From cnishida@netcom.com Mon Oct 16 03:33:09 1995 Received: from netcom10.netcom.com by soyokaze.biosci.ohio-state.edu (8.6.10/1.950110) id DAA10977; Mon, 16 Oct 1995 03:33:06 -0400 Received: by netcom10.netcom.com (8.6.12/Netcom) id AAA18602; Mon, 16 Oct 1995 00:29:30 -0700 Date: Mon, 16 Oct 1995 00:29:29 -0700 (PDT) From: "Craig H. Nishida" Subject: Re: [MB-MANGA] 1.1 (3/4) To: MB-trans ML Message-ID: MIME-Version: 1.0 Content-Type: TEXT/PLAIN; charset=US-ASCII "Anchovy" huh? Now what did you do to "Rosarita", Paul? On Mon, 16 Oct 1995, Paul writes: P> On Mon, 16 Oct 1995, Daniel writes: D> --------------------------------------------------- 22-5 Jin/Youji/Rumi/Chiyako: We're... WATASHI-TACHI Renting a large house and HIROi IE o KArite 6-NIN de the six of us are going spacious-home (O) rent-(and) by-6-people to live together. ISSHO ni SUmou to OMOtte-ru no together are-going-to-live P> P> omotte-ru, toss in the 'we're thining of renting a large..." I'd prefer it as "going to V". That is, the = "thinking of V'ing" = "intending to V" = "going to V". --------------------------------------------------- 23-1 Rumi: In other words, the tsumari FUUFU KANKEI wa marriages will change, in-other-words married-couple relations (T) but the parent and child relationships won't. HENKA suru kedo change but OYAKO KANKEI wa KAwaranai no parent-and-child relations (T) not-change You should think of your IMA made DOOri no KUmiAwase o parents as being the ones just-as-till-now (nom) pairing (O) you've had up to now. RYOUSHIN to OMOtte-kurereba ii wake parents if-think-that okay reason P> P> ii wake implies 'so it would be ok [for you] if you thought of your parents P> as being... I substituted in "should" for "okay if". I guess "can" also works? --------------------------------------------------- P> what what ===> 24-3 narration: What? What? nani yo nani yo --------------------------------------------------- P> backwars. bootto tsutattee nee...is don't stand there w/a blank look P> on yoru fac Very true. But "look sharp" is the equivalent phrase. Ah, what the heck... ===> 26-4 Yuu: Don't stand around looking bo----tto tsuttatte nee de sassato spaced out--hurry up and not-stand-looking-blank-(and) quickly carry your share of the _________ boxes. JIBUN no BUN no dambo--ru self 's share 's cardboard HAKObi-kome yo come-and-carry The sun's gonna set!! HI ga KUrechimau zo!! --------------------------------------------------- P> > 26-6 P> > Chiyako: P> > I'm glad we found such a ii toko MItsukatte yokatta ne-- P> > nice place. nice-place discover-(and) was-good (rhet) P> P> nobody's happy, per se. it's more like "it's good that we found such P> a good plac" altho i can go w/what you have. Yah, I think "I'm glad such-and-such happened..." is just one way of reflecting . --------------------------------------------------- P> kimatte-iru isn't 'natural'. it's 'policy' or 'decreed by law' or P> something OK, I'll change the gloss, too. ===> 27-1 narration: They haven't remarried yet. SAIKON wa mada shite-inai remarriage (T) still aren't-doing It's set by law that they RIKON SEIRITSU -GO 6-ka-GETSU mustn't do so until 6 months divorce conclusion after 6-months after the finalization of the divorce. tatanai to shite wa ikenai koto ni if-not-pass-by must-not-do especially HOURITSU de KImatte-iru no da by-law is-decided (explan) --------------------------------------------------- P> frankly, it's OK, but maybe that's a bit too abrupt. How about: ===> 27-1 narration: Frankly speaking, it's hakkiri itte IJOU de aru ABNORMAL. speaking-plainly abnormal is --------------------------------------------------- P> > Rumi: P> > Jin! Youji! Come here JIN! YOUJI mo chotto KIte yo P> > for a bit. too a-bit coming P> P> Jin! Youji [you] come here too I'd toss in the if I knew a way to make all that come out right. How about keeping it split into three parts? ===> 27-4 Rumi: Jin! You too, Youji! Come JIN! YOUJI mo chotto KIte yo here for a bit. too a-bit coming --------------------------------------------------- P> > 28-1 P> > [Yuu shouts in through her open door.] P> > Yuu: P> > Miki! MIKI! P> > P> > You aren't tired. hebatte n ja nee yo P> > being-exhausted (neg/explan) P> P> don't be tired. actually it's mroe like don't just slup there P> and be totally wiped out [we still ahve work to do] That might be just a *wee* bit long. ^_^ The line currently reads as Yutaka suggested: This is no time to be hebatte n ja nee yo tired. being-exhausted (neg/explan) --------------------------------------------------- P> nantoka-shitara is 'why don't you do osmething about'. so P> why dotn you do somethin gabout that face which dosn't suit that P> tone of voice... OK, change was already made. I'll fix the gloss, too. --------------------------------------------------- P> no 'now'. then i think maybe it's okay like this. kore-de is 'the situation P> as it stands now' Yup. "With this" or "now". "...then now, I think that maybe it's okay..." But whatever... ===> 29-4 Miki: ...then I think that maybe kore de YOkatta no ka na it's okay like this... with-this/now was-good (nom) I-wonder to mo OMOu shi...... think-that-too and-besides --------------------------------------------------- P> dont' hate it so much. just 'hate so much' makes it sound like she's P> that way always about eveything This is true. ===> 30-1 Yuu: [off] Don't hate it so much. sonna ni IYAgannai de sa that-much don't-dislike --------------------------------------------------- P> it's already a complicated household = "already"? I could never find a solid definition for that. ===> 34-1 Rumi: Because, it's already a datte tada de sae FUKUZATSU na complicated household, but because already complicated if on top of that, you and he also... KATEI na no ni home/family is even-though kono UE anta-tachi mo... above-this you-(and-assoc) too --------------------------------------------------- P> > If such a thing should nante koto ni nattara yokei P> > happen, we'd probably have if-become-such-a-thing excessive/needless P> > needless confusion in the ________ P> > household. IE no NAKA gotagota suru desho P> > within-home possibly-have-confusion/trouble P> P> gotagota is total confusion That sounds funny with the "needless". How about "chaos"? ===> 34-1 If such a thing should nante koto ni nattara yokei happen, we'd probably have if-become-such-a-thing excessive/needless needless chaos in the ________ household. IE no NAKA gotagota suru desho within-home possibly-have-confusion/trouble --------------------------------------------------- P> > 36-3 P> > Meiko: P> > But still, you're cheerful. sore ni shicha AKArui ja nai P> > but/still bright/cheerful P> P> given the circumstance, you're pretty cheerful. P> considering.... Eee. I think I prefer the "but still" just for the way the lines flow. D> just wondering, how does "ja nai" work here? isn't "ja nai" used for the D> present negative? As I learned early on, not always. Ask Paul or Yutaka or someone else for more details. [I suppose here, Meiko is looking at things in a negative pov. The "But still..."] --------------------------------------------------- P> > 37-4 P> > Miki: P> > Nobody told me anything!! sonna no KIite-nai_!! P> > like-that (nom) not-heard P> P> i hadn't heard anythign [like that/about it] That was my first line, but I tweaked it to make it flow better with the other lines. --------------------------------------------------- P> > 38-5 P> > Miki: P> > Yokohama! Isn't that a YOKOHAMA nante ne-- P> > distance you can commute?! the-likes-of (rhet) P> > P> > KAYOeru KYORI desho_ P> > can-go-back-and-forth distance poss-be P> > P> > So go commute! ja omae KAYOe P> P> who says this last bit? I'm 99% sure it's Miki. All that bit is handwritten (no bubble) over her head with rays emanating from her head, bracketing the text. Yuu looks like he's just calmly looking at her as she rants. Miki's mouth is wide open. I see where you're coming from, though. It would make sense for Yuu to be slinging it back at her, "Then, you commute." --------------------------------------------------- P> day of transfer...after makes it sound like day-2 of classes Okay. ===> 40-2 Meiko: On his first day of TENNYUU SHONICHI de sukkari transferring, he's quite the transfer on-first-day quite/completely schoolgirls' idol, isn't he. ______ JOSEITO no aidoru ne schoolgirls 's idol (rhet) --------------------------------------------------- P> anna kanji is 'like that' - they've been ilke that ever since jr high Okay, but how about just downgrading the "felt" to "been"? ===> 42-5 They've been that way ever CHUUGAKU no TOKI kara zutto since junior high. from-jr-high-time all-the-time anna KANji that-kind-of-impression --------------------------------------------------- 42-5 P> > Yuu: P> > Then, they're ready to jaa KOKUHAKU wa kore kara P> > confess their feelings now? then confession (T) now P> > P> > tte wake ka P> > (quote) reason (?) P> P> so their confessions come after this Hmm. The current line in the script is: Then, they still haven't confessed their feelings? But how about: Then, they're going to confess their feelings now? --------------------------------------------------- Craig From cnishida@netcom.com Mon Oct 16 03:39:38 1995 Received: from netcom10.netcom.com by soyokaze.biosci.ohio-state.edu (8.6.10/1.950110) id DAA10995; Mon, 16 Oct 1995 03:39:36 -0400 Received: by netcom10.netcom.com (8.6.12/Netcom) id AAA18561; Mon, 16 Oct 1995 00:28:49 -0700 Date: Mon, 16 Oct 1995 00:28:48 -0700 (PDT) From: "Craig H. Nishida" Subject: Re: [MB-MANGA] 1.1 To: MB-trans ML Message-ID: MIME-Version: 1.0 Content-Type: TEXT/PLAIN; charset=US-ASCII I'll tackle the 1.1 comments tonight, and face the 1.2 comments Monday or Tuesday... Keep 'em coming. On Mon, 16 Oct 1995, Paul P> P> As my rush to do all this continues... Wah! Wah! [Hm. I'm starting to sound like Yawara...] I'm swamped... --------------------------------------------------- P> shite-ru uchi ni....is closer to 'while we were doing tour-stuff together, P> we [ended up] falling in love] ===> 8-3 Jin: While touring around issho ni KOUDOU shite-ru uchi ni together, Mama fell in love together are-doing-activities within with Matsuura-san, and your ____ papa fell in love with his mama wa MATSUURA-san to wife. (T) with-Matsuura ____ papa wa sono OKU-san to KOI ni (T) with-that-wife in-love Ochite-shimatta n da fell-(finality) (explan) --------------------------------------------------- P> > H> The Duffy's used "normal" instead of "reasonable", which might be a P> > could be "sound". P> P> sure, normal ===> 14-3 narration: They look like extremely sugoku matomo na HITOTACHI ni normal folks... awfully upright/sane people MIeru kedo---- appear but --------------------------------------------------- P> the othe way was better. it's not just 'your' family or anything Okay. It's what I thought in the first place, anyway... ===> 20-2 Yuu: [off] Even though it's a family KATEI HOUKAI no KIKI da tte breakup crisis, stay calm. home/family collapse 's crisis is (quote) no ni HEIZEN to shichatte even-tho being-cool/calm-(finality) --------------------------------------------------- P> On Sep 30, 6:17am, "Craig H. Nishida" wrote: P> > Subject: Re: [MB-MANGA] 1.1 (1/4) P> P> > On Fri, 29 Sep 1995, Paul writes: P> P> > On Fri, 29 Sep 1995, Harold writes: H> P> > On Fri, 29 Sep 1995, Thomas writes: T> P> > On Fri, 29 Sep 1995, Akira writes: A> P> > On Fri, 29 Sep 1995, Steve writes: S> P> > On Fri, 29 Sep 1995, Will writes: W> P> > On Fri, 29 Sep 1995, Gary writes: G> P> P> geez - pretty crowded on this list ^_^ You *just* noticed? What amazes me is that, so far, everyone's name starts with a different letter! --------------------------------------------------- Craig From pthirose@rosarita.engr.ucdavis.edu Mon Oct 16 13:25:18 1995 Received: from ucdavis.ucdavis.edu by soyokaze.biosci.ohio-state.edu (8.6.10/1.950110) id NAA11616; Mon, 16 Oct 1995 13:25:15 -0400 Received: from rosarita.engr.ucdavis.edu by ucdavis.ucdavis.edu (8.6.12/UCD3.4) id KAA26807; Mon, 16 Oct 1995 10:22:36 -0700 Received: from anchovy.engr.ucdavis.edu by rosarita.engr.ucdavis.edu (4.1/EACS-2.1) id AA27656; Mon, 16 Oct 95 10:22:37 PDT From: pthirose@rosarita.engr.ucdavis.edu (Paul Hirose) Message-Id: <9510161722.AA27656@rosarita.engr.ucdavis.edu> Subject: Re: [MB-MANGA] 1.1 (3/4) To: mboy-trans@soyokaze.biosci.ohio-state.edu Date: Mon, 16 Oct 1995 10:22:30 -0700 (PDT) In-Reply-To: <199510160733.HAA10981@soyokaze.biosci.ohio-state.edu> from "Craig H. Nishida" at Oct 16, 95 07:33:13 am X-Mailer: ELM [version 2.4 PL24] Mime-Version: 1.0 Content-Type: text/plain; charset=US-ASCII Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit Content-Length: 5808 > "Anchovy" huh? Now what did you do to "Rosarita", Paul? Yah, the HPUX 10.01 sendmail isn't working the way it's advertised. In /etc/rc.config.d/mailsrv file, I have it set so that it's supposed to alias all outgoing mail so it looks like it just comes from engr.ucdavis.edu but it isn't working that way. I'm gonna have to go back to the previous sendmail we were using in 9.05. But all that aside :) > 22-5 > Jin/Youji/Rumi/Chiyako: > We're... WATASHI-TACHI > > Renting a large house and HIROi IE o KArite 6-NIN de > the six of us are going spacious-home (O) rent-(and) by-6-people > to live together. > ISSHO ni SUmou to OMOtte-ru no > together are-going-to-live > I'd prefer it as "going to V". That is, the = "thinking of > V'ing" = "intending to V" = "going to V". I still think it should be thinking of blah, than going to blah. admittedly, they've de-facto decided already, but it's not totally set in stone, so to speak. I dunno...omou is to think, and I just think it otta be there. make ita s strong as you want, but leave it in there. > 23-1 > Rumi: > In other words, the tsumari FUUFU KANKEI wa > marriages will change, in-other-words married-couple relations (T) > but the parent and child > relationships won't. HENKA suru kedo > change but > > OYAKO KANKEI wa KAwaranai no > parent-and-child relations (T) not-change > > You should think of your IMA made DOOri no KUmiAwase o > parents as being the ones just-as-till-now (nom) pairing (O) > you've had up to now. > RYOUSHIN to OMOtte-kurereba ii wake > parents if-think-that okay reason > P> ii wake implies 'so it would be ok [for you] if you thought of your parents > P> as being... > I substituted in "should" for "okay if". I guess "can" also works? Sorta. Should implies kinda 'instructions' on how Miki is now supposed to think about this. Rumi is more trying to smooth things over by saying "See, it'd be ok, if you just pretended that things were still like before" > P> > 28-1 > P> > [Yuu shouts in through her open door.] > P> > Yuu: > P> > Miki! MIKI! > P> > > P> > You aren't tired. hebatte n ja nee yo > P> > being-exhausted (neg/explan) > The line currently reads as Yutaka suggested: > This is no time to be hebatte n ja nee yo > tired. being-exhausted (neg/explan) I'd go for that. I think it's a bit stronger than 'tired' tho it works > = "already"? I could never find a solid definition for > 34-1 > Rumi: > Because, it's already a datte tada de sae FUKUZATSU na > complicated household, but because already complicated > if on top of that, you and > he also... KATEI na no ni > home/family is even-though > > kono UE anta-tachi mo... > above-this you-(and-assoc) too already is as close as I can think of it. > P> > 36-3 > P> > Meiko: > P> > But still, you're cheerful. sore ni shicha AKArui ja nai > P> > but/still bright/cheerful > Eee. I think I prefer the "but still" just for the way the lines flow. > negative pov. The "But still..."] Heh...yah, given-the-circumstace is pretty long :) butstll works > P> > 37-4 > P> > Miki: > P> > Nobody told me anything!! sonna no KIite-nai_!! > P> > like-that (nom) not-heard > P> i hadn't heard anythign [like that/about it] > That was my first line, but I tweaked it to make it flow better with > the other lines. The two have a slightly different spin tho. The first sounds like she expects to be told, whereas 'heard anything' could imply anything, like overhearing, eavesdropping, being told directly, etc etc. > P> > 38-5 > P> > Miki: > P> > Yokohama! Isn't that a YOKOHAMA nante ne-- > P> > distance you can commute?! the-likes-of (rhet) > P> > > P> > KAYOeru KYORI desho_ > P> > can-go-back-and-forth distance poss-be > P> > > P> > So go commute! ja omae KAYOe > P> who says this last bit? > I see where you're coming from, though. It would make sense for Yuu > to be slinging it back at her, "Then, you commute." Basically, yah. "omae" isn't exactly girl-speak, altho they certainly use it > 42-5 > They've been that way ever CHUUGAKU no TOKI kara zutto > since junior high. from-jr-high-time all-the-time > > anna KANji > that-kind-of-impression 'that way' just sounds funny, but i can go w/it. > 42-5 > P> > Yuu: > P> > Then, they're ready to jaa KOKUHAKU wa kore kara > P> > confess their feelings now? then confession (T) now > P> > > P> > tte wake ka > P> > (quote) reason (?) > Then, they're going to confess their feelings now? THe 'kore kara' to me, doesn't imply 'now'. It just means 'sometime afte rthis point in time" or just plain "they havent' done it yet, and they might someday". PH From pthirose@rosarita.engr.ucdavis.edu Mon Oct 16 13:31:18 1995 Received: from ucdavis.ucdavis.edu by soyokaze.biosci.ohio-state.edu (8.6.10/1.950110) id NAA11630; Mon, 16 Oct 1995 13:31:17 -0400 Received: from rosarita.engr.ucdavis.edu by ucdavis.ucdavis.edu (8.6.12/UCD3.4) id KAA27063; Mon, 16 Oct 1995 10:28:38 -0700 Received: from anchovy.engr.ucdavis.edu by rosarita.engr.ucdavis.edu (4.1/EACS-2.1) id AA27874; Mon, 16 Oct 95 10:28:40 PDT From: pthirose@rosarita.engr.ucdavis.edu (Paul Hirose) Message-Id: <9510161728.AA27874@rosarita.engr.ucdavis.edu> Subject: Re: [MB-MANGA] 1.1 To: mboy-trans@soyokaze.biosci.ohio-state.edu Date: Mon, 16 Oct 1995 10:28:33 -0700 (PDT) In-Reply-To: <199510160739.HAA10999@soyokaze.biosci.ohio-state.edu> from "Craig H. Nishida" at Oct 16, 95 07:39:44 am X-Mailer: ELM [version 2.4 PL24] Mime-Version: 1.0 Content-Type: text/plain; charset=US-ASCII Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit Content-Length: 102 > Wah! Wah! [Hm. I'm starting to sound like Yawara...] How is that coming along anyway (duck) PH