From jhedge@waterw.com Sun Oct 1 08:16:01 1995 Received: from water.waterw.com by soyokaze.biosci.ohio-state.edu (8.6.10/1.950110) id IAA12776; Sun, 1 Oct 1995 08:16:00 -0400 Received: by water.waterw.com (5.65/DEC-Ultrix/4.3) id AA27611; Sun, 1 Oct 1995 08:12:57 -0400 Date: Sun, 1 Oct 1995 08:12:57 -0400 Message-Id: <9510011212.AA27611@water.waterw.com> X-Sender: jhedge@water.waterw.com X-Mailer: Windows Eudora Version 1.4.4 Mime-Version: 1.0 Content-Type: text/plain; charset="us-ascii" To: mboy-trans@soyokaze.biosci.ohio-state.edu From: jhedge@waterw.com (Jeanne Hedge) Subject: Re: [MB-MANGA] 1.1 (3,4) >34-7 > >>narration: >> Sure, I admit he's sorya KAO ga ii no wa >> good-looking, but (how sure face (S) good (nom) (T) >> often did I make the >> mistake of going MITOmeru kedo (FUKAKU ni mo >> pitter-patter...) admit but carelessly/make-a-blunder >> >> NANDO ka tokimeite-shimatta >> how-often (?) heart-throbbed-(finality) >> >> kedo) >> but > >pitter-patter? this sounds odd. how 'bout: > > Sure, I admit he's good-looking, but (how often have I made mistakes > by following my heart-throbs...) > This stuff about pitter-patter and heart-throbs just doesn't sound right to me. It may not be technically accurate, but how about: Sure, I admit he's good-looking, but (how often have I made the mistake of following my heart...) Jeanne Hedge jhedge@water.waterw.com 75512.1214@compuserve.com ================================================================ "Water, water everywhere, nor any drop to drink..." --Samuel Taylor Coleridge, 'The Rime of the Ancient Mariner' From jhedge@waterw.com Sun Oct 1 08:47:14 1995 Received: from water.waterw.com by soyokaze.biosci.ohio-state.edu (8.6.10/1.950110) id IAA12795; Sun, 1 Oct 1995 08:47:11 -0400 Received: by water.waterw.com (5.65/DEC-Ultrix/4.3) id AA27595; Sun, 1 Oct 1995 08:12:34 -0400 Date: Sun, 1 Oct 1995 08:12:34 -0400 Message-Id: <9510011212.AA27595@water.waterw.com> X-Sender: jhedge@water.waterw.com X-Mailer: Windows Eudora Version 1.4.4 Mime-Version: 1.0 Content-Type: text/plain; charset="us-ascii" To: mboy-trans@soyokaze.biosci.ohio-state.edu From: jhedge@waterw.com (Jeanne Hedge) Subject: Re: [MB-MANGA] 1.1 (2/4) >Here are the collected comments to part 2 of chapter 1.1 (as of noon >Saturday): > >On Fri, 29 Sep 1995, Harold writes: H> >--------------------------------------------------- > >17-4 >H> >Miki: >H> > (Oh no. What'll I do?! (ya da dou shiyou_ >H> > >H> > Maybe I can get to know konna KO to SHIriAi ni nareru >H> > a boy like this. with-boy-like-this can-become-acquaintance >H> >H> "A" or this particular boy? > > = like-this; this-kind-of; such-a > >--------------------------------------------------- I agree with Harold that Miki's talking about getting to know this boy in particular, as opposed to a boy like this. IMO her next few lines make this clear: > I'm awfully lucky...) suggoku rakki--...) > awfully lucky > >5 >[A star pops over her head.] > >--------------------------------------------------- >p 18 > >1 >[Miki shakes her head violently. Rumi looks at her daughter in puzzlement.] >narration: > What the heck am I thinking ...NANI KANGAete n no atashi tteba > of? what thinking-about I I-tell-you > > This isn't the time for so-- yu-- BA-AI ja nakute_ > that! that-kind-of case not-being Jeanne Hedge jhedge@water.waterw.com 75512.1214@compuserve.com ================================================================ "Water, water everywhere, nor any drop to drink..." --Samuel Taylor Coleridge, 'The Rime of the Ancient Mariner' From cnishida@netcom.com Sun Oct 1 16:21:38 1995 Received: from netcom14.netcom.com by soyokaze.biosci.ohio-state.edu (8.6.10/1.950110) id QAA13023; Sun, 1 Oct 1995 16:21:38 -0400 Received: by netcom14.netcom.com (8.6.12/Netcom) id NAA10954; Sun, 1 Oct 1995 13:19:04 -0700 Date: Sun, 1 Oct 1995 13:18:59 -0700 (PDT) From: "Craig H. Nishida" Subject: Re: [MB-MANGA] 1.1 To: MB-trans ML Message-ID: MIME-Version: 1.0 Content-Type: TEXT/PLAIN; charset=US-ASCII On Sat, 30 Sep 1995, Gary writes: G> when Yoshizumi Wataru uses handwritten dialog, it seems to indicate one G> of n things (where n=4): G> o sound FX G> o note or caption G> o dialog in the distance (offscreen or secondary dialog) G> o character thoughts G> G> the FX and the notes/captions are noted properly in the translation, and G> the 2nd-ary/offscreen dialog (eg: 26-6 and 40-4) don't really need G> special notation. G> G> however, the character thoughts should be noted as such. eg: on 34-1, G> Miki wouldn't actually say "and who's fault is that?" to her mother, and G> i doubt she would say the "no respect" line in 28-2 or the "He heard G> me" line in 38-2 while Yuu was standing right next to her. G> G> anyway, here's a list of the handwritten dialogs that are not notes, G> captions, FXs, or off-screen/distant dialogs. these should probably G> all be marked with (parentheses) to indicate character thoughts. G> G> 11-03 Miki: You have no sympathy for me... G> 12-03 Miki: Even though you're popular. G> 22-03 Jin: There's some connection, but... G> 28-02 Miki: This guy's being too familiar with me. [...] G> 32-03 Chiyako:Don't go too far. G> G> 34-01 Miki: And who's to blame for that confusion? G> 38-02 Miki: He heard me... G> 39-01 Ginta: What does that mean? Rather than character thoughts, I consider these to be lines muttered under one's breath, sotto voce. In at least one of those cases, the other person heard the line. Meiko response is triggered by Miki's "You have no sympathy for me..." Making this distinction is too much bother. To me, a spoken line is a spoken line. Unless it's in a "thought-bubble" or a "flash-thought- bubble" I don't bother putting it in parentheses. G> the following is probably an FX instead of dialog: G> 30-02 Yuu: Shake I dunno. How does one say "let's shake"? Craig From cnishida@netcom.com Sun Oct 1 16:23:22 1995 Received: from netcom14.netcom.com by soyokaze.biosci.ohio-state.edu (8.6.10/1.950110) id QAA13035; Sun, 1 Oct 1995 16:23:21 -0400 Received: by netcom14.netcom.com (8.6.12/Netcom) id NAA11130; Sun, 1 Oct 1995 13:20:48 -0700 Date: Sun, 1 Oct 1995 13:20:48 -0700 (PDT) From: "Craig H. Nishida" Subject: Re: [MB-MANGA] 1.1 (2/4) To: MB-trans ML Message-ID: MIME-Version: 1.0 Content-Type: TEXT/PLAIN; charset=US-ASCII On Sun, 1 Oct 1995, Jeanne writes: J> J> >On Fri, 29 Sep 1995, Harold writes: H> 17-4 Miki: (Oh no. What'll I do?! (ya da dou shiyou_ Maybe I can get to know konna KO to SHIriAi ni nareru a boy like this. with-boy-like-this can-become-acquaintance J> >H> J> >H> "A" or this particular boy? J> > J> > = like-this; this-kind-of; such-a J> J> I agree with Harold that Miki's talking about getting to know this boy in J> particular, as opposed to a boy like this. IMO her next few lines make J> this clear: J> J> > I'm awfully lucky...) suggoku rakki--...) J> > awfully lucky J> > J> >5 J> >[A star pops over her head.] J> > J> >p 18 J> >1 J> >[Miki shakes her head violently. Rumi looks at her daughter in puzzlement.] J> >narration: J> > What the heck am I thinking ...NANI KANGAete n no atashi tteba J> > of? what thinking-about I I-tell-you J> > J> > This isn't the time for so-- yu-- BA-AI ja nakute_ J> > that! that-kind-of case not-being I'll have to disagree. You and Howard are reading things another way, and not the way that is written by Yoshizumi Wataru. The is clearly there. "This boy" would be . What Miki says before and afterwards supports the view that she is thinking: Maybe I can get to know a boy (as cool-looking & with a super-cute smile) like this. I'm awfully lucky... What the heck am I thinking of? This isn't the time for that! I suppose the idea is that she'd settle for ANY guy that looks good. Since she knows nothing about Yuu at this point, he's just any other guy to her. Craig