in popularity > has made him the talk of the schoolgirls..." ? something like that On Oct 19, 7:42am, Matthew Akira Klippenstein wrote: > Subject: Re: [MB-MANGA] 1.2 (2/4) > p 54 > 2 > Miki: > > Say, aren't you going to nee o-HIRU TAbete-nai n desho? > > eat lunch? say lunch not-eaten (poss-explan) > "Say, you haven't eaten lunch yet, have you?" sure > p 56 > 6 > Miki: > > Even though our parents OYA DOUSHI ga NAKA YOku > > are friends, we have fellow-parents (S) on-good-terms > > nothing to do with each > > other... tatte > > = even-though-are-there > > > > atashi-tachi ni wa KANKEI nai > > to-us (contrast) have-no-concern > > > > shi > > and-besides > "Even though our parents are friends, it doesn't affect us." yah > p 57 > 1 > Miki: [off] > > His personality is weird. SEIKAKU HEN da yo > > personality/character strange is > "He's got a weird personality." sounds more typical to me. Nah, it's closer the way it is > p 58 > 2 > narration: _________ > > He's good at sports. supo--tsu mo kekkou dekiru n da > > sports too very-well can-do (explan) > Add in the 'mo' -- "good at sports, too." yah, too > Miki: ______ > > (I wonder if he's good at (tenisu mo umakatta no ka na) > > tennis, too.) tennis too was-skillful I-wonder > ...if you were trying to avoid using "too", twice, you could replace the > first one with an "as well". sure > > > 3 > > > Yuu: > > > I'm cutting 5th-period. ore 5-JIKAN-ME saboru > > > I 5th-period cut-class > Hmmm... I prefer what Craig has, for some reason. It makes him sound more sure PH -- Paul Hirose : pthirose@ucdavis.edu : I don't speak for UC Davis, or Engr: ACS : Programmer/Analyst : ACS unless specified otherwise 1039 Academic Surge : ----------------------------------------------------- Davis, CA 95616-8770 : SysAdmin Motto - "/usr/bin/mv /my/life /dev/null"